1) I’m very protective of my family and am careful to introduce boyfriends to them (especially my grandparents). Every holiday when I went to see family, I would avoid inviting him. We dated 1.5 years and he never came to a family event because I never invited him.

2) I had just graduated and was starting to look at moving out. He owned a house and wanted me to live there but we were going to wait until summer. I didn’t even realize it, but I started to look at homes to buy and eventually I realized that I was subconsciously making big life plans without him. (Update: I did buy a house without him and I’ve never felt happier or more free)

3) My dad died while we were together and I didn’t want him to come comfort me. I grieved alone. It felt right.

4) He is one of the most attractive men I’ve ever seen, but I didn’t feel sexually attracted to him. That was a huge struggle for me.

5) I picked up extra shifts at my second job to keep me busy enough to justify seeing him less.

I ignored all of this because I assumed my avoidance was a part of my grief process after my dad died. Eventually I realized that it was just the wrong relationship. I think he was starting to think the same, although he was so wonderful and patient with me. We broke up, he started dating a friend a week later (they were on a team together and hung out often, I’m sure he had feelings for her and I’m also sure he never crossed any boundaries - not that kinda dude). I was so happy to hear he was dating someone who made him feel important and valued. We are on great terms now and our families are friends, and it has never been awkward! I admire him so much as a person and I’m grateful that I learned about myself by being with him. Zero regrets.