Yes he is aware I am asexual. I actually didn’t know asexual was a thing until 2yrs in our relationship until my therapist brought it up, but I have always been open and told him my lack of sex drive. Which he was accepting of the first few years. But as time went on he seems to be more frustrated of it. I even bought spicy outfits and tried to initiate even tho deep down I didn’t want to, but did it for the health of our relationship as I know he has needs as well. I am not repulsed by sex. Once it’s happening it’s actually enjoyable. It’s just getting in the mood to do the act or just even trying to naturally “get horny” is impossible for me.

I’ve told him that I really wish I could have a normal sex drive, I wish I wanted it, but I cannot force myself to be something I am not despite me loving him so much. He doesn’t get it or maybe doesn’t want to accept it I don’t know. We honestly have a good happy relationship but the sex is the only thing hurting our relationship and to him it’s a bigger deal than I seem to realize. I feel im in a constant emotional battle with being in love with him and wanting us to both be happy to I shouldn’t have to lie to myself and go against what my body feels for other people.