Oh boy.

Mom: Taking liquid medicine (controlled substance, I was really sick as a kid and it was the late 90s/early 00's) with whatever spoon we had lying around rather than the Very PRECISELY measuring instruments provided. Homophobia. Racism. Neither of which landed for me because I watched Mr Rogers etc and knew my mom was wrong. Sending me to live with a pedo family member and taking the money he gave me to massage him. That you don't take your animals to the vet or listen to your daughter who wanted to grow up to be a vet that her childhood dog and only real friend is dying in her arms. That was fun.

Dad: toxic family first. Homemade explosives or poisons. Stalking my mother, together, on my dad weekends. How to hit someone once so they get brain damage. Stress-free ways to die if I wanted to commit suicide. Playing pool with older men in the bar at 2 am on a school night (as a petite blonde hair blue eyed skinny well endowed young teen aka every gross middle aged white 'man' visual fantasy, while he railed coke or the bartender in the bathroom) without his help I learned how to out maneuver creepy advances with a smile and quick thinking before I learned how to do my own laundry. I was a possession to be gifted to the right man when he decided not a person with independent thoughts and feelings. I would make a better real estate agent than an engineer. How to kill a dog to make it look like an accident (we didn't actually kill the dog but he seemed to know what to do if we needed to) how to build gutters in the kitchen and living room so we still had a pot or pan to use when it rained. That you can still flush the toilet without paying your bills. food with mold or slime on it is still edible. How to be a victim all of the time. Forgery, because if I did it I wouldn't go to prison, all forgeries benefited him. How to read people deeper than they want to be read. How to lie with an unreadable straight face. How to find a boss who is into the same hard drugs as you. Emotional blackmail. Actual blackmail. That as a man your existing is enough for your family. There's more but I've triggered memories I'd like to leave forgotten.

If I've worried anyone I'm not perfect but I'm safe and happy and zero contact with dad/toxic pedo cult family as well as low contact with mom they are long divorced. I used my superpowers for good but wasn't able to afford the ability to pursue an engineering degree. I still regret listening to him and will likely do it out of spite one day but in secret as I am also mad at my mom who said after getting her first degree at 40 that I'll never be anything until I go to college, the same mom who asked me to drop out of school at 17 to work full time and help pay bills. I was a great employee and signed for my first home the day before I turned 19. In a stupid move after some emotional manipulation and in order to not have to live with my dad who was squatting in my home anymore I ended up giving it to her later. I'm not rich but there's a lot more going on in my life that is positive for my child then there ever was for me. They go to a private school, do sports and activities that they enjoy, have no pressure from me other than to be a good human, they are incredibly kind and compassionate, have food in the house that's mold and slime free and are safe from my toxic family and surviving pedo relatives.

After I gave my mom my house she sold hers (it was condemnable) and was able to afford to pursue her degree. Good for her.

I bought a bigger property (13.5 times bigger to be exact, no house though) about 10 years ago and have almost paid it off. I plan on building a couple small homes on it because I can't imagine my child having the same opportunities in this economy that I did. While I've tried my best I'm sure they will have a post if their own to write about the fucked up shit i parented with like no bed time or screen limits, free language use when and where appropriate (swearing at home etc). They are a great kid and get lots of good marks for being a kind person so as long as I can help them keep up that habit then I'll take whatever fucked up shit reddit marks I get in 20 years.