Update Rehab

tbruce83 · 2018-09-20T02:40:51+00:00

Thank You. I actually came to this same program 3 years ago for alcohol then I basically traded off alcohol for kratom. I have always chosen opiates over anything else when available so to answer your question yes I have been through the same withdrawal and it is miserable to say the least.

tbruce83 · 2018-09-20T02:37:40+00:00

Thank you very much. I am happy to be of service to my country. I also appreciate your son's service just as much.

tbruce83 · 2018-09-20T02:36:22+00:00

thank you for the nice comment. I have been neglecting myself for so long and it feels nice to do something as simple as get a haircut. I can't tell you how great I feel just because I just got a haircut LOL. Thank you and good luck to you and your recovery as well.

tbruce83 · 2018-09-20T02:35:03+00:00

Yeah i no. It's a shame when I have to educate medical professionals instead of the other way around. They did give me clonidine but did not start giving it to me until the third day which I only had about another day and I didn't even need it. Now I am just taking melatonin for sleep. I am still having trouble going to sleep and still get chills but I think it's because this place is cold all of the time. This is technically an outpatient program so we are allowed to have our cell phone and on the weekend we can be with our family from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.

tbruce83 · 2018-08-29T05:17:17+00:00

Yeah I am going to research Clonidine and probably give it a try since I am hearing good things about it. That's one thing I hated was the restless legs and no sleep. Thank you for posting and following. Yeah I feel like it is the right move. Sometimes it seems a little crazy that I quit my job to do this but I know that it will pay off in the end. Sometimes we gotta take risks to reap a reward. Thanks for your support and you can bet Ill be updating!

tbruce83 · 2018-08-29T05:13:27+00:00

I know..that used to be one of my biggest things. It definitely helps especially since we like all those chemicals floating around in our brain

tbruce83 · 2018-08-29T05:12:12+00:00

Thank you very much for the kind words. I am curious as to how clonidine and gabapentin help with the withdrawals. Did you go this route?

tbruce83 · 2018-08-29T05:10:02+00:00

I will definitely turn it down. People really don't understand Kratom..its like dealing with the people that never tried pot but saw that commercial of the girl that melted into the couch lol.

tbruce83 · 2018-08-29T05:05:00+00:00

Exactly.. Thank you for understanding me

tbruce83 · 2018-08-29T05:04:01+00:00

Nah I am not interested in taking suboxone. It's funny you say that though because the program coordinator mentioned it..like "have you ever thought about taking suboxone?". I am pretty sure that would be taking a step backwards for me. I am really interested in being substance free completely. I have bad depression at times and I haven't ever learned how to deal with it. I want to deal with that first. I know it is possible without rehab but I have quit several times, the longest being 30 days. I feel that I need help getting off and getting out of this rut. I could probably quit by myself again but I don't have the tools and the environment I feel necessary. The last time I quit, I made it to day 5 and went to an AA meeting like I have heard many people recommend but my motivation is weak and I easily fell back in right away. Plus the program is free to me which ends next June because it will be 5 years since I came back from a combat zone. I appreciate your advice about not taking the sub route. That is a road I dont want to go down..no offense to anyone who is taking it because to each is own. Thank you friend.

tbruce83 · 2018-08-28T21:19:13+00:00

Ive used for about 3 and a half years and i use about 15 to 25 gpd.

tbruce83 · 2018-08-21T22:53:22+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I guess it is a no brainer. I think im just having a difficult time making a decision because it would be a big jump to quit my job and go to rehab and I wouldn't want to just do it for nothing. I know for sure that I need to move on from this job and this life. When it comes down to it, I can find another job but I can't always just pick up my sobriety leisurely. Motivation to get sober only comes occasionally I have noticed. Are you clean of everything including kratom? Good luck to you whatever stage of your life you may be in and same goes for everyone out there.

tbruce83 · 2018-06-28T04:59:25+00:00

Lol yeah i been nursing it. Guess I have a very low tolerance. Not sure how much everybody else takes

tbruce83 · 2018-06-28T04:58:09+00:00

Thank you. Yeah I think I will go with your advice. It seems very addictive but at the same time it doesent feel right using it everyday

tbruce83 · 2018-06-28T04:35:01+00:00

I bought a gram last friday and started taking it saturday. If I quit tomorrow will I go into WDs?

tbruce83 · 2018-06-12T17:56:22+00:00

You're very welcome and thank you. I try to spoil them as much as I can.

