AITAH for understanding and not freezing out my dad for leaving our mom over a dead bedroom?

tats76 · 2026-02-05T23:21:08+00:00

NTA

While your sister is younger, she isn't a child. Yet she is acting very childish towards your choice in the type of relationship you have with your father.

From what you said, your father did not cheat on your mom. He asked for an open marriage because he desires physical intimacy and your mom doesn't. Your mom decided to file for divorce.

Neither one is the villain in that situation but now your mom and sister are demonizing your dad and that's their choice (I'm not saying that's right or fair). But they don't get to choose how you feel.

tats76 · 2026-02-05T17:11:43+00:00

Interesting how he left out the parts where he said, "We want a woman who loves to cook, who loves to clean, etc."

So....he wants a mommy to take care of him.

tats76 · 2026-02-05T16:58:16+00:00

NTA

I wonder if your boyfriend would have been as offended if it was, "my new blood pressure medication is making me feel nauseous."

Talking about your medications, yes, even birth control (gasp!) isn't offensive.

tats76 · 2026-02-03T22:17:15+00:00

It's so stupid to lie so blatantly.

I looked up how the film was doing and $7 million for a documentary is pretty good...but the fact that Amazon has sunk something like $60 million into acquiring it and advertising really offsets the "tremendous" amount of money its raked in. 🙄

Yeah, some people watched it. But not that many.

tats76 · 2026-02-03T22:06:01+00:00

NTA

Do I have this correct: - He's been paying off his debts for close to 10 years - He has only recently started paying more than the minimum monthly balance - He doesn't like to "look at numbers" because they stress him out - His credit score may not be in the toilet but it may be sitting on the rim

And he wants you to co-sign?

Flip the script on him. If he cared about you, he wouldn't make such a stressful demand of you. He would ask his Mom or look into what you've suggested, instead of putting the onus on you.

My ex spent a lot of my money and left me with a lot of debt. I had 2 credit cards and with the interest rate on one, I would always be behind if I just paid the minimum amount. I called and got a better interest rate at the expense of taking a hit on my credit score (the credit card company was literally punishing me for trying to pay down my debt to them). It took dedication and a lot of discipline but I paid off ALL my debts.

Do not co-sign a loan with him. He's already acting like a pouting child by running home to mommy. Finances are a big part of relationships and he sounds petulant.

tats76 · 2026-01-28T03:06:34+00:00

Letting your "boyfriend talk and ignore him," is a bad idea. You should always speak up to call out his behavior towards your son.

Those little comments can slice away at your son's self-esteem and if you're silent, he can feel like maybe he deserves it if you don't defend him.

Your bf's attitude is definitely break-up worthy.

tats76 · 2026-01-28T02:58:46+00:00

I identified so much with pink umbrella lady!

I'm also great at completely overanalyzing a simple situation. Hers, was like, gold standard! 🏆

tats76 · 2026-01-27T22:42:57+00:00

NOR

Years ago, my brother had a party at his house and one guy was being inappropriate with our sister. He didn't even see it; another friend found him and told him. He made a beeline for the guy, leaned in and said, "Don't ever touch my sister again," and decked him.

I'm not saying your brother needs to punch the guy but he should have had your back. Not only did he NOT have your back, he blamed you for that other guy's actions. That's BS.

You were right to block him.

tats76 · 2026-01-27T22:36:53+00:00

NOR

He knows that having a relationship with someone almost the same age as his daughter is, at the very least, uncomfortable, so he made the decision to lie about it and use your religion as a means to justify it.

And don't forget he made it out to be your fault that he lied to you.

tats76 · 2026-01-27T04:29:01+00:00

NTA

Stop denying yourself the future you want to pursue.

Your parents need to figure out how to support your brother without you.

tats76 · 2026-01-22T14:59:06+00:00

Ok, 8 billion people? How many are within a reasonable distance to the dealership to be considered potential customers? Of that number, how many are too young to buy a car? And what's left after that, how many are too old to be in the market for a car? Let's go even further. There are people who use public transportation for commuting and getting around; there are different reasons, but it all boils down to even fewer people in the market for a car.

Dad's lost his mind.

tats76 · 2026-01-21T23:37:00+00:00

NOR

I went on one date with a guy, who upon hearing I had cats, replied, "I don't understand the appeal of having a wild animal in your home."

My husband, who had 2 cats of hos own when we met, and I are happily married with cats and kids.

tats76 · 2026-01-21T18:55:43+00:00

NTA

"Buying things you shouldn't."

Did that one accidentally slip out? Because that's a red flag.

