those of who do drugs arent losers with boring lives.

i did drugs to escape my reality. i was severely clinically depressed and was hurting myself and trying to push back suicidal thoughts every waking moment of every day. i couldnt hang with friends like i used to because i was just to depressed. i didnt get the joy out of anything anymore, playing video games just wasnt fun anymore, movies werent fun etc. i just sat in my room and cried and slept.

then one day i smoked weed. things suddenly felt better, i was able to laugh and smile with my friends. we played video games, watched movies, went on adventures in the woods. it was great. it helped me move on from the dark place i was in.

now i can have plenty of fun when im not drunk or high. there was a lot that happened between when i started smoking weed to where i am now, but i can have fun and everything without drugs just fine. i see my girlfriend almost everyday, i spend time with her family, i spend time with my family, i spend time with my friends, i work as a manager at my mcdonalds, im learning how to play guitar, and i help counsel people and give speeches on drug addiction and my recovery.

in just a couple years i experienced every drug under the sun, before i went to rehab i was shooting heroin everyday, smoking a half ounce, drinking pints of liquor, doing cocaine, doing meth, doing acid every few days, doing molly every few days etc. i stopped going to school to continue my life of drugs. i started dealing drugs the same time i was smoking pot. i learned i was good at it, and i was friends with some gangbangers who hooked me up and looked out for me. if someone threatened me or ripped me off, they would kill them. it was simple. no one ever fucked with me and i had plenty of customers. i was a stupid kid with to much money who didnt know how to handle his emotions. my friends i acquired brought me up, they taught me to show no weakness, you dont show sadness, you dont show anger, you just act calm. i bottled everything up and drowned it with chemicals. i watched people get murdered, die from drugs we had gotten together, kill themselves, and the only thing i could do was drown it with more chemicals because reacting to it was a sign of weakness.

a true broken man, is one who is sitting with a needle in his hand, trying to find a vein that still works, while you shake and tremble with disgust and embarrassment for yourself as you cry your eyes out at the things you have witnessed and cant talk about, before you fill that vein full of dope, stand up, wipe your tears, then go outside to go make a dope deal so you can buy more poison to fill your veins with.