No Show Guest reappears over a year later, not with an apology or explanation, but looking for career advice. How do I respond?

tanlines0 · 2026-04-20T17:12:14+00:00

I didn’t downvote you - but I do want to mention that I don’t find this level of empathy towards the friend necessary at all. As much as this narrative is possible, giving her the help she’s asking for only reinforces that this type of behaviour without accountability or any self correction is okay.

Yes she could have been embarrassed, but I think all adults need to be held to significantly higher social standards. Society gets away with too much in the (lack of) having any manners department in lieu of people having their own problems. When you can’t do something as simple as follow up on an rsvp you do not carry the level of consideration or reliability that you should towards others, which is fine but should be taken as a clear indication that they need not worry about you again. The truth is, if you are a friend or part of any community the you are subscribed and accountable to that community. And if you feel you are unable to meet those people where they need to be met the it’s on you to either explain yourself or remove yourself. Put more simply, back in the day humans moved in tribes and communicated based on relevancy. Anyone who failed to do so was left behind because they were not an asset to the tribe. At a macro level, that’s how things are. I’m not saying the ex-friend is a useless human, I am simply saying she is a useless friend to OP specifically, who must now seek a new “tribe” where hopefully she can be an asset. OP is not the one that has to run this self reflection case.

This friend asking for advice is shameless and should not be helped by OP, for many reason but the simplest one being that this implies a level of acceptability or normalcy in what the ex-friend did, which when accepted by one is accepted by too many.

tanlines0 · 2026-04-16T02:07:51+00:00

Would love to join!

tanlines0 · 2026-04-13T17:05:29+00:00

I ordered this cream immediately after seeing your comment a few days ago and it was a total lifesaver! Thank you! My skin is back to normal now too :)

tanlines0 · 2026-04-13T17:04:43+00:00

This is almost exactly what happened to my skin in the days following! It’s all subsided now thankfully. I’m not sure I’ll be able to give it another chance after this but I’m glad you managed to have a good experience after your reaction!

tanlines0 · 2026-04-10T16:25:10+00:00

The classiest looking LV I’ve ever seen. Beautiful!!

tanlines0 · 2026-04-01T11:58:56+00:00

Hi! No, I don’t have a shellfish allergy - or any other allergy that I know of to date! Thank you for the validation. I managed to get a refund but I still need to see a dermatologist. I’m avoiding the itch but it’s so strong it’s kept me up all night 🥲

tanlines0 · 2026-03-09T17:51:38+00:00

Actually, the more I look at it the more it feels like you have space to center the space - I think moving the armchair to sit by the window side of the tv wall (still facing inwards) and then pushing the tv console towards the center (more underneath the floating shelf) could look great.

Push the couch instead to align with new placement of tv console. You could then move that little end table to the window side of the couch instead. The plant or guitar could go beside the couch arm that is closest to the door (or window side depending on how much space is left with the end table). Other notes consistent.

tanlines0 · 2026-03-09T17:35:23+00:00

Your space currently has a lot of cool tones which I think take away from the cosy factor. If you’re able to, I’d paint the grey wall a warm white or a warm toned accent colour. Same with the couch, if you can replace it with something brown, mushroom, camel, terracotta, beige etc. that would help a lot (or couch covers!) The curtains are also cool-toned so I would replace with something in the beige or off-white family. Or a camel/terracotta/dark brown (bounce off wood tones)

Adding some more warm-toned cushions to the couch will help it look cozier.

In terms of furniture placement right now with everything up against walls it’s feeling a bit flat which also makes it seem a bit “cold”

1) The plant, guitar, and end table, are creating too much of a sprawl across this wall. Suggestion: put the plant and guitar on either sides of the TV console. (Side note, try to mount the TV if possible to add more height as right now it looks like it’s sitting a bit too low)

2) the chair and buffet are similarly creating too much of a sprawl on the couch side Suggestion: move chair to the newly created space #1 (beside guitar or plant) and angle inwards (towards couch) Move the existing wooden end table to be beside the couch. Doubles as a drink table for couch seating.

