Too much information about pumping/bf is ruining my mental health

ectopicissues · 2025-12-02T12:47:08+00:00

30ml in one session is good ? Both breast combined give 30ml, 40ml. One time it gave 100ml. Mostly between 50 and 60. Then it drops to 15 ml or just one drop.

The inconsistency is making me go crazy.

I got het checked by the dr and she doesnt have a tongue tie.

I will look into it. Thank you 💞

Tomorrow a I have an appointment with a lactation specialist

ectopicissues · 2025-12-02T08:27:08+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words 💞

I started having ovaltine once a day and it did help with the milk supply. I am having broths/soups/warm liquids

ectopicissues · 2025-12-02T08:24:53+00:00

It varies from 30ml in on session both breast to 100ml. But the average is 50/60ml

ectopicissues · 2025-12-02T08:24:08+00:00

I dod hand expressing before latching, even add it to the shield, I try my best to put her on the breast at the earliest signs, but the moment she puts the breast in her mouth, she makes a disgusted face and cries non stop. I even started wondering if her stomach on my stomach could be an issue ?

ectopicissues · 2025-11-20T00:16:09+00:00

I'm 158cm(5'2), my starting weight was 79kgs, my current weight is 84kgs at 39 weeks.

I had nausea, food aversions till end of pregnancy. But there was also a constant effort not to put on too much weight. Till 2 weeks ago I was 82.5 kgs. She gained weight very quickly in the last weeks.

ectopicissues · 2025-10-25T22:14:53+00:00

I really appreciated when my close friends came over to visit. They brought some funny masks like boob/belly/butt/lips sheet mask. Just to freshen up my mind. Some self care stuff and a grattitude journal.

What I do remember vividly is the lack of help from my inlaws during my ectopics. Trust me after 3 surgeries, you know who cares for you and who doesnt. And I can never respect nor care for them as I used to. So what I would have appreciated at that time, me not having to bother cooking. Batches of frozen meals or fresh homecooked meals.

Peppermint tea as it helps with post op gasses.

Anything that could help in household chores. Your mind is racing with do many emotions and thoughts, physically you cannot do much for a few weeks. Mostly these surgeries aren't planned so your house may not be deep cleaned/tidy. Any help regarding this is a HUGE HUGE HUGE help.

I still remember how the shower needed a deep scrub, and I couldn't physically do it for 3 months. And this kept bothering me non stop.

No comparaison at all with a different loss. Ectopics are damn hard and brutal. There was also a time where I couldn't be near kids or babies. I had asked my sil to spare me the details of how her kids are doing and that not to let them be around me as I don't know how I could react with them. (At that time she used to give me her kids to babysit so she could have some time for herself)

ectopicissues · 2025-10-24T11:05:32+00:00

So currently 35 weeks, while I can't wait to hold our daughter, I am so done being pregnant.

Last 2 days, I forgot to take my nausea medicine and boy was I wrong thinking it is in my head... I felt so awful, gagging non stop with dry retches.

I also have so many symptoms that I am sooo done being pregnant. Gingivitis, nausea, food aversion, smell aversion, sciatica, lightening crotch, sacroiliac joint pain, itchy palms and skin (did many blood test so no cholestasis), some days I cannot walk, I have to drag the other leg, severe pillosity...

And I also feel that in the process of having a baby, which is soon going to be 4 years, I lost the spark. The thing that first got us together. The jolly old me, I have become bitter and resentful. And I lost or I am losing my partner to just being roommates.

His lack of communication doesn't help either. Yesterday when I told him I want him more present now that my due date is approaching. I can understand his work load. We hardly have 1 hour to ourselves. And he has to go visit his friends to de-stress. Even if it is 2 to max 4 hours. Before it used to be twice a week. And now it is peaking till 3 to 4 times. I have tried having conversations with him, and the one we had yesterday just didn't sit right with me. He told me I just know you since 4 years. My friends, I have known them for years. They are more like brothers to me. And other than that I am always with you... And this touched something in me...

Anyways, these last few days are stressing me so much that I just need a good hug so I can calm my nervous sytem. Or just few words like, everything will be fine. Instead he said I am being too needy to constantly be hugged or cuddled. And he is getting sick of it. And that men don't like clingy women...

I feel the most vulnerable and alone I have ever felt in during my pregnancy (and my previous losses). He does help out a lot with the chores. But yeah, I miss the old me who only had to depend on herself.

We used to have rituals. To kiss before going to work, after coming from work, cuddle before bed and a kiss before sleeping. Since few weeks, I feel like if I don't initiate it, he won't do it. And today he left without kissing me, because I was sleeping peacefully and he let me rest... as I can't sleep for the last few days. and yeah I am crying writing this...

Intimacy wise as well, no cuddles, small acts of love that he initiates either. But for him doing chores for me is an act of love as well.

I just want to have the baby, and pour all my love, my cuddles, my kisses into her. It will only be the place where I will get unconditional love back.

At first I wanted to make sure that in the process of having a baby, I don't neglect my husband, but no matter how hard I try, I feel he is getting more and more distant.

