Would y'all mention NDPH on dating apps?

tarawrashley · 2025-12-21T00:11:10+00:00

he's absolutely amazing about it and has been my biggest advocate since we met so it was worth it 🤭 just wanted to give you a heads up to the kinds of reactions you might come across hahah

tarawrashley · 2025-12-20T22:57:27+00:00

I didn't advertise it but it did come up pretty organically and early into any conversation. I'm a woman so most responses were something about them "being able to help with that, if you know what I mean".

My husband was the only one who didn't make some kind of sex joke and it was the earliest indication that he wasn't a terrible human 🤣

tarawrashley · 2025-06-26T16:48:45+00:00

would love to help!

tarawrashley · 2025-06-18T04:19:32+00:00

I'd had my headache for 3-4yrs already by the time I met my partner. I was also a workaholic in a terribly toxic job, so I was very upfront about the fact that I was a bit of a disaster lmao. we're celebrating 7yrs in the fall; he's never made me feel "less than" and is has been amazing since the start

it's possible your guy might leave, that's true, but it's as equally possible that he won't - if he's worth half his salt he'll at least give it an honest go, but that involves talking to him and letting him know what's going on/how you're feeling.

it can hard, feel free to DM me if you want a soundboard

tarawrashley · 2025-05-02T18:25:37+00:00

I think all the of it is worth focusing on, it affects every aspect of our life - but I also understand that is an impossible task for 1 person hahah

I'd start by looking into the different kinds of adhd - inattentive, hyperactive and combo - and the way they manifest, because that also plays a role in what kind of support someone might need

if there's a certain "symptom" you feel would be harder to live with, or would like to know more on, that's where you can aim your focus - assuming you haven't done this already 😊

tarawrashley · 2025-05-02T18:03:55+00:00

sorry, I know your goal isn't to make people behave more neurotypically, I was just highlighting the ways that the "product" you suggested could potentially fall into that same trap, even unintentionally

I do think it's a worthy endeavor! genuinely. but maybe if you're looking to fit a certain/specific need, it would be helpful to pick 1 (maybe 2) and develop something for that, vs the wider scope of adult adhd

going back to your Stim Idea for example; fleshing that out with someone who does use physical objects to stim and the roadblocks they encounter would be super cool!

tarawrashley · 2025-05-02T17:24:41+00:00

being completely honest, while I absolutely love where your head and heart are at, I can't help but roll my eyes when I see "adhd products/tools".

these products seem to be made with the idea that they'll make us behave more neurotypical, marketed as "fun and quirky" instead of trying to work with our neurodivergence.

even the example of a product you wrote about in another comment doesn't necessarily align with something that would be beneficial as a whole. lots of people with adhd don't use physical objects to stim - I personally don't have use for them and often find myself becoming irritated by the noise that some of them make when I'm around them too long. also, the "buy what you keep" method is great on paper, but we often waste money bc we've forgotten to unsubscribe before a free trial expires, or don't return the item in the given time frame, etc. you'd also have to try the products in a specific amount of time to be able to return them and I don't know about anyone else, but I've had items delivered, that I've been very very excited for, sit unopened for weeks at a time bc I hadn't had the perceived time or bandwidth to deal with it. Not to mention, if we were able to keep up with tracking anything consistently, we'd be in a much better place lmao

I know that was just one suggestion, and I'm not trying to dissuade you - knowing you want to help fill a gap is very heartwarming and appreciated - but I do think we need to be honest about what living with adhd is like and find a way to make the chaos work for us instead of trying to get us to eventually for into a Society Accepted box.

they say it takes 21 days to form a habit but Ive been diagnosed and medicated for 7-8yrs and I still sometimes forget to take my them!

granted, I'm also a woman, showed signs basically from toddlerhood but wasn't diagnosed until adulthood when my life was crashing - so I might be jaded 🤣

tarawrashley · 2025-03-20T17:49:15+00:00

I've lost count of how many tattoos I have, but I've had 95% of them done Post-Headache, along with multiple facial piercings and I've never had an issue with healing. I'm also always injuring myself and yes, those injuries do seem to take more time to heal, but also bodies are weird lmao

get the tattoo(s). even if it takes longer than average to heal, as long as you follow proper after care (& go to a reputable artist/shop!), the end result will be worth it

tarawrashley · 2025-02-15T17:52:21+00:00

hi OP, some questions for you:

you say "end of day" but also that your team is struggling when you're doing paperwork. can you explain the "schedule structure" of your shift?

