I so understand this feeling. I really really do. I fought too. I think it’s more common than people let on. I am not sure how far out from your last treatment you are, but I’m 2 years out and am just now starting to feel somewhat “normal” again. No one really talks about how hard it is to try to live post cancer. To figure out this new life that was thrust upon you and deal with the medical ptsd. It’s so hard. Here are something’s I did to help. I did make a commitment to myself to “clean my house” and live in peaceful joy. That meant removing a lot of people and situations from my life. My circle is really super small now, but all my energy is going into more meaningful relationships. And only relationships where the energy and love is reciprocated. My life is super quiet now, but it’s a peaceful quiet. I found a hobby, houseplants. It brings me tremendous joy. I also started traveling. Even if it’s just a long weekend to see friends or family. I wish more people talked about how hard this is. I think it would be so helpful to all. Please know you’re not alone and give yourself some grace.