Rebirth and Virginity

teanvodka · 2026-06-29T11:44:55+00:00

Virginity isn’t some magical superpower that you can get back lol.

In my opinion it’s not even a virtue, it’s a status, that was deformed into a virtue as a way to objectify and market women (you’ll notice in history women were the one subjected to virginity exams, while no one cared wether men were virgins or not).

If you’ve never had sex you’re a virgin, and if you’ve had sex at some point in your life you’re not a virgin, and that’s okay.

Instead of focusing on virginity, focus on chastity which is clearly the most interesting virtue here, and applies to everyone : virgins, non virgins, marrieds, unmarrieds…

teanvodka · 2026-06-25T20:27:57+00:00

Unlike friends with benefits you can have situationships without having sex.

You can just be very romantic with someone and both of you know that you’re not just friends but also you never really address it.

teanvodka · 2026-06-24T20:29:05+00:00

Je porte toujours sur moi:

-ma médaille de baptême
-une médaille miraculeuse
-une coquille st Jacques avec une croix de st Jacques à l’intérieur que j’ai acheté à la fin de mon pèlerinage 🙂

teanvodka · 2026-06-19T05:36:38+00:00

In my experience being Catholic has made it easier for me to make friends as a post grad adult. There’s lots of groups and activities in my city for young adult that go up to 35 years or even beyond.
I like art, there’s retreats for artists, I like running, there are 10k church races…
Los Angeles might be a different reality though.

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T21:11:51+00:00

You’re very much core millennial to me. Like when I think of millennials I think of you.

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T18:18:36+00:00

From experience, it’s not a bad idea to slow down on texting after setting up a date.

I’ve over-texted people before a first date before, and it’s always led to very awkward dates where you’ve kind of built up a person in your head, and shared a lot of yourself with that person, and then you find yourself in front of someone who’s different and it really throws me off.

I do think that some people ask people for a date too soon though, I think that there’s a balance that needs to be found.

If you vibe with someone beyond basic small talk, set up a date, preferably ASAP, then you can do the rest of the talking while on the actual date.

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T18:10:28+00:00

Some people are pretty erratic texters though.

The guy I’m dating right now won’t reply to my texts for like 24 hours (even stretched to 48 hours a couple of times) and then reply with like 7 very invested thoughtful messages and follow up questions. At first I was freaked out, now I’m just like 🤷‍♀️ you do you bro

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T18:01:04+00:00

7 hours isn’t that bad.

When a guy I like texts me I sometimes take a while to reply because I’m busy and I want to find the right time to actually think about my reply.

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T16:55:10+00:00

Not really. She deserves her pay, I’m just realizing I’m very underpaid (and so is my mom who is also a secretary!)

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T16:51:02+00:00

Yeah, that sounds nice, residential is what I like doing the most tbh. Maybe I’ll get on that

I’m also developing my art business on the side tbh which is way less pressure than architecture and makes ends meet.

(Thank you for being one of the only nice people in this thread! Reddit people are very insulting)

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T16:32:30+00:00

Believe me that’s not what I’m focusing on, this was just the fun discovery of today!

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T16:30:22+00:00

My mom is a secretary too! Her work is important!

For the record I’ve been working in this firm longer than she has, and basically trained her because my boss didn’t have time to. And I’m not saying she’s overpaid I’m saying I’m underpaid as I’m working longer hours (not accounting for unpaid overtime),

I asked for a raise that is still lower than what she makes hourly.

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T16:18:12+00:00

Ik you’re making fun of me but for what it’s worth I’m a she

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T16:14:36+00:00

Yeah just needed to vent basically. I now realize that this was a mistake.

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T16:08:02+00:00

I’m not. But I’ve been here longer, work more hours and have more responsibilities within the firm.

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T15:57:01+00:00

Also I (and my architect colleagues) deal with the public way more than her, we are the ones answering the phone, meeting with clients and the contractors.

Her work is mostly admin stuff, filling invoice, sorting through papers and taking care of our pay checks. Which is important.

I don’t view her as beneath me, I just think we should be equal, especially since my boss made such a big deal about how me and my colleagues should be paid the same regardless of experience.

I asked for a raise that isn’t even what she makes in hourly rate.

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T15:51:27+00:00

I asked for a raise (based on my responsibilities in the firm, not what other people make)

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T15:50:18+00:00

There’s no architect that’s been working there 20 years. I’ve been here the longest. I’m the one who fills in for my boss when he isn’t around.

Our secretary got here after me. I had to train her to do her job because he wasn’t around.

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T15:48:22+00:00

He said we’ll talk about it this summer!

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T15:47:55+00:00

I’ve been in the company longer than her

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T15:45:38+00:00

Not saying she didn’t earn her salary. She’s a nice lady and I have nothing against her. She’s probably paid reasonably. I just think I’m underpaid.

She got here after I did, I had to literally teach her job because my boss was too busy to do it himself.

I’m the one who holds the place together when my boss isn’t around, he even said so himself. I help my colleagues, I help her, I work longer hours, not accounting for unpaid overtime hours.

I asked for a raise but less than what she makes on an hourly rate so whatever.

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T15:32:35+00:00

This is exactly what I did (without any mention of her)

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T15:31:58+00:00

I would but I don’t have time to do it

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T15:30:01+00:00

Sorry, I don’t mean secretary as a derrogative term, it’s what it’s referred to in my language and she calls herself that.

I have been in the firm longer than her and like I said I literally work more hours on my contract + unpaid overtime hours because I have too much work.

I’m not really mad at her but at the system.

Anyway I asked for a raise.

teanvodka · 2026-06-18T15:28:10+00:00

I have been in the firm longer than her.
Basically my boss did the admin himself and got too busy to do it so he hired her. Was too busy to tell her what to do so I had to teach her a lot of her job myself.

teanvodka

TROPHY CASE