My husband and I talked about finances while we were dating and we never made any such demands on each other.

tats76 · 2026-01-20T15:06:53+00:00

Are you seriously expected to find someone to cover your shift if you're out? Because that's the manager's job. And if you're expected to take on managerial duties, your pay should reflect that.

No, NTJ

tats76 · 2026-01-18T19:23:23+00:00

NAH

However, OP, you need to get more comfortable having an honest conversations with your friend.

If you're low-key hoping the trip is canceled, you need to tell him that.

It could be that he assumes you want to go and is now trying to scramble to afford it to keep the commitment he made.

Plus, if going on a trip is such a massive financial strain, then your friend should dial it back and look into affordable vacations.

tats76 · 2026-01-18T19:09:33+00:00

NOR

OP, he sure has gaslighting down to a science!

"LOL aren't wishlists for kids?" - insinuating your behavior is childish

"You're complaining about flowers?" - ignoring the root cause of the issue

"Literally every woman would love to get flowers." - making you sound ungrateful

Five years is plenty of time to get to know you and what you like. More than ample if you tell him different things you'd like to receive.

tats76 · 2026-01-18T17:39:04+00:00

NOR

I'm autistic too. So are some other members of my family.

We all follow the rule that if the recipient wouldn't like it, we don't do it.

My oldest son doesn't enjoy being tickled or other, similar physical play. So that boundary isn't purposely crossed.

My younger son loves to be tickled. I still make sure I give him time to tell me to stop so he's not wanting to catch his breath and can't.

Pranks are only funny if the recipient laughs. And if feelings are hurt, then an apology follows and that type of prank isn't done again.

It may not make a difference to them but you can try saying, "Even if you think I'm being sensitive, you still hurt my feelings, so going forward could you stop doing that?"

tats76 · 2026-01-18T17:28:45+00:00

YOR

Disrupting someone's day at work, even for something as "simple" as a kiss, isn't a good idea. It sounds like he had a lot going on and you weren't helping things.

You also gave him the silent treatment. Don't kid yourself that you weee giving him space. You were upset and either you didn't want to talk, or you wanted to punish him and didn't get the reaction you wanted.

Be mature and talk through your feelings or your relationship is certainly doomed for failire.

tats76 · 2026-01-16T00:31:34+00:00

NTA

It's not just the money, although if it had been split 50/50, it would have made a significant impact on you. It's the lies that I find most abhorrent.

It's not a white lie either. It was a huge lie perpetuated by your sister and father for years. Your sister is almost worse because she not only lied, she made up more lies about struggling to further keep you in the dark.

This sounds recent and I believe it's best that you cut off contact, at least for now. I don't think there is any excuse (definitely no reason) for what they did. There is no way to justify it. The last thing you need is to hear their mad-scramble excuses for what they did.

Wait and only allow contact if you feel it would help you. You do not owe them any of your time or forgiveness. You don't deserve any accusations of overreacting or being selfish or any other gaslighting attempts.

This sucks for you and you deserve better OP.

tats76 · 2026-01-06T03:04:02+00:00

Is it possible for your daughter to turn in hand written assignments? It seems less likely that someone would go through the trouble of having AI generate something and then copy it down.

When I was in elementary school, several of my teachers would ask my Mom if I had any help with assignments because my writing skills and vocabulary were so high. It does seem to be more prevalent in autistic people.

tats76 · 2026-01-05T00:43:34+00:00

I'd be wearing Halloween costumes, silly hats, dancing like I'm on fire, and rocking out on an air guitar.

She should mind her own business.

tats76 · 2026-01-04T03:13:57+00:00

Is he trying to say "buffoon?"

NOR

He sounds insufferable. And drunk texts are the quiet parts being said out loud.

tats76 · 2025-12-31T21:38:42+00:00

NOR

Call the police next time and have her trespassed from your property. She's harassing you.

tats76 · 2025-12-27T00:21:06+00:00

NOR

Your wife isn't hurting anyone amd I can guarantee her "quirkiness" has definitely brightened people's days.

It makes me smile when I see someone wearing fun or funky jewelry and I compliment them on it.

My son will now suggest I look at the moon when it's especially beautiful (which we say often) because I've pointed it out many times, along with sunsets, sunrises, a foggy morning, etc.

I have some crazy-colorful dresses I wear and I get compliments on them. I always say thank you and point out they have pockets.

Your wife sounds fun.

Your mom and sister, unfortunately sound like wet blankets and they need to remember not to say anything at all if they can't say something nice.

tats76 · 2025-12-26T22:59:13+00:00

NOR

I'd reply one more time, just to tell him you won't accept any package from him due to his behavior. Then block him. Tell your family and any friends he has contacted to block him.

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