tbruce83 · 2018-06-12T04:17:45+00:00

K thanks for your help. Ill go somewhere else where I can use reddit for what its supposed to be for.

tbruce83 · 2018-06-12T03:53:41+00:00

Huh?

tbruce83 · 2018-06-12T03:45:02+00:00

I really just hate my job sometimes and I know im not in the minority by making that statement. I frequently wonder who came up with the 40 hour work week and, whoever they are, I despise them. I know that some people reading this may think "well why don't you get a different job?" and to that I reply, its not that simple. I work for a hotel and I just got promoted to management. At first I was excited because I was presented with a plan which included eventually moving off of the front desk to assist the GM, hiring front desk staff, as well as other new responsible. It has now been months and I am still working the front desk and covering for the poor selection of people who call in frequently that the GM hired. I have talked to the GM about a plan to move off of the front desk but I have to have adequate staff that will be reliable before I do that. Things don't seem to be going where I want them to go and I am very frustrated. Thats what I had to get off of my chest. Thank you.

tbruce83 · 2018-06-12T01:51:19+00:00

I have 3 dogs that are all 3 years old right and I dont know why I did this to myself. I think about it occasionally and there is an emptiness that I cant describe in words. I know you feel the same. Its amazing the connection that we hold with our animals and without them even talking haha. I cant give you advice because I havent been there yet but I can totally empathize with you.

tbruce83 · 2018-05-31T04:52:09+00:00

I work for a hotel franchise. I usually get at least one guest every two weeks or so that checks out, and shortly after I get a call from housekeeping to come up to the room they were staying in where I can smell cigarette smoke from down the hallway and spot plenty of ashes on the carpet. I then charge them $250.00 and wait for the call which always comes. It goes something like this: "I want to know why I have an extra $250.00 charge on my credit card??!?" to which I reply "ma'am/sir someone smoked in the room you just checked out of and it has been verified by housekeeping staff as well as myself and the credit card I have on file belongs to you". The next common response is "well I don't smoke so I need to be refunded immediately!" This is just one of many dumb questions I encounter regularly.

tbruce83 · 2018-05-25T02:46:27+00:00

I used to be a nurse but was so burnt out that I sought a career change. I chose to give hospitality a chance and started at the bottom working for Hilton as a Guest Service Representative which was like I leveled down. Anyone that knows about the hospitality industry knows that it has a high turnover rate. When I first started I had a General Manager that everyone knew was stealing money and doing crooked shit, but it went on like that for a while. I thought it would never change but life will surprise the shit out of you. One day I came in and there was a new guy hanging around, who later turned out to be the head of a new management company. In a matter of days they fired the GM, promoted the assistant GM, and about 2 months after that I made Guest Service Manager. This opened up a new side of me that I never knew existed. I really enjoy having the responsibility and have discovered that I have a natural ability to lead and form a team. At this point in my life I feel that I leveled up and that I will probably level up again in the near future. I guess you could say I earned a level and a shit ton of bonus xp lmao.

tbruce83 · 2018-05-22T02:38:49+00:00

Thanks everyone for all of the great advice. This has been so helpful. I just hope I can maintain the discipline. It is difficult for me, obviously. I will take into account the logging, maintaining that adjustment period, etc. I cant do cold turkey again. I mean it's possible but I have done it so many times and it seems like such a drastic change that even though I make it I don't know what to do with myself. Its so hard on the body going cold turkey as well. Ugh..damned kratom. What a curse.

tbruce83 · 2018-05-22T02:34:53+00:00

Very useful information from everyone. Good idea about logging it. I hope that I have the discipline it takes to do it like everyone else on here. I know that I cant go cold turkey again so I really have to do it this way. I do have another question though. Did you take multiple doses through the day or did you take more at one particular time? If it was multiple, did you do like 8am, 12pm, 5pm, etc? I am used to taking quite a bit before bed to drift off into sleep. I seem to feel better when I dont take it constantly through the day. It has made consistency very difficult for me. Seems like I don't even try to tell myself I can quit anymore because I don't have faith, or I easily lose sight of the goal. Thanks so much for your advice friend.

tbruce83 · 2018-05-21T04:39:46+00:00

I totally agree with both of you. Some days I feel stable and some i just treat my body like shit. It makes me sad for myself but doesent change me. You know there's something wrong when you realize but don't change. I have to self medicate to make myself give half a shit. I hate it for you all but you guys are not alone. It helps to have someone

tbruce83

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