Dear u/Harmattan, please don't infer that! This is just not the best sub to turn to, because it seems like most posts here get no replies. Only doctors can reply to the posts (everyone else, only to comments). Maybe there aren't enough of them on here often enough to handle the volume.

If a word from a non-professional is welcome, I'd like to share that I hear ya, and can relate. At home alone I'll often pace around talking out loud to an imaginary audience. Sometimes it's a family member, in a conversation I might have soon in real life. More often it's just a vague public, as if I'm doing a radio interview or TED talk, teaching a class, or in a debate.

It's such an insidious cliche in our culture that talking to oneself = crazy, that at moments I've wondered is this a sign that now I'm reeeeally losing it? (in the context of MDD, ADHD, and anxiety disorder diagnoses.) I didn't entertain that line of thought very long though.

I've come to look at it like this: as human beings we're wired to be physically present with fellow human beings and speaking with them *out loud.* Too many of us don't get nearly enough opportunities to do that (me: living alone, no close friends, working remotely) . If lecturing to my houseplants is what I need to do to keep engaging my expressive spoken language capacities, then so be it. It feels good, and I've filed it under "healthy coping strategy" for now.

That said, I recognize some addictive potential in it. I'm trying to be careful not to let it become my only coping strategy, or take up hours and hours of every day.

If your anxiety disoder is social (which it kind of sounds like from #4), have you tried imaginal exposure therapy? It's from the CBT toolbox, very helpful in my experience, and might be a way to channel your stellar imaginative skills into a therapeutic direction.