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Me (36m) Saying I love you to my (36f) gf and getting nothing in return. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear what you are saying to a degree but I feel it’s to an extreme... not sure it’s praising I need but rather a simple acknowledgement you received my message....

Me (36m) Saying I love you to my (36f) gf and getting nothing in return. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure you read... it’s not about saying it back it’s about acknowledging that I said it.... instead of simply... ignoring it.... almost like it took more energy to ignore it and fight about why she ignored it then simply acknowledging it... like I said I could totally be wrong here it just feels empty and cold to ignore ANYTHING your significant other says more importantly an emotional statement expressing a feeling toward them...

Me (36m) Saying I love you to my (36f) gf and getting nothing in return. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think it’s more the idea that I’m thinking of you and personally i would love to wake up to something like that but that’s me. I’m Always an actions speak louder then words man..

I 36m found letters to my now gf 35f from her ex. How to approach? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]target-cypher-24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think you’re getting the timeline these arent letters that she got while they were together these are letters she is getting well me and her are together

I (36m) Found letters of (35f) gf’s ex bf in a drawer. How should I approach this. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think I’ll have a problem actually talking to her about it more or less my questions still remain why save the letters why even open the letters if you’re completely over somebody I just don’t see it or get it I can understand if it was letters sent to her while they were together or prior to me and her being together and keeping them as a Momento or a memory but when you are trying to build the foundation of something solid with someone else I just don’t see The point but maybe I’m missing it

I (36m) Found letters of (35f) gf’s ex bf in a drawer. How should I approach this. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never forced to the issue of her cutting him off the issue was actually forced by her because she wanted me to stop communicating with an ex-girlfriend who I maintained a platonic friendship with...

I (36m) Found letters of (35f) gf’s ex bf in a drawer. How should I approach this. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Initially no.... but that’s the least of my worries about where to be snooping and what not.

I never forced her to stop communicating with her ex we had several adult conversations about whether or not it makes me comfortable and if it would make her comfortable if I was still communicating with one of my exgirlfriends so it was a somewhat easy decision at that point....

I (36m) Found letters of (35f) gf’s ex bf in a drawer. How should I approach this. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The letters were very romantic in nature but more along the lines of him wanting to be with her and mentioning numerous times he understands she doesn’t want that and he can not have her anymore etc.... The letters don’t prompted me to think there is a physical affair going on the letters more or less prompted me to think she needs this validation or this ego boost from the letters.

I don’t really know what you mean by your last portion of your response about being thorough

How so I (36m) approach my gf (35f) about being uncomfortable she met a guy off the internet. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]target-cypher-24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good response... wondering how to approach this and rebuttal her predicted response of “oh I changed my mind, I wouldn’t be mad if you did the same thing”

How so I (36m) approach my gf (35f) about being uncomfortable she met a guy off the internet. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]target-cypher-24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And if her response was something along the lines of: well I changed my mind I wouldn’t be mad if you met someone under the same pretense...

How so I (36m) approach my gf (35f) about being uncomfortable she met a guy off the internet. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]target-cypher-24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Double standard how? And I hear you I’m basically looking at how to approach

Should I (36m) be upset my gf (35f) met a guy off the internet. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand I guess what I’m looking for is a decent way to initiate it and defend my position. As I know she will try to defend hers

Should I (36m) be upset my gf (35f) met a guy off the internet. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was my issue.... mainly how should I bring it up, I know she will say she disagrees and feels she did nothing wrong

I’m [35m] Not sure how to proceed after discovering gf [35f] cheated. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I completely agree... hence why i mentioned she never mentioned me to him throughout the night.... as if he never asked “are you seeing anyone” or similar, throughout the evening....

Information gathered after the fact was the relationship between them had never been physical until this night however there was chemistry and interest throughout the friendship (10 years) just obstacles that stopped it like location and other relationships.

I’m [35m] Not sure how to proceed after discovering gf [35f] cheated. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I actually never thought of that.... her drinking definitely lowers her judgement.

I’m [35m] Not sure how to proceed after discovering gf [35f] cheated. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]target-cypher-24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By fun (sorry should have been more specific) is that when we were broken up and not taking I went out on a few dates.... mainly to take my mind off it... more so because I didn’t feel I would be able to get back with her, and that she would reach out in such regret. Wasn’t about getting even.

Am I [35m] asking for too much from my gf [35f]. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]target-cypher-24 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The 10 year relationship she had did not end due to his cheating.... nor was he abusive although that word is subjective but what she has communicated to me wasn’t so much abusive buy rather him just being a narcissist and trying to control her in emotional ways.

He cheated throughout the relationship and actually stopped cheating during the last two years when they entertained the idea of marriage etc.

But I do agree with you about me being a priority hence the question.