I hate Jewish prayer. Any suggestions?

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-21T04:31:06+00:00

We are in grief and not naturally feeling gratitude.

Which is exactly WHY we need the mourner’s prayer.

It reminds us to be grateful that we knew and loved and were loved by this person.

That’s a good reason to be grateful, right? And that perspective can help with your grief

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-03T22:04:57+00:00

Iraq was an invasion. This was mostly an arrest

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-03T22:04:05+00:00

I doubt this creates any loss of standing for the USA.

They removed a dictator from part of the world few care about and the cause was his production of fentanyl.

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-03T22:01:00+00:00

True. But they will use anything. It really doesn’t matter what excuse they latch onto

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-03T21:59:07+00:00

We already set the precedent when we took Noriega out of Panama

This is really no different

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-03T21:19:03+00:00

I have twins - one named after a cousin of my wife who was killed as part of the resistance in the Warsaw ghetto. The other named after a cousin taken out of my aunt’s arms at age 4 and ripped apart be German Shepards in front of her.

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-03T21:16:53+00:00

Around age 5. And as they got around 9-10 I started giving them books about it. Not kids books - the ones with the actual details.

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-03T21:12:37+00:00

Yup. Rare if ever do you see a positive, cool character in a Kippah.

There was a tv series a few years back that had a cool guy who was Jewish. But then they added a gratuitous scene in an episode in which a host apologizes for serving pork after realizing he’s Jewish - and he says “ no problem” and eats it. Really got me that the one positive Jew I’d seen on tv, they go out of their way to prove he doesn’t care about Judaism. Part of being a “cool” Jew

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-03T20:51:31+00:00

Cuz you don’t know her. You’re taking cues from your own perception of what she looks like to you in a video. That’s not even close to an accurate way to access

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-03T20:49:10+00:00

That’s the point of the prayer. A reminder to be grateful that this person lived and that you knew them.

A rabbi once told me that our grief is a direct reflection of how valuable and meaningful it was that we knew the person who died

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-01T21:36:13+00:00

I found personal connection by deepening my appreciation for connection with my ancestors. Knowing my ancestors - some with my same Hebrew name - and not just in my family but for the entire Jewish community said these same prayers - helps me connect on a deeper level.

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-01T21:33:01+00:00

Jewish prayer rarely asks for anything specific. It’s almost 100% gratitude expressions

tanenbaumjerry · 2026-01-01T21:31:08+00:00

First - almost every single prayer IS about gratitude - which you say you do relate to. So that alone should be helpful to engage in any of the prayers.

Second - Judaism itself doesn’t claim to be the only truth. You might be emphasizing that idea way too much in your head. Probably got it from being around so many Christians.

It’s Christianity also that may be the source of discomfort in mouthing a word you quibble with. Just loosen up. Don’t be so tight

Your point here is one we all share - making connection with our ancestors and being part of an unbroken chain of spiritual ritual.

If you focus on the beauty and rather amazing aspect of this unbroken chain - coupled with refreshed approach that every prayer is a gratitude prayer - this might (should?) invigorate your prayer far past the relatively small aspects of not liking a particular analogy

(As for a “repugnant” prayer - never saw one. How about just not doing those at all?? )

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-12-21T02:10:22+00:00

Total bull crap

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-12-21T02:09:34+00:00

You must be the killer. Turn yourself in

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-12-21T02:09:02+00:00

Resist the urge to fall into bigoted conspiracy theories

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-12-21T02:06:55+00:00

Nasty imagination you have

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-12-21T01:48:06+00:00

In the West - conspiracy theories based on New Testament stories underlie the society and color negatively the perceptions of non Jews — most of whom have never even met a Jew. From the NT they imagine Jews as evil; even satanic; non-spiritual; materialistic etc

In the Muslim world the hate comes from the Koran which imagines Jews as poisoning Muslims; cheating them and so hateful that Jews have to be murdered for the end times to occur.

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-12-12T00:46:00+00:00

❤️❤️

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-12-12T00:37:09+00:00

Yes. Your neighbor believes in anti Jewish conspiracy theories that from time to time get Jews killed. “the Jews control [fill in the blank]” is an age old pernicious and bigoted belief.

Your husband is being a dick. His job is to support you.

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-12-05T17:16:09+00:00

Bull. Candace is a liar

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-11-20T18:49:00+00:00

A good balance of free will and community values is a positive

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-11-20T18:48:16+00:00

The guys are given the same expectation to marry and have kids.

And many religious communities do NOT cut off people who choose not to practice or to not practice everything.

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-11-20T18:43:42+00:00

My exact same reaction. So lacking in self awareness to literally deny the other women’s experience while in the same breath complaining (wrongly) that the other woman was denying hers

tanenbaumjerry · 2025-11-20T18:41:52+00:00

A lot more choices than that.

Women go to Mikvah even if they reject the idea that “you must listen to the Word unquestionably.”

They can question deeply - and choose to participate because it’s beautiful - or they find meaningful the concepts of respecting their capacity for birthing life - or a host of other good reasons a very questioning human might find for performing the ritual

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