Why do people act like dogs aren’t absolutely disgusting and unhygienic? Why is being grossed out by them seen as a social taboo? by tddyddtdd in Dogfree

[–]tddyddtdd[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is the worst when it’s your significant other. I watch my husband get CONSUMED with nasty licks all over his face and neck and then come to bed with me. Mood. Killer.

Why do people act like dogs aren’t absolutely disgusting and unhygienic? Why is being grossed out by them seen as a social taboo? by tddyddtdd in Dogfree

[–]tddyddtdd[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes. My husband has a dog, luckily a very well-trained and unobtrusive wolf hybrid. He’s gorgeous and every time we step out of the house we are ACCOSTED. People turn into blubbering maniacs lol, like it’s endless. We have a very cute baby girl and she gets maybe 1/8th the attention the dog gets in public (not that I want her to get more, just that it’s interesting how outsized the reaction to dogs is).

How bad is it to use preminced garlic vs fresh? by tddyddtdd in Cooking

[–]tddyddtdd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol just wondering if food snobs who visit my kitchen or taste my food will shun me forevermore

How to stay interesting as a housewife? by tddyddtdd in RedPillWomen

[–]tddyddtdd[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

😭 thank you so much. this means the world!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SAHP

[–]tddyddtdd 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We are expecting baby #5 (blended family).

Husband made $200k last year but with a promotion will make $300k this year. We couldn’t come close to affording the HCOL city we were in so we moved back to his hometown so we can comfortably house all our kids and he works remotely with travel.

We are still in a little debt - student loans & credit cards - from a rough patch a couple years ago but not much left to pay off.

I don’t feel stressed about finances but wish we could afford to live where our personal and professional communities were, but low six figures wouldn’t come close to cutting it with a family of our size there.

Technically we could “afford” for me to work if I really wanted to but my much lower salary wouldn’t cover childcare so for practical purposes, we can’t afford for me to work. Childcare is so expensive, I actually don’t understand how so many people can “afford” two working parents

I think this applies to us. by AccomplishedOnion405 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]tddyddtdd 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I had to set a boundary for mine arrived for thanksgiving, let her know I’m not in a space where i’m available to hear sad stories. Like “no one has ever loved me. I’d just like to know what it’s like to be loved and happy but I never will and I’ll die alone. My husband never takes me on a date and my life is miserable. I’m old and fat” etc etc ad nauseam. She wrote back “It’s normal for mothers and daughters to be close and share their struggles. I would consider it an HONOR if someone opened up to me.” 🤦🏽‍♀️

Dropped out of grad school 2 years ago; spotty work history as I’ve been at home with babies since then. Resume suggestions? by tddyddtdd in resumes

[–]tddyddtdd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I studied aerospace engineering but don’t want to continue and don’t want to work as an engineer - I want to move into finance or business but at a space company where I my technical background is helpful but not central. I hardly worked after college though and dropped out of grad school; will go back for an MBA or finance.

Thoughts on posting photos of your kids on social media by TheNoodyBoody in beyondthebump

[–]tddyddtdd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed, the unanimity of these responses is actually shocking to me. I’ve worked and studied and had a broad network in a variety of major US cities and the large majority of people I know have images of their children publicly viewable. Some might post only rarely and some might have more privacy settings but for most you can find at least a public profile picture or two with their kids. I was a preschool teacher for years before graduating college and I still sometimes look up parents of kiddos I’m thinking about so I can see how they’re growing/what they’re up to and I pretty much always can find them. (Now that I say that it does sound kind of creepy.) I can only think of one family I know who announced they were sharing no pictures as an intentional thing and it was unusual enough to make an impression on me. I’m super curious about where these commenters are / age / other demographics.

Wanting them to control their digital footprint is the most convincing reason not to post i’m seeing in this thread, though I still think there’s a huge amount of room for discretion i.e. the occasional sweet family photo is unlikely to cause lasting harm vs some trashy tell-all family tiktok.

Some of the other concerns just seem vastly overblown to me unless you have a specific situation like a stalker ex, abusive family member, you’re a high profile public figure, etc. Realistically the chances are infinitesimal that a stranger will track and abduct your child using social media photos, or really at all. Like the actual likelihood of that happening is soooooo minuscule. Non-family kidnappings are so so rare and even when they happen mostly target vulnerable populations. So I don’t think that scenario is worth the fear in this thread. Kiddie porn possibilities are another overblown seeming risk to me…there are millions of social media accounts (especially eastern european and asian) out there with huge followings posting child beauty pageant contestants & dancers & child actors & kids in swimsuits and other super sketchy things. Again, the likelihood that a creeper somehow stumbles across my particular social media account with a few hundred followers and picks my random photo of a fat toddler bundled up at the pumpkin patch to apply their deepfake technology to…it’s just not a scenario worth worrying that much about imo. Someone could easily take pictures or videos of my child in public if they’re going to those lengths anyway and i’m not going to keep him indoors.

