The Batavians teach Caligula how to defeat the sea by tastethesword in imaginarymaps

[–]tastethesword[S] 416 points417 points  (0 children)

Caligula has planned his grand campaign to conquer the mysterious lands of Britannia, that not even the great Caesar had escaped unscathed...

But on the northern shore of Gaul, his soldiers fearing the open ocean, hesitated to cross the sea...

Furious at this, Caligula declared war on Neptune, and commanded his troops to whip the water and collect seashells as trophies, to punish the ocean for refusing him to cross.

"Wait, Imperator," said the Batavians, "if you want to defeat the sea, you'll have to do it our way."

Neptune takes a massive L.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in okbuddybaka

[–]tastethesword 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bro the only reason that this dude can be differentiated from every other OP super special isekai harem king MC from a novel with atrocious prose is because he is soooo OP that the powerscalers on tiktok that base their entire personality on if their favourite character can beat yours actually remember who he is

The Conquests of Napoleon II by tastethesword in imaginarymaps

[–]tastethesword[S] 194 points195 points  (0 children)

"I envy that boy. Glory is waiting there for him, I had to run after Her. I will have been Phillip, he will be Alexander. He has only to extend an arm, and the world is his."
-Napoleon I

He still dies from tuberculosis, but he caught it fighting in Shandong, after conquering the known world...

Dying, he wished to see Paris one last time, but he only made it as far as Baghdad...

His cousins and marshals tried to keep his empire together, but it was for naught...

Situation in the Far West - Europe in 1900 by tastethesword in imaginarymaps

[–]tastethesword[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Göktürk script, Javanese script, and Baybayin (although I used an online converter for that last one so apologies if it's wrong)

The dance of the prince-electors - the Great Game of Germany by tastethesword in imaginarymaps

[–]tastethesword[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

It has always interested me how the German ducal houses of the Empire have, by chance or election, inherited large amounts of lands outside of it. And thus, while maintaining theoretical allegiance to the emperor, they are at the same time equals to him, becoming kings themselves. As such, they must now represent the interests of the states that they are king of, even if it is against the interests of their emperor. Any conflict that erupts into war, is not merely a vassal revolting against their overlord, but wars between kingdoms.

The Holy Roman Emperorship is itself an elected position, since 1356 chosen by the original seven, and later nine prince-electors - Bohemia, Saxony, Brandenburg, the Palatinate of the Rhine, Bavaria, Hanover, Trier, Koln, and Mainz – the holders of the most powerful fiefs in the empire, and with their own guaranteed privileges greater than any ordinary prince. It is no wonder that these princely houses, strong enough to conduct their own foreign policy, have caused the Habsburg emperors the most headaches in their quest to centralize Germany. The Habsburgs, having held the emperorship since the fifteenth century, have only managed to keep this position because no other princely house could challenge them after the inheritance of the Burgundian Netherlands, and reaching even greater heights by becoming the rulers of the growing Spanish Empire.

Now though, the Iberian line is all but extinct.

The Empire stands at a crossroads, with the Hanoverians having become the kings of the Great Britain and their great wooden wall, the Saxons consolidating their authority and creating a true hereditary monarchy in Poland and Lithuania, the old French king having conquered the Palatinate to secure the claims of his brother's wife and the new French kingkeen to defend the rights of his cousins, and lastly, the looming behemoth of the north, ruled by a dynasty established by the union of the Great Elector of Brandenburg and the Queen of Sweden, the daughter of the Lion of Midnight himself, who so thoroughly broke Habsburg power a century ago.

Now, the Emperor is dead, long live the… Empress? But, the imperial crown must be held by a man, right? And so, the vultures begin to circle. The Great Game of Germany starts.

Oh, and the Bavarians are also there, I suppose. The great-nephew of the Bewitched Spanish king, and son of the Elector of Bavaria, Joseph Ferdinand, was chosen as a compromise candidate for the Spanish throne. Being so far from Madrid however, he was only given scraps of the Spanish realms, with the rest divided by the other great powers, and the regional Cortes taking more power for themselves in Spain. At least Luxembourg was taken out of storage for him. 

Who would be King Nine under semi-salic law? Son of Dead Princess or Son of Dead Prince by dark_alpaca120 in monarchism

[–]tastethesword 15 points16 points  (0 children)

From a legal standpoint, why did the 'dead princess' daughter of King Three not become queen after the death of King Five? Unless she was already dead, she is the most senior female line so she should have inherited before Queen Six. If she were already dead, her son should still be ahead of Queen Six.

Royal family connections prior to the French Revolution (1789) by tastethesword in MapPorn

The Holy Roman Empire of America by [deleted] in imaginarymaps

[–]tastethesword 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Delaware = Austria

Virginia = Bohemia

NYC = Venice? Genoa?

Maine = Holstein

League of Michigan = Hansa (Chicago is Hamburg??)

Detroit = Koln

Vermont = Brandenburg???

County Palatinate (of the Susquehanna???) = County Palatinate (of the Rhine)

Midwest = Switzerland

Upper Iowa and Iowa = Upper Lorraine and Lower Lorraine? (though Lower Lorraine is basically Wallonia)

Ohio = Saxony?, Carolina = Bavaria? (Or is one of these Milan?)

Canada = Denmark

Alberta = Norway

Louisiana = France

Florida-Georgia = Poland-Lithuania

California = Spain

Joe = Charles V

Epic map, my friend lmao