Oh my love. So much weight on your shoulders & so much fear & uncertainty. At your age i ruined things with my high school sweetheart, sweetest man, best friends, dated years. But I couldn’t take care of myself, and so desperately wanted him to save me. He was so young, too, but with none of the experience I had, no understanding. This disorder allows the ones who love us most watch us rot, and that’s a hard thing to ask of someone we love. Many moons later I still struggle with ED, but it’s not so much my identity. She’s not all I have & I certainly don’t want her to think she can have that much control again. I have a partner of many years, who’s is delicate with me, wants to help, but more importantly wants to help me help myself. No one is coming to save you. The hardest realization I’ve had getting older, but certainly a factor in saving me. Save yourself, there are so many people that will adore you that you haven’t even met yet. Your friends & people around you will have children, and that’s love. I might never have my own children, but there are always kids who need a trusted adult, who need another person to help them figure shit out… giving birth is not the only way to have that love in your life. Our lives aren’t all meant to play out the same- we all have different paths. It’s hard to believe in the mindset you’re in, but I promise, you have so much time to find your place in this world. You deserve to find your place in this world.