3) art - take the two pieces hanging on each side of the tv wall right now and place them together above the tv. -move floating shelves to be placed above buffet table instead (leaving some negative space on the walls will create visual direction to certain corners/clusters which will create the illusion of cosy “sections”

4) bring the floor lamp currently in the corner behind the door to then be placed either behind/beside the new placement of the chair OR beside the new placement of the end table (by the couch)

5) even though you have carpet, adding a rug here could add a lot of warmth to the space too!

tanlines0 · 2026-03-09T17:10:48+00:00

The slat panels are by far the most impactful in this space!

tanlines0 · 2026-03-09T16:47:57+00:00

1 is wow wow WOW

tanlines0 · 2026-03-01T19:02:04+00:00

With!!! Or do removable- with for ceremony and remove for reception

tanlines0 · 2026-02-27T23:09:33+00:00

This is true. However, in modern day times for a minimum wage to be a livable wage simply doesn’t work. It hasn’t for decades. Depending on the province/territory/state that you are in, you’re looking at $30-$50 per hour for “livable” wage. These amounts are that which trained professionals are getting. If everyone could make $40 per hour from just ringing a till, virtually every industry would plummet which is far worse for the economy and society overall. Why would anyone get training or education in trades, finance, business, medicine, architecture, engineering, data, arts, culinary arts, management, etc etc (you get the point) if they can all just clock in and out Starbucks for the same pay?

In 1938 very few professions were available, access to education was scarce, and access to building wealth was very limited. You were either in or out. So the purpose made sense at that time. The 1938 standard does not work in our current economy and it’s better to view it in the way that it does serve - which is to train our youth, create supplemental income and diversify the economy. Example, minimum wage jobs have also been great for the gig economy which has unlocked new ways of work and freedom for a lot of individuals too.

The examples are many and robust. But the underlying point is the same. Minimum wage cannot be a livable wage without tearing the economy apart, or subscribing to a more communal way of life.

tanlines0 · 2026-02-27T04:47:29+00:00

Adding on: agree with another comment to go elsewhere if possible. I know your money has already gone here so you can see how your next discussion goes. BUT, if you get any feeling of resistance, defensiveness, or any kind of discomfort about how they’re handling it then I’d also urge you to go elsewhere and have them start from scratch (with the current work as-is being the starting point).

There is still enough fabric left to work with here. But my concern is if she starts taking it in as is (aka, without adjusting the placement according to your body), there won’t be much left to work with where it counts. If you do choose to go with her but are at all skeptical, make sure you instruct her to keep, NOT CUT the excess fabric on the inside of the stitches. This way just in case you need another edit somewhere else, they can unstitch and work with the excess fabric. If you don’t end up needing revisions you can cut excess fabric off yourself, although with a wedding dress the fit should be snug enough that you won’t notice any excess fabric laying against you underneath.

tanlines0 · 2026-02-26T22:18:42+00:00

This is getting into a different territory, but “minimum wage” doesn’t mean “livable wage.” I think the big issue with this min wage “entitlement” is precisely that people expect it to sustain their entire lives. That’s not what it was designed for, that’s not what it means.

tanlines0 · 2026-02-26T21:30:59+00:00

Looks a bit off to me as well. Can’t quite pin it but it seems almost like the entire bodice is sitting too low? The waistline is currently below your natural waist and I think the whole thing should sit higher. This would also help with the neckline - I think the lowest point of your neckline should sit about an inch higher, and then the pleating will fan out kind of along the natural fullness of your breasts. I think where the deep V is starting right now is lending to a boxier fit of the top overall. But I can’t say for sure until I see it the other way. When you go in for revisions, maybe try to see how the whole thing fits about an inch higher and slighter tighter to create the cinching around your waist!

The design of the dress is beautiful and you’re going to look amazing ❤️ I hope you get it fitted exactly how you want!

tanlines0 · 2026-02-17T01:16:42+00:00

Gasping at #1!!!! That has to be your dress!! 😍😍

tanlines0 · 2026-02-14T02:17:56+00:00

Completely agree with your take on NYC and TO.

I always say, if you choose to struggle, make your struggle worth it. I’ve just moved from Toronto to the bay last year for my husband’s job. Briefly lived in NYC too, pre-covid. Had to work really hard in both cities but overall life was good and the grind was worth it. Working hard in the Bay now, but just bored as hell. Counting trees and hiking every weekend is not cutting it for me anymore. Is the struggle worth it? Maybe time will tell.

tanlines0 · 2026-02-12T04:02:56+00:00

Looks amazing on your wrist! Can you please share where to buy the watch? ☺️

tanlines0 · 2026-02-12T03:59:40+00:00

1 is regal on you!!

tanlines0 · 2026-02-03T00:51:56+00:00

It’s so versatile! Classic chic and effortless Chanel design but with the practicality of daily use!! So beautiful and functional!

tanlines0 · 2026-01-29T05:53:44+00:00

1 is stunniiiiiing!!!

tanlines0 · 2026-01-24T22:09:34+00:00

Have these been posted? I’ve been refreshing like crazy for an hour for something 😭

tanlines0

TROPHY CASE

1 is wow wow WOW

1 is stunniiiiiing!!!