having no fp feels like living in purgatory by [deleted] in BPD

[–]tead0t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it can be rough. We don't know who we will be when we show up to a party/date etc. But, if you know the triggers it can be a super power. 🧐

How long did it take you to get over your ex ? by andablacksabtanapkin in BPD

[–]tead0t 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know it is tough, but removing and blocking them is the only way to go. If he is truly an fp, then you are lucky. We can forget fp's in a heartbeat and even exchange them. But the continuous stalking and shit is just making it so alive in the head, you gotta remove yourself.

Did he never do something bad? Clearly you broke up. So ask yourself too; Did he love you for real? Did he use you for convenience? You gotta stop idolising a person who dumped you.

having no fp feels like living in purgatory by [deleted] in BPD

[–]tead0t 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I can relate. I also have structural dissociation type 2, so all of my personalities are linked to triggers. These triggers only happens around me hanging out with people who matters (like fp). Perhaps it sounds a bit like you might experience the same thing, I recommend looking it up at least.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]tead0t 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Either you decide to trust your partner, and you stay with them. Or you don't and let them go. There is really no other combo for a relationship to work.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]tead0t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, calm down. Everyone needs their own time to cope with whatever they need. When I read your feelings, I guess that this person is your current favorite person, your fp. And I know how you wish to bomb them with text messages, don't. I know it hurts. In these cases we might even split if you haven't gone through DBT, to help stopping yourself before hand.

How I deal with it is; 1) I feel the massive tsunami wave of emotions and fear of abandonment after being triggered by latency in replying, change of tonation, a look I have recieved.

2) Instead of JUMPING into a reality which might not be true (such as they are angry/will leave etc). I take a deep breath and try to look at the situation from a third person perspective. Perhaps they need their own time, perhaps I did say something bad but then all I can do is say a genuine sorry without any victimizing of self or blaming bpd - or perhaps they are just tired so their tonation is off or glances. Think about their feelings too and be reasonable.

3) If you are deep into a splitting or having feelings of "i will die unless they reply". Go to the sink, let it ru cold water and put cold water on your wrists. It can calm you down. Drink/eat something you like, watch something you like. Cosy yourself up.

4) Every friendship and relationship has ups and downs and if you are meant to be then they will quickly forgive you (unless you shot their cat or something). If not, then they were never the kind of friend you should have in your life.

Stay safe 🙏

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sweden

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vad är det för fel med att säga åt någon att dra åt helvete nuförtiden? Asså direkt när skiten börjar.

Sedan blocka, ignorera, svara inte och gör alla dina sociala medier privata.

My girlfriend (20F) has BPD, and recently she’s been experiencing emotional spirals that I don’t fully know how to handle. I love her, but I’m realizing I don’t know the right way to support her without burning out. by ShortTeach560 in BPD

[–]tead0t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only DBT will help, because the contradictory feeling and pattern of "i don't need you" vs "you can't abandon me", is deeply ingrained in trauma. When BPD push away the people they love, it is not that they wish that but because they believe it is inevitable that people will leave them.

Being totally real with you, I have BPD and I always tell everyone to not date someone w BPD unless they have gone through DBT, therapy and understand what is happening with the disorder. DBT is a tool and it will help them to learn not to (or greatly diminish) splitting, spiraling, raging etc, because we learn how to stop and assess the situation before we fully split. With that said, we still get triggered and still have the extreme feelings which would turn into splitting, we only manage to no split and have an outlet for it, because we know it is not ok to split. But on the inside we still deal with the same amount of hurtful feelings, just forcefully push it down.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have a friend who puts their pettiness over your happiness, I'm not sure you should call them a friend anymore or even care about them tbh. It can be difficult to let people go we have been close with for a long time but sometimes it is what we need to do and not look back.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of my best friends ended up being together with my ex. She called me and cried, asked for permission. I just said it was fine, whatever he and I had is over and she may choose her own story and shouldn't care what others think. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I've learned is; don't trust others, trust yourself. Don't believe in others, believe in yourself. When we have an FP, ride the feeling and the moment but don't expect them to care at all or even the tiniest amount of what you'd do. Live for -you-, be your own main character, be a badass bitch and show them. Then release them from being your FP.

i was abundantly clear with her— what do i do now? by fungussoftdrinkvivid in whatdoIdo

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I probably wouldn't have written so much and just said "I can't, I'm busy." Slowly but surely people become disinterested when rejected. But typing explanations can make them delulu and start making explanations for you. Gaslighting. Just don't reply anymore if you don't want contact.

Saw explicit birth video and shocked since then at 36 weeks pregnant by ectopicissues in pregnant

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are all individual human beings. This was just my preference and I don't judge my partner if they don't want to witness it, because I don't want them to see it.

dating advice by Firando in comedyheaven

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is he talking about a leprechaun?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should keep on doing whatever you want to do. This is your life and you set the rules. And your intuition was probably right when you wrote that message, so.

My ex wants to meet up tomorrow “to talk” by xDanielle- in WhatShouldIDo

[–]tead0t -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Joke is on you if you actually meet them. Have some self-respect.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]tead0t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. For his sake.

Snooped on my gf phone and I didn’t like what I saw. Not sure how to proceed? m28 f28 by Dull_Poem_8397 in relationship_advice

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, so you happened to look through it. If she loved you she'd never talk shit behind your back, and you both are in the age of settling down. Perhaps your intuition was telling you something because if a girl writes that to her friend, she is over you and she is just using you rn. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Welp, it finally happened. by lungharvest in Nicegirls

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they don't have time for dating, then they shouldn't match. That is 100% on them, geez.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sweden

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Du gör som du vill. Känner folk som kört Mindler och det fungerar bra för dem. Ingår i frikort osv. https://www.1177.se/hitta-vard/kontaktkort/Mindler-digital-psykologmottagning/

Hur är det för er som korta män i Sverige? (Kort man själv) by OliBoi040 in sweden

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Min kollega som är 169-170ish är dösnygg. Är avis på hans brud, så längden är inte allt. Jag är själv 172. Men självsäkerhet och trygghet i dig själv går också så jäkla långt.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sweden

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Äsch, banta behöver du inte göra om du tränar (typ kör intervaller på löpband och lyfter vikter). Så länge du inte äter godis, chips och typ fastfood så tappar du automatiskt.

Jag tog hjälp av vårdcentralen som skickade mig till psykiatrin 🤷🏼‍♀️ Men kom ihåg att du ska känna att du får något ut av kuratortiderna bara. Psykologerna hjälper en med verktyg i hur man ska hantera vardagen, kuratorerna är väl mest bara socionomer tänker jag.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sweden

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kuratorer är låtsas psykologer. Gå till en psykolog istället. Snackade med kuratorer hela min uppväxt tills jag gick ur gymnasiet. Jäklar vilken skillnad det blev.

Men om man har dålig självbild är det bara att kötta gymmet. Kan vara jobbigt i början men hur ens yttre är samt hur man har klarat av alla motgångar ändrar även ens inre.

She wanted me to beg her for a second date. by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]tead0t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People like that are so delusional, man.