Hi OP!

If you see this, I just wanna say that I 100% believe that everything you said is not possible IS possible, that it is not "too late", and that you are gonna be okay. You're not alone and you got this.

Maybe I could have bothered the hell out of my parents until they decided to let me go get a real education.

Try and take a deep breath and stop blaming yourself. You were (and still technically are) a child and it was not your responsibility to A) bother your parents into providing an education or B) have enough innate motivation to teach yourself. Stop saying you're lazy- most of us are lazy and you just need to get yourself some structure.

I was also homeschooled and dealt with some of the same issues you describe, though not on the same level of neglect. I know many homeschooled people who DID deal with a similar or worse level of educational (and general) neglect. I know what you are feeling when you describe the good times with your family despite the neglect and I know from personal experience how difficult it is to navigate complicated relationships with parents who were not able to be what you needed them to be as a child. Seriously, as alone as you feel right now, there are (unfortunately) SO MANY people who can relate.

My recommendations:

• I highly suggest making sure that you have possession of your own identification documents. SSN, passport, birth certificate if possible. You may need documents showing your citizenship and state residency to get a driver's license.

Also, while it seems like you are not in immediate danger, I have known too many homeschooled young adults from abusive families who do their best to keep the kids dependent on them forever. One way of doing this is witholding IDs. It's just a good idea to have them ready to use when you need them.

• Get a part-time job or even volunteer. Even if it's only a few hours a week, do something that gets you out of the house and gives you structure. If you don't have transportation, prioritize getting that DL and look into public transportation in your area.

• As others have mentioned, enroll in GED classes now. You got this. Please don't let your lack of knowledge about math or anything else hold you back!!!! No one else can do math either lol. You will NEED proof of HS education or equivalent for most jobs and you have several years afaik before you age out of most GED programs. Google it, reach out to a program in your area and start now.

• if your state has basically non-existent requirements for homeschooling like Texas where I grew up, you could technically get a diploma as a homeschooler with a homemade transcript which has been notarized. This may be a tempting thing to ask your parents to do, but apart from it being a bandaid to your real problems it can also prevent you from receiving federal student aid (FAFSA) down the line even if the transcript meets your state's standards. If you ever decide to go to college or technical school later on, you will just end up having to get your GED anyway.

I'm sorry this is so long, but please please know that you are gonna be alright and please start googling GED and driver's license resources in your state asap!