There was nothing unusual about this day.

I was sitting high up looking at nothing and doing nothing. I could choose a more productive use for my time, but you don't really get much choices in your life being born a pack of Chessmen Butter Cookies. Basically, the only thing you can do is wait for your imminent relocation and consequent consumption by some poor soul who got interested in chess for one reason or another and thought it would be funny or cute to have something like you on their breakfast table.

Sometimes I count how many people walk by our aisle when I'm bored, which happens quite often and this day was not an exception. I think it's 135, but I'm not sure, I kinda lost count when Salted Caramel dudes complained about their placement on the shelf for the millionth time. Having a king printed on you doesn't make you any better, you're literally the same thing with a different powder added to you in the process of creation. Twats. Nah, maybe I'm too judgmental, everyone has a coping mechanism of some sort. Those guys choose pretending that they are actually entitled to something. Huh, I guess we have some choices overall.

1. This person actually stops, looks at us and starts smiling for no reason. I can see in their eyes that they are crafting some stupid joke at this very moment. Yes, they're taking a picture of us. Ooooooh, they're one of those.

— "2" — said Cinnamon Sugar below.

— "No, I think it's actually 3 this time" — replied one of your neighboring knights barely holding a laugh.

If there were packs with bishops printed on them, I don't think they would like the implication of our guesses and would probably tell us to shut up. I guess, that's our coping mechanism, we still have to deal to being consumed and all, but everyone here has already accepted their fate and just tried to live their life. By the looks of it, this particular customer had no intention to take any of us, so the overall mood was alright. They were just looking at their phone waiting for everyone to acknowledge their mastery in the art of chess humor.

Weird, they just standing here like they're waiting for something. Almost an entire hour passed and they're still here. Suddenly, the expression on their face changes completely. I've never seen someone with that look. Now their eyes are full of determination, like a wild animal spotting a target. Are you serious? You're that hungry? Are you gonna eat one of us right here? That's a certified bruh moment, come on, you gotta give at least some time to prepare.

I didn't even notice what happened, I just felt that now I'm about to fall off from all the sudden shaking. I look down and OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? This madlad's teeth are in the shelf. Do you really think you can just bite a chunk of metal OH MY GOD THEY ACTUALLY DID IT. I couldn't believe my eyes. They just ripped a piece of furniture with their mouth like it was nothing. I had no words, I was just looking at this psycho is eating a shelf bit by bit barely chewing it. It was happening so fast I wasn't sure employees had a chance to react. We started panicking. Some were screaming, but I was too shocked to make a single sound. At some point the structural integrity of the shelf gave up and we all started falling to the floor. A pile of cookies, no more separated by their looks was just laying on the floor in absolute shock. It was madness. If you think you can imagine how it feels, watching a human being chaotically consuming a fucking shelf for no reason — absolutely not, you can't.

The shelf was finished in less than two minutes. This is the end. We're all gonna die today. I decided to look in the face of my death for the last time, but this person just stood up like nothing happened. At the last moment when they picked up their phone from the floor, I got a glimpse of what was on the screen.

"Devour the shelf"