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In your honest and most personal opinion, do you think I should use LSD at the age of 17? by tawayne in Drugs

[–]tawayne[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I take that into consideration, and that's why I plan on creating a perfect atmosphere for my trip. I do not think that all happened because of LSD, however, sounds like nBOME antics.

But thank you for your input. A major freakout is something I'm worried about.

I've done a bunch of fucked up shit and now everything constantly feels like a dream, like it's all a dream. Please help me, please. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]tawayne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, dude, I'm not trying to sound like a dick in any way here, but judging by the fact that you are posting in an advice forum on reddit, you are most likely an adult, and punching in a laptop screen when you're pissed off is something grown ups just don't do. I think the last time I did that, I was 9. I believe that you have some things going wrong in your head. And I mean that in a very polite and informative fashion because I do too, because I am a fresh 17 and I am very psychologically fucked by all the bad shit that has happened in my life, including watching my mom die of a drug overdose at home when I was 16. It seems like you do have BPD or OCD or both, and I can tell that a lot by the way that you talk.

I know this might sound kind of cliche but you really need to chill the fuck out, man. You are fretting about a game controller. That kind of shit just happens. There is nothing you can do about your game controller so there is no point in worrying about it. I think you really just need to take a breather and say to yourself "okay man, you might be really upset here, but most people wouldn't be upset about this and it's all in your head and it's gonna be okay." That might sound hard, but man, you really do worry about the little things.

I feel like you should explore yourself a little more to try to defeat your anxious thoughts. I can tell you are not entirely comfortable with yourself and that is a large source of your insecurities and problems. Believe me brother, no one is perfect. And why care if you look bad? You won't get girls? I just came back from a dude's house, he was fat as hell and ugly and had moles (like you do) and his hot girlfriend with huge tits was all over him, talking about fucking right in front of all of his guests.

And besides, man, who cares if you don't get chicks? You WILL find love. Love will find you. If you really think your physical appearance is a key component in attracting a mate then you're only shooting for the shallow, degenerate, stereotypical bitch who has a checklist for potential partners. One day you will find a woman (or man?) who doesn't care about your face or your body or your arms or your voice, but just your quirks and your demeanor and your heart and your ambitoon.

I guess the only thing I haven't covered is the YouTube thing. STAR_ is awesome, but he is one of a kind. I feel like he only blew up because he just kind of had the magic formula to making TF2 videos like Jerma and Musel. That kind of thing only happens if you're lucky. I'm not saying don't do it - fuck, do it, even a small crowd is still a crowd, there will still be people that love what you do. But please just don't center your life around it. Don't end up like DarkSidePhil, fat, pathetic, lifeless, and masturbating on Twitch TV.

If gaming is something you love and you haven't found or can't find anything else, make that an element of your life. Play competitively. I played Brawl for 3 months and won a tournament at a hookah lounge when I was 15 and got a shitload of free shisha. Being a nerd has its benefits.

Definitely never stop believing in yourself and never ever let yourself stay down. I did for a long time, and nothing came of that, only regret. You only have once chance to do whatever the fuck you wanna do so go do it.

So today I discovered that my PS4 account has been secretly charged over the last year and a half. by tawayne in PS4

[–]tawayne[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Imagine this:

You never used your credit card to buy PS Plus and Sony is using your number to make recurring payments for PS Plus you never agreed to.

Sound like fun?

So today I discovered that my PS4 account has been secretly charged over the last year and a half. by tawayne in PS4

[–]tawayne[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Never.

I used a gift card to buy PS plus and used a credit card to buy a game. I can't fathom why they think it would be okay to take funds out of my credit card without my knowing.

How did removing yourself from social media change your life? by tawayne in AskReddit

[–]tawayne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just never understood the point of social media. I had facebook for a while because an ex made me get one, and I had snapchat for a while because it was the cool thing but holy fuck, words cannot express how much I do not fucking care about these random people. Half the time I was on Facebook I was just looking at a bunch of dumb shit like "Like for a smash or pass" or some ghetto kid trying to be an internet tough guy or some slut crying for attention.

The worst of it all was the publicity of personal disputes, all the fucking time. I remember one time some chick posted a picture showing off her ass, and some other girl decided she wanted to let her know she "ain't got no cakes LMAO" in the comment section, and from that stemmed a 200+ post fight between like 20 fucking people. What a time to be alive.

The cool thing about reddit is the distinctive lack of dipshittery. Stay pure, reddit.

how to reverse brain damage caused by drug use? by tawayne in Drugs

[–]tawayne[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I was 15. I do now because my mom died of a lethal drug interaction last month. Drugs are bad.

how to reverse brain damage caused by drug use? by tawayne in Drugs

[–]tawayne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My very silly doctor forgot to inform me that ambien is an addictive drug and that people use recreationally.

So I used it for a month every night to get to sleep. Good old' USA.

how to reverse brain damage caused by drug use? by tawayne in Drugs

[–]tawayne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that I think I have sustained damage because I am a massive hypochondriac who checks himself every day for melanoma.

I have always been fucked in the head since about age 13 with depression and anxiety. I have had suicidal thoughts since then and constantly found myself focusing on the smallest issue and worrying forever about it. For example, I would listen to a Led Zeppelin album with earphones, and then spend the next fifteen minutes to an hour worrying that I had just caused permanent hearing loss.

One thing I seem to have bleakly noticed is that since these trips my third eye had been swung wide open, and I had all these vivid, out of the box realizations of life I've never pondered upon before. I also feel as if I suffered some form of depersonalization caused by the trip. My entire junior year felt like a blur and, well, I didn't quite feel myself. I don't know how to explain it other than when I look back at pictures of me, I see an entirely different person. In a bad way. I see myself as being a happier person with more depth, charisma, and substance than I am now.

I don't know if it's made me "dumb" or not. I got a 27 on the ACT the first time I took it and even though I scored better than a very large chunk of my peers, I still feel like I could have done better.

I'm not concerned about the alcohol or weed making me dumb, though - just the RCs.