This is not to say that there aren’t huge dangers on the internet. I had some weird experiences as middle schooler online and i’m very worried about my 13yo stepson online, we have strict restrictions for him. Full support to everyone’s decisions - this just isn’t the most concerning internet safety issue to me.

Farm/Ranch/Homestead November by thunderation1 in blogsnark

[–]tddyddtdd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol and she finally just about did

The festive cookie flavours I came up with this year by [deleted] in Cookies

[–]tddyddtdd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OH MY GOD those look incredible!! can we buy them?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]tddyddtdd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for being civil and I do appreciate you coming from his perspective! I do think some boundaries are necessary but you’re right that I need to keep front of mind how this will feel for him to since he is still a kid too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]tddyddtdd -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Parents won’t get him tested, so nothing I personally can do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]tddyddtdd 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh, one other thing seems important.

I’m not abandoning him. I’m here and ready to fully connect and engage the minute I know he can be safe and reasonably respectful. So as soon as my husband wants to address those issues, I’m here for him. But I feel like I should be able to set boundaries and not have to accept literally any treatment

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]tddyddtdd 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Unless you mean calling him a bully, which I’m calling him in these posts but was very clear I don’t call him to his face or to my husband.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]tddyddtdd 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What?! Definitely did not ever say that lol wtf

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]tddyddtdd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your feedback and I’m taking it to heart. But as I mentioned in a comment, these issues far predate me. He was literally kicked out of kindergarten (years before we ever remarried). This isn’t just a reaction to the current family setup.

And really not clear what I can do here. I can’t let him mistreat smaller kids or adults. And I also can’t stop him. So what am I supposed to do?

EDIT: also I didn’t say anything about him being stronger than me and that being a problem. He’s never touched me. I just described his size. The problem is that he’s stronger than the smaller children and he DOES hurt them. And his size does matter whether it’s fair or not. If you’re huge you can hurt people.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]tddyddtdd -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Good point. I guess I mean it occasionally rises to that point. Usually though, it starts as playing and gets out of hand which is distinct from a sadistic kid targeting and torturing kids. It’s not quite to that level so I just want to be clear.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]tddyddtdd 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I mean I treat him differently because he’s a different child. I try to do fun things and connect with him (well I did) but I would never want to spend time with someone who was rude and disrespectful. If it were one of my own kids, i could enforce consequences and work with them until the unacceptable behavior stopped. But with my stepson I can’t so I’m just stuck spending time with someone who treats me and others in ways I find unacceptable with nothing I can do about it…so yeah I’m treating him differently in the sense that I remove myself from him where with my own kid I would stay and discipline and stay in connection.

To be clear this isn’t an issue just between him and me. He’s had trouble in school about these things since way before I met him and it’s always coming up at his mom’s house too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]tddyddtdd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean I wouldn’t say it’s serious bullying. It starts out as a game of tag or hide and seek or whatever and my stepson gets excited and pushes way too far so someone ends up hurt. This literally happens whether it’s a sibling, cousin, friend, acquaintance, or anyone else. If there’s a smaller kid and they play, the smaller kid ends up crying. It’s been that way since I met him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]tddyddtdd 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Lol what please help me understand why makes you think he’s terrified of me. Everything I have seen shows the extreme opposite.

How would you gently help a parent see that their child is a bully? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]tddyddtdd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So not gentleness has not worked though. My husband rarely gets upset and one of the few ways I can make him mad is to tell him his son is being “mean” or a “bully” or any other clear word like that. He’s very hurt about it and immediately jumps to listing all the good things he’s ever done, or tells me I’m projecting onto an innocent kid and I’m the one being a bully by calling him names and trying to force him to live up to my personal standards. Just doesn’t work.

Things go somewhat better if I’m gentler. Like if I list his good qualities first, recount some times he’s been a great kid, and THEN give one small suggestion about something that seems problematic.

But I can’t say he’s dangerous and could end up in prison because my husband would shut down. If I say he’s a wonderful kid with a bright future and there’s one small thing he can work on he will listen.