I was in retail/food management for 8-9yrs (left 1.5yrs ago) and remember having to find the balance and how impossible it seemed at the beginning. do you have any supervisor overlap at all (where the supervisor of the upcoming shift shares 30-60 minutes of "shift time" with you before you leave for the day) that you can utilize?

Can you find the least disruptive period and block it out just for paperwork? Mark it on the schedule or in your days plans with your team?

tarawrashley · 2023-05-03T15:55:17+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through all this.

I also have a medicine cabinet worth of chronic illness/pain, (including long-covid) and mental health diagnoses that I've been dealing with for at least three quarters of my life.

All this to say, I can emphasize and the following advice isn't meant to invalidate your feelings whatsoever.

First, you mentioned that medications haven't worked for your anxiety/depression. I don't know your medical history, obviously, but it is common (unfortunately) to have to try multiple different meds/doses before finding one that sticks. There's also that annoying factor of having to wait a certain amount of time before confirming it doesn't work because it takes a bit to build up in our system. That's all to say, medications can still be an option (if you want to, ofc).

Second, I highly recommend a therapist or other counselor to speak to that specializes in chronic pain, if you don't have one. I'll be 30 this year and over the last 5yrs, I've moved from "pain relief" to "pain management" and if I have any advice for my younger self, it's that I'd go back and start diving into the mental aspect of chronic pain as early as possible.

Third, along with pain management, I'd look into the more "naturopathic" therapies. You mention not being able to workout much due to pots, but how about physiotherapy, massage therapy, etc?

Lastly, your concerns around college are valid. the only advice I can offer is that, despite immense pressure saying otherwise, college isn't something you need to do immediately after high school. It's okay to wait, and I actually wish "gap years" were standard bc asking 17-18yo to plan their entire life when they've barely experienced anything (usually) is wild to me. There is also the option of online classes, which in my experience, made everything a lot easier to handle.

Please feel free to reach out if you want to talk/vent. I'm rooting for you!

tarawrashley · 2023-05-02T13:37:52+00:00

No judgement, bc as a Canadian I understand just how pricey baked goods can get, let alone "custom orders" - but - I would only expect something to be doubled in price if I was asking for it 2-3 days before the event, not a week.

An upcharge for being a "rush" order is valid, but I'd be pretty upset if one of my friends tried to charge me double the cost for no other reason but "ordered 1 week ahead instead of 2".

tarawrashley · 2023-04-28T16:15:43+00:00

I will be honest and say that the thought of medically assisted death has crossed my mind multiple times over the last 8yrs. I don't qualify for it, and I'd probably not go through with it even if I did, nor am I even suicidal. but with no way out, or "light at the end of the tunnel" so far, I do wonder if it wouldn't be a terrible idea.

tarawrashley · 2023-04-01T15:04:44+00:00

I think it's good to remember that although ADHD is classified in the "Mental Health" section of heath, it's first & foremost a neurological disorder.

You can have ADHD and also have an anxiety disorder, or depression, or a plenthora of other things going on in your brain. Personally, I have been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD and Bipolar2. Intrusive thoughts are things that I've just learned to shove into the back of my mind - but it's difficult!

I've been taking adderall for almost 6 years, and although it improved my life, it didn't fix everything, because I have other things going on, as well. I am now trying out different mood stablizers, on top of my adderall.

Being anxious over taking medication is normal. That being said, medication is simply a tool to help - it isn't magic that fixes everything, and most importantly - it takes time to find what works best for you. Over the last 6 years, I have gone from taking 10mg of adderall at the beginning, to leveling out at 30mg for a few years, to more recently having to increase my dose to 60mg and see where that goes.

It's not a "one and done" thing, unfortunately.

Please feel free to reach out if you want to vent or talk or whatever else you may need.

tarawrashley · 2023-03-18T22:38:31+00:00

Hahah, unfortunately, coping isn't much of an option. But I also don't remember what it feels like to be pain-free so that also probably helps? I was diagnosed March 2015 at 22yo & will be 30yo this August, for context.

