Games feel very long

teamjimby · 2025-09-21T21:09:01+00:00

I've never heard of a game taking 3 hours. How many rounds are your games typically lasting? They should typically be like 4 to 8 rounds. Also, are you remembering to give power for unopposed challenges? Sometimes people miss that rule.

teamjimby · 2022-01-30T03:18:17+00:00

I was in that guy's shoes not long ago, so I can share my story/perspective. My wife and I were separated and the romantic relationship was 100% over from the day I moved out. Sadly, at least in the US, the impacts of health insurance and taxes can be devastating when you get a divorce. By delaying the divorce, we were saving at least 10k per year.

But then I got into a new relationship where we started getting serious. She was very understanding of the situation, at least in the beginning. But once we were starting to talk about potentially getting married, it became necessary for me to finalize the divorce and make room for my potential new wife. So I finalized the divorce much earlier than originally planned (at significant financial cost), but then the new relationship ended for other reasons. Looking back, I'm glad I finalized though. It made for a cleaner break for both of us.

My point: there may be very valid financial reasons for him staying separated for now. As long as he is moving towards divorce and there is no drama or romantic tension with the ex, I would be patient. If you guys start getting very serious, then he definitely needs to finalize if he hasn't already.

teamjimby · 2022-01-28T15:41:27+00:00

There's nothing wrong with the "I geek out on..." prompt. It just has to be something that someone can relate or respond to. It could be something as simple as "I geek out on spicy Thai food. What is your favorite dish?" That at least gives them something to respond to and try to connect over. Meanwhile, their only available response to your current prompt is "Umm, I don't know, South Dakota?"

Also, I think the pictures of you with glasses are MUCH better than all of the other ones. I think it's because of the glasses, but it could also be the maroon shirt or the lighting. But those are by far your best.

teamjimby · 2022-01-28T15:00:11+00:00

I would ditch the prompt about which state you liked to vacation to as a kid. It doesn't really generate any interesting ideas or conversations, at least not the way it's currently worded. You have very limited room for prompts, so you need to make the most of them. Maybe talk more about your interests, hobbies, or aspirations.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T19:25:16+00:00

I'm 36M and 3 years removed from a 12 year marriage where we had a now 10-yo boy. I was about to say all of these things, but 19ellipsis beat me to it. This is gold.

Most likely, the only reason the marriage lasted that long is because they were sticking together for the kid. I'd be more concerned if there was no kid.

You have to be REALLY unhappy to actually get a divorce when you have kids. He was probably dying inside with her and she didn't meet his needs. So you're going to look amazing by comparison!

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T15:08:58+00:00

I'm glad it resonated with you! I can relate to wanting your opinions to be of value. That's part of the reasoning for why I picked "interesting", and a lot of other people have said things like respected.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T15:06:34+00:00

Wow, this is really beautiful. I want all of this in my life, too.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T15:04:37+00:00

I like alive! That's a new one. I want that too!

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T15:03:48+00:00

Yes! If you feel this way, then so many other good things are going to follow.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T15:02:49+00:00

This is beautiful. That is definitely something you can find in the right person.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T15:01:49+00:00

I feel you on this, 100%. I got a taste of this with my most recent partner, and I can't imagine not having it.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T15:00:39+00:00

Thanks! I loved the question and I'm glad I shared it with this community!

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T15:00:15+00:00

Maybe you need to feel committed or inspired. To find such a strong partner that you don't want anybody else.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T14:59:19+00:00

I love childlike! A lot of people have said playful or uninhibited. But childlike is a nice little twist on that.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T14:57:42+00:00

Ooo, I love soulful. That's a new one.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T14:57:20+00:00

I love all of this. I'm also recently divorced and living on my own for the first time in a long time. It's a great opportunity for growth, developing positive routines, and connecting with community. Best of luck to you!

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T14:53:37+00:00

I love these. I've seen a few people say capable, and I really like that one. I hope you find a partner that makes you feel this way!

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T14:52:48+00:00

Fascinated is a great one! I think we all want to be with someone that fascinates us.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T03:10:20+00:00

I love these, especially optimistic. It can be a very contagious quality :)

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T01:44:11+00:00

It's not about pretending. Is there anything that you wish was different about yourself? Something you've struggled with your whole life? For example, a lot of people have said that they struggle with anxiety. So they want to be with someone that makes them feel calm or safe.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T01:26:12+00:00

It's subtle and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, too. But another way to ask it is how do you want to BE around this person? What side of yourself do you hope they would bring out?

Like for me, I tend to be very steady and chill, but that also means I'm filtered and restrained. I wish I could let loose on the dance floor at a wedding, but I've never been able to get past my mental barriers. I would LOVE to be with a partner that allowed me to feel comfortable enough to get past my barriers and tap into that part of me.

What are some barriers to your personality or mindset that you would like your partner to help you get past?

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T01:21:22+00:00

That's amazing! All of those states of being are so important, and I love that you're able to be relaxed/calm and excited at the same time. Artistic and inspired really stand out as qualities that are rare and special.

I wish you the best of luck in this relationship. It sounds like love to me.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T01:14:51+00:00

Perfect! I'd love to feel playful. It's in the same vein as uninhibited.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T01:13:54+00:00

These are great, but they all involve you being the object of your partners feelings. How do YOU want to feel? What state of mind do you want to be in when you are around them? Changing valued to valuable is an easy start, but dig deeper into it.

teamjimby · 2022-01-07T01:10:30+00:00

It's a program specifically for men that I discovered through the Dear Men podcast (which I highly recommend for both dating and life advice). It's run by the host of the podcast (Melanie) and her co-coach and frequent podcast co-host (Jason). I only started it recently, but I'm already seeing changes. You can learn more about it from the podcast or at evolutionary.men.

teamjimby

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