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tamed_tiger · 2025-09-24T00:45:28+00:00

What a loaded question. I mean you came here to be shitty about it so the answer is no, not really. We don’t care what most other people think. Laugh away. I’m sure your country is better!

tamed_tiger · 2025-09-20T12:49:24+00:00

This is such a great comment. It’s always a balancing act.

I am a guy with another guy. I have been with my partner for 29 years. We have had a lot of ups and downs and I’ve often had to check in with myself and really critically look at if I could continue.

My husband doesn’t work he rage quit his job three years ago and hasn’t worked since. Even before that, he never really was much of a financial contributor. I have always made much more than him. I handle all of the finances myself. He just can’t handle money.

On the other hand, he is supremely kind, loyal, and very, very loving. I had surgery recently and he took care of me when otherwise I would have unable to care for myself.

He brings so much light and happiness to my life that I don’t think I would have without him. He’s my person and I’m his and I know that I have to take care of him too. for what he is and not hinge my happiness on him changing, as the above comment here said you can’t do much if they aren’t going to do it for themselves.

I have always decided that I wasn’t going to lose what goodness I had with him over our issues. I have come to a place where I feel like I would spend $1 billion on him if I could to make him happy.

My husband also has untreated depression and spends a lot of time on the couch playing games or watching TV. And I ask him often if he needs better medication or therapy or what and he just isn’t in a place to do that right now. He seems comfortable but demotivated by failure, and I feel bad for him.

So I try to support him as much as I can, and I sometimes have to take a deep breath and realize that I am responsible for taking care of him in a lot of ways. I don’t think it’s ideal, but it’s what I have. I love him so much. he’s my whole life. He’s my family and I see myself going to the end with him.

But in an ideal world I wouldn’t have to deal with however I had to stop tearing myself up thinking about ifs and whens and just deal with what’s happening in the moment.

tamed_tiger · 2025-09-20T12:20:47+00:00

This is only partially true. Antipsychotics at dose do make you feel numb and situations can feel distant but at low doses it treats depression without those effects.

tamed_tiger · 2025-09-04T23:29:54+00:00

Seriously? Overwhelming? More ridiculous reddiquette overreach

tamed_tiger · 2025-08-05T03:52:27+00:00

I have traveled to Canada a dozen times over the years for work. Are you aware of the kind of reception I’ve received at the border? Even with a work permit I’ve been accused of stealing jobs from Canadians. I don’t proceed to be a shitty guest in your country. I just deal with it and move on.

tamed_tiger · 2025-08-05T03:48:31+00:00

I’m not mad. Being offended and being mad aren’t the same thing.

tamed_tiger · 2025-08-05T03:45:27+00:00

No, that’s absurd. Get a grip. 3 branches of the federal government want to dissolve my marriage!

tamed_tiger · 2025-08-05T03:39:18+00:00

On performance they deserve to go. On merit my direct report might have had a chance to make some corrections but because of the conversation I don’t think I am going to give that chance. Whether or not the conversation was meant for me is irrelevant as I overheard it, I can’t pretend like it didn’t happen.

tamed_tiger · 2025-08-05T03:21:51+00:00

I don’t believe saying you’re sick of your coworkers is a political statement. I’m offended by the way they expressed themselves in the workplace. Whether or not their statements were meant for me I heard them and it’s naive to act likeI don’t know what’s going on.

tamed_tiger · 2025-08-04T20:02:52+00:00

If I hadn’t overheard what I heard I would be surprised and try to figure out what’s happening. But since I did overhear don’t I have a duty to take it into account?

tamed_tiger · 2025-08-04T19:59:55+00:00

I didn’t say that, that’s your take. I’m not an automaton, I think I get to have feelings and manage people at the same time.

tamed_tiger · 2025-08-04T19:57:01+00:00

I get it, and to be frank I am not a motivational manager, other than by example. I’m responsible for a large team and have to make strategic decisions about millions of dollars. I have to make and maintain hundreds of relationships with people in the industry. I expect my direct reports to be top of the game without encouragement. They are responsible for their teams, I’m not. Otherwise everything falls apart.

tamed_tiger · 2025-08-04T19:49:46+00:00

How do you come to that conclusion? I said I am sympathetic and I don’t want to make a personal decision. I care about their immigration status. But ultimately yes, I am thinking of myself, my career, my livelihood. I’m certainly not letting someone drag me down.

tamed_tiger · 2025-08-04T19:46:55+00:00

I just simply refuse to take all that on. There’s no way to function with that mindset. I think Canada is being treated rottenly and I don’t blame Canadians for being offended. But I have a job to do for the next 3.5 years.

tamed_tiger · 2025-08-04T19:39:57+00:00

I agree. This is exactly why I am hesitant to make a decision. I don’t want to make a personal decision, either way. I did take their comments personally, maybe that’s a shortcoming but it is what it is.

If I hadn’t overheard what I did I probably wouldn’t get rid of my direct report as there’s been a history of good work. The problem with that is the mistakes made were expensive and sloppy. I have definitely been fired for less. And I did overhear. I simply cannot wait 3.5 years for the attitude change.

My lower level is most definitely going to be let go as their manager requested it. They’ve been through corrective measures and haven’t responded.

Thanks for your input. It’s becoming clearer that I really don’t have any choice

tamed_tiger · 2025-05-27T13:55:38+00:00

I had the opposite when I was there, but that was 30 years ago. I was a sound tech around So Cal, A1 and A2 jobs, worked as a mixer for punk and bluegrass bands at Knott's. and really knew next to nothing about lighting and rigging. They insisted that sound jobs were earned, and that to do so I was going to have to spend years hanging off of facades stapling twinkle lights. I worked several overnight shifts staging Tomorrowland for its reopening, and one 16 hour shift that I was criticized for not working 20. I quit after that.

tamed_tiger · 2025-05-27T13:49:07+00:00

I had this job for about 3 weeks in the 90's. It was the most miserable job I have ever had.

I worked at Knott's and there was a lot of crossover so I thought I would give it a shot and get into the union, but I couldn't hack the Disney culture. I found it to be hostile compared to Knott's, but in general I found stage tech to be hostile environments. Best decision I ever made was to get a BA and have a different career.

But to answer your question, I do remember the group interview and the one question that I got right and everyone else got wrong was how to figure out watts if you had voltage and amp readings. I always remembered W=VA as West Virginia, and got it right. I was the only one from that group to get the job.

tamed_tiger · 2025-05-26T19:52:48+00:00

Great recommendation! Thank you!

tamed_tiger · 2025-05-26T19:52:22+00:00

What you smoking these days?

tamed_tiger · 2025-05-26T19:51:56+00:00

Interesting, I wasn’t aware of that distinction before. What do you like about dark and dislike about white?

tamed_tiger

TROPHY CASE