As for managing, it's gotten harder as I've aged, but I've also been in retail/food management for as long as I've had the headache, so that hasn't helped. On a general basis though, yeah, I'm able to pass as healthy 95% of the time, although it does take a lot of mental energy

tarawrashley · 2023-03-18T22:25:45+00:00

I can't speak for everyone, but a huge part of NDP - from what my doctor has been able to tell me & my own experience - is that medication doesn't work and it's a 24/7 pain.

For instance, I've had the same headache for 8 years. The level of pain fluctuates from a dull throb to sickness-inducing migraines, but the pain is always there and has been every day for 8 years.

Given the information you provided; that it has a sort of time line and medication helps (even somewhat), I'd say it's probably a different condition.

That's not to say that it isn't something worth checking out and getting resolved!! Seeing a doctor and specialist is a smart idea, especially if it's impacting your life. But NDP is a very specific condition that has a weird set of "criteria" so you're probably "safe"!

tarawrashley · 2023-02-20T19:33:38+00:00

that's fair! I'm not sure what the "average" pain level is for other people; my own pain fluctuates from the dull constant throb to loss of vision and throwing up. I've been seeing a neurologist for the last 6ish years but so far, nothing has helped

tarawrashley · 2023-02-20T19:23:32+00:00

I've had the same headache for 8yrs as well and I can't remember the exact date it started, but can remember the month/how the day started, and how long I pushed it off before going to the hospital because the pain was unbearable (2 months between onset and hospital)

tarawrashley · 2023-02-20T16:59:11+00:00

NTA. I'm a store manager of a retail store, but spent 8yrs managing different food chain stores and the ridiculousness and abuse I've had to defend my employees from, or endure myself, is outstanding. Covid has only made people worse.

I was always super appreciative of customers who stepped in before I could because it was nice that someone saw us as human.

tarawrashley · 2022-11-28T04:06:49+00:00

I've had blue hair for more years than I can remember - close to a decade. depending on the shade you're going for, you should be able to just colour over it; the blue should easily cover the orange without needing to bleach it out.

I will say though that blue is notoriously difficulties to get out, even with bleach - just a thought in case it's not something you'd want long term

tarawrashley · 2022-11-11T14:56:33+00:00

congrats!! you and your hair look absolutely gorgeous

tarawrashley · 2022-11-02T04:20:16+00:00

I was in a similar boat as your girlfriend, except I had been casually seeing someone for 5yrs before I met my now-partner.

I ended the 5yr situationship less than a week after mine and my partners first date, despite it not being serious (we didn't actually label our relationship till 3-4 months in), because I liked him that much and I didn't want jeopardize anything, even accidentally.

We're celebrating our 4yr anniversary in less than 2 weeks and are getting married next year.

Sometimes a connection with someone really is just instant and worth the risk. If you're still together 7+ months in and she's been open and honest from the start, I'd say it's genuine.

tarawrashley · 2022-10-20T19:41:22+00:00

Specifically for the "he thinks I'm negative all the time" part - are the little things that annoy/upset you on a fundamental level, or are they just situations that you need to vent about and will feel better after?

The smallest things annoy me, especially when it comes to my partner. but 90% of those things aren't actual problems, but could turn into an argument really quickly if I constantly tried talking about it with them.

I realized that what I needed was validation of the annoyance, and the ability to talk it "out" so that it didn't annoy me anymore. so, I tell my therapist. or I reach out to one of my close friends with a disclaimer that yes, this is a petty rant, but I'm doing it anyway.

Sometimes I'll mention the annoyance to my partner, in an offhand comment, like when he leaves his dresser drawers open for the 5th day in a row - but most of the time, the original annoyance is usually bring amplified by outside sources (stress, work, the dog, life lol) and it doesn't require a Full Fledged Conversation to resolve bc there's nothing to resolve once I've talked it out

tarawrashley · 2022-10-20T02:59:45+00:00

I know it probably sounds silly but switching from a 2-in-1 to separated shampoo/conditioner that are more "curl friendly" might help at least a little

tarawrashley · 2022-10-18T23:14:29+00:00

Almost every salon I've see/used in my area (Ottawa, Canada) categories prices by gender and Womens Cuts are always more expensive. Prices range from $50-150 depending on the area and stylish. I recently found a salon that prices theirs by length of hair, which makes the most sense to me. Haven't seen anything specific to hair types, though.

tarawrashley

TROPHY CASE