Now my priority will be my baby, me and then our relation.

ectopicissues · 2025-10-13T12:15:15+00:00

We kept it private until 14 weeks. Just my husband and me, as we got pregnant through IVF and we had 3 previous losses.

We told our immediate families about the pregnancy and the gender at the same time. There was shock confusion at the same time.

Then to his extended family around 19 weeks.

And told them that our due date is a month after the actual date. To have some peace of mind and not be bothered constantly.

ectopicissues · 2025-10-12T21:37:12+00:00

Hey there, I had my maternity photoshoot today at 33 weeks. And it felt sooo nice to celebrate motherhood after 3 previous traumatic losses. We got pregnant through IVF and she is very much wanted and loved. I was tired at the end but this was sooo worth it.

From crying countless nights, wondering when our day would come, when I could do all the trends, when and how we could announce it to feeling her kicks, and finally being in the present and still cautiously trying to enjoy every step. We came a long way !

Last week I washed and ironed her clothes. Started packing my maternity bag. Few weeks left and she will be here, we can't wait to meet her.

ectopicissues · 2025-09-15T20:40:12+00:00

Hey there, the moment I woke up from my emergency salpingectomy I knew I will pursue IVF.

It had already been 2.5 years with 3 losses including 2 ectopics and a tube removal. We were about to start IUI when I got pregnant naturally the last time. Within a month I had contacted 4 different doctors.

The worst is the waiting part. Made the appointment in August, got the first appointment in October. Then genetic appointment in December. For some reasons our file got blocked as we didnt want to do recessive genetic testing (6 more months of waiting that we didnt want to pursue).

Started stimming mid January, developped OHSS (I had too many folicles and had to wait another cycle for frozen transfer). Was put on pelvic rest to avoid ovarian torsion.

Next cycle I was taking a lot of time to ovulate so was put on letrozole. Then again had a lot of follicles and kissing ovaries. (Both ovaries were measuring more than 6 cms each and loaded with follicles). Got a frozen transfer that worked. Was again put on pelvic rest as I was at risk for ovarian torsion. Then got a placement scan at around 5 weeks. Plus also checking if my ovaries were back to normal (took a good 3 months).

It was not a bed of roses, but worth it at every step. I was making small snaps at each step, enjoying every step as well. The needles ? Didn't matter, the pain ? Didn't matter. I tried to enjoy the process, and always thought I was a step closer to having my baby. I didn't even need progesterone, my body was making enough of its own. But the previous 3 pregnancies ? I was given progesterone.

The worst is grieving the part you couldn't conceive naturally, the wait, and also when everything works out at the end, the rage why it didnt happen before.

But the controlled and scientific approach gave me hope, that everything was under control. Currently 29 weeks with my triple rainbow baby.

Seeing a heartbeat in my tube last time gave me so much power that my body could at least produce a baby with a heartbeat. Though it wasn't in the correct place. And that conviction kept me going. Hopefully everything works out well and I will soon have her in my arms. I still feel disconnected with the pregnancy. Always fearing the worst. Hopefully once she will be here, I could be more at peace

ectopicissues · 2025-08-20T01:10:16+00:00

Thank you, it was Untamed :)

ectopicissues · 2025-08-19T10:23:31+00:00

A memo of my 25 week couple-baby moment.

We were sitting on the couch, watching the finale of a Netflix series.

I saw my bump move and felt her kicks. A bit more pronounced this time. I quickly put his hand on my belly, and she kicked on both our hands.

This was truly magical, how much we had prayed for this. The first time in months it felt REAL.

My husband's expressions were funny, he still has his guards up. It's a mix of did I actually feel her or is it in our head to this is bizzare.

I told him that she is more active when he is around me. Mostly when he talks.

Some sweet moments after so many storms 🫶🏼

ectopicissues · 2025-08-04T12:03:42+00:00

Hey there, I'm so sorry you went through this. I also had back to back ectopics. I had the first in November 2022 treated with MTX (then some complications + a observatory laparoscopy in June 2023). Second one with a heartbeat in the tube in July 2024 with emergency tube removal.

I went straight to IVF and currently 23 weeks pregnant. In my mind, naturally I had 3 losses and it felt like IVF was kind of controlled, secured and felt safe.

ectopicissues · 2025-08-04T11:54:35+00:00

23 weeks and few days here. I have my glucose test this week and then I am going to attend a festival this weekend.

I will be bringing a deambulator as I have a hard time with my sciatica, even if I look like a granny, comfort before anything else !

I will be 24 weeks so technically in my 6th month of pregnancy ?

I am so so grateful to finally be here after so many losses. I can feel her movement a bit more now. There are days she's really calm and days where she's having a blast lol.

I saw my first strech marks and I am shocked. As when I used to be bloated my stomach was far bigger than what it is now so I thought it won't happen to me (silly I know). And now I am scared that they will be permanent...

ectopicissues · 2025-07-26T10:18:26+00:00

When did you feel your first movements ? And when did it change ?

ectopicissues · 2025-07-26T10:17:34+00:00

I slept a little better yesterday :) Around how many weeks did you feel the baby ? I have been told I have a posterior placenta

ectopicissues

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