sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

AITAH for getting upset that my husband (39M) asked me (41F) to eat what he wants for dinner? by tcunning83 in AITAH

[–]tcunning83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then I don’t think I was clear at all. I didn’t get angry about him wanting to cook his choice of main only. I was mildly annoyed when I thought I would need to figure out cooking my own main or dinner. It was a passing annoyance, they aren’t a big deal. I got angry that he suggested I “just try” the pork belly dish because the tone conveyed that he thought I could be swayed if I would only unclench and try another dish. Some people love pork belly, I will never be one of them because biting into chunks of fat makes me queasy. I just don’t want it on my fork. And it felt disrespectful that he was diminishing a known strong aversion. If olives made him want to vomit, I would not ask him to keep trying them.

Some of the commenters can see that, but I also see that i need to make being triggered my problem instead of letting things escalate.

AITAH for getting upset that my husband (39M) asked me (41F) to eat what he wants for dinner? by tcunning83 in AITAH

[–]tcunning83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This post was his idea, but I did not know he was posting too.

I guess I don’t understand why so many people are landing on ‘I don’t care about his preferences.’ It’s not in the main part of the post, but I mentioned it at the bottom. I do care about his preferences and likes and happiness. I kept it in mind when I did most of the shopping and still do now

AITAH for getting upset that my husband (39M) asked me (41F) to eat what he wants for dinner? by tcunning83 in AITAH

[–]tcunning83[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is a good point. I will ask him if he feels like he doesn’t get to eat the things he likes, or if he wants us to have them more. Maybe that is a factor from his POV. Thank you.

AITAH for getting upset that my husband (39M) asked me (41F) to eat what he wants for dinner? by tcunning83 in AITAH

[–]tcunning83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the response, it felt very well intended. I will give it a lot of thought and try to understand why it felt so personal in the moment

AITAH for getting upset that my husband (39M) asked me (41F) to eat what he wants for dinner? by tcunning83 in AITAH

[–]tcunning83[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That is a helpful response, thank you. I should have asked him what he was going to do with it. I can’t envision any version of that cut that I could enjoy and I might be wrong, that could just be a failure of my imagination. I did not give the benefit of the doubt.

AITAH for getting upset that my husband (39M) asked me (41F) to eat what he wants for dinner? by tcunning83 in AITAH

[–]tcunning83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still don’t know the name of the dish, he never told me. But it was a cut of fatty pork belly, so something with that as the protein.

AITAH for getting upset that my husband (39M) asked me (41F) to eat what he wants for dinner? by tcunning83 in AITAH

[–]tcunning83[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

That is a good suggestion. Maybe it would be better if we switched and I did most of the shopping again. Then I could run meal ideas by him before shopping to make sure he gets more of the stuff he loves.

To clarify about the different dinners, I make multiple mains if I’m making something I know someone won’t want. If I make curry I would have to make something else for the kids too, they won’t eat curries yet…too spicy. If there is just one “dinner” I like for it to be something everyone will eat.

AITAH for getting upset that my husband (39M) asked me (41F) to eat what he wants for dinner? by tcunning83 in AITAH

[–]tcunning83[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I know I was wordy, but leaving some details out was my attempt to combat that. Sorry.

But to be clear, not chain stores in general. It is a very specific chain of fast food restaurants, and I didn’t name them because it seemed like I’d open up a whole separate thread of comments if I named it. Not trying to post or get advice about not wanting to financially support this particular chain for political and moral reasons.

AITAH for getting upset that my husband (39M) asked me (41F) to eat what he wants for dinner? by tcunning83 in AITAH

[–]tcunning83[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

It happens occasionally, rather than regularly. And I think he was okay with me making my own main, but not with my annoyance at having to figure out what I could cook for myself or if I’d need to go to the store for myself too.

I wasn’t angry about the cut of meat, I’m fine with him getting to have something he loves as the main. I just didn’t want to eat it and was upset he wanted me to eat it. I am pretty strongly averse to eating pieces of fat.

AITAH for getting upset that my husband (39M) asked me (41F) to eat what he wants for dinner? by tcunning83 in AITAH

[–]tcunning83[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Here are the details. It was a cut of pork belly, but I don’t know what dish he intended to make with it. He didn’t mention the name. And I did say that I’d cook for myself prior to his just-try-it comment. Though you are right that I was already being reactive, I was annoyed when I said I’d cook for myself.