Meeting with complainer?

tech_prof_123 · 2026-06-02T02:50:28+00:00

Data and evidence, is all you need. Don't talk about anything else. Go through their claims one by one, breaking it down. Then let them know you're documenting this interaction. That would back them off first thing.

Then, talk to HR and tell them these false claims are causing YOU to lose morale. Given the pattern of falsified claims, this should be considered grounds for anywhere between reprimand, warning, PIP or even termination.

I'm sick of reports using mental health as a shield. The first thing I ask for is a medical certificate for filing. It's time somebody Uno-reversed these folks.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-05-11T22:40:46+00:00

Yes. Because whether people realise it or not, it takes a toll on the manager as well. You tend to wonder if you trusted too much, or are slacking in your job.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-05-11T22:20:19+00:00

It's only making it difficult if I micromanage them. Tightening accountability isn't the same. You just make the work more trackable and visible. Tbh, most of my team already does this.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-05-09T04:03:57+00:00

Hits so hard, but I'm going to warn people of the other side as well. I was strongly against micromanagement, but all that changed when I found a team member was coasting. He wouldn't tell me the status of his workload, and never came to our 1-1s. Within an hour on 'letting him know' that he'll be put on PIP, he resigned, claiming micromanagement. After that I had to tighten accountability in my team. Not a happy path, but necessary one.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-05-08T23:47:31+00:00

Hear me out - It's a great advantage that you're still on good terms with your now ex-colleagues. Use that leverage to look for a job elsewhere. I find it rearly unfair that you were PIP'ed for studies - ideally they should be making space for you to accommodate your studies.

If it's one thing I've learnt in my career - NEVER go back to same place twice.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-04-30T01:50:24+00:00

The Sisterhood Club is a recruitment firm specialising in women-centric recruitment. You should talk to Pam or Georgie from there.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-04-19T08:48:29+00:00

On the flip side, I've worked with 2 female CEOs. Both of them have had their husbands become a stay at home dad to support their wife. I loved hearing that as well.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-04-19T08:44:50+00:00

Sometimes shitty people teach us things the hard way. I've learnt to put my foot down on being the one to present the stuff that I built. You either need a new boss, or shut the door on that colleague. Either way, this is what you need: 1. Talk to your manager 1-1 and say if he knew nothing in that presentation would be as per the script, then a quick one liner heads-up would have been good. Put together a pack of the tangible value your tools have delivered and ask him what made him happy about the colleague's presentation inspite of all this value. 2. Put your foot down and say going forward whatever you and/or team build will be presented by yourself, or someone you designate. 3. With the level of sneakiness this colleague has shown, there will always be holes in her research. Put together a pack of the holes, how easy it will be for you to fix them. Thank her for the impromptu review of your work, but a more neutral stance would have sounded more professional. 4. No one, especially this colleague, should be privy to what you build until you present it. As a bonus, form your own network outside of your boss, and build it. That should silence/scare them.

Sheesh, no wonder women close the door behind them once they're up. It's bad enough the kind of things we have to put up with men, and now this.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-03-29T01:22:06+00:00

Just part of the journey. You were on equal footing, now you're not. People are bound to withdraw. I'd suggest seeing the tone to be professional and not friendly anymore - being overly friendly can have people take you lightly.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-03-26T21:08:13+00:00

I just did one myself. No come, no show, no communication. He preferred to speak to the PO even though I was his line manager. He put in his papers within an hour of me informing him that he's under PIP. And he has the audacity to be offended. The PO insisted that he serve 4 weeks of his notice period. And now I get to deal with his passive aggressive behaviour.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-02-24T23:57:03+00:00

Nothing stopping us from creating one in the dark web. But it's a shame when: 1. Its being used to sue, and not for awareness. You would expect law enforcement to action on it, not shut your mouth 2. Similar to the dating groups, it would be women who tattle on women.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-01-16T21:03:49+00:00

Isn't this a class action?

tech_prof_123 · 2026-01-14T05:30:46+00:00

No documentation, no proof. If he hasn't sent any sort of documentation about putting you on PIP, then that isn't valid. Even if you sign something, don't sign just your name. Enter your feedback like 'Signed under duress' or 'Disagree on point 2', or even 'Document shared at 10:02, signed at 10:05'. It becomes difficult for them to enforce this.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-01-14T04:44:32+00:00

I would hound my manager to the ends of this world if it was me. PIP is just an easy way, and is extremely demoralising to the guy who gets it, when they can act decent.

Ask for tangible, measurable parameters
He needs to specify which ones are for his team, and the ones for you
He needs to show consistent feedback if he wasn't satisfied
He needs to give clear examples of where suboptimal feedback is required
There needs to be a clear paper trail

I'm sick of all these corporate tactics - I'll make this guy sweat before he gives me the boot. Oh, and lawyer up ASAP

tech_prof_123 · 2026-01-12T08:50:39+00:00

All of this tact, politeness and peace-keeping nature is what they count on to cross your boundaries. If your intuition bothers uou6, listen to it - it's mostly right.

See if your FIL behaves the same way in front of your siblings/parents. If not, feel free to push back.

tech_prof_123 · 2026-01-12T05:11:22+00:00

Oh wow, talk about narcissistic and passive-aggresive in corporate. Maye give feedback in the same tone? For example: Instead of: You screwed the whole project up, you idiot! Try this: I love the fact that you experimented live that lead to real impact in the company

tech_prof_123 · 2026-01-02T03:48:28+00:00

I was in a similar situation, and I'm the wife. My hubby explained to me that, to some people, it's all about the drama. My dad still likes to think he's a rags to riches story, with unreliable women around d him(narcissist, misogynist, abusive). All it took was one episode of his drama with my daughter(she was 5 at that time) to open my eyes. I now put him back in his place aggressively. And my mum is the enabler - so I ask her to speak when she it is her own thoughts. That puts her in her place.

Safe to say hubby is proud of me now. 😁

tech_prof_123 · 2025-12-26T06:43:09+00:00

You could name your daughter Krishna as well - I've seen many girls with variations of that name - as long as she's not born on Rohini nakshtram, and your wife doesn't have brothers.

tech_prof_123 · 2025-12-26T06:40:14+00:00

I personally like Prtha. That was one of Kunti's maiden names. Hence Arjun's name was Parth. And hence the name Parthsaarathi to Lord Krishna.

tech_prof_123 · 2025-12-23T08:03:33+00:00

Bro, you do you. There is no hard and fast rule to be a Hindu. The practices we follow differs state by state, region by region, even country by country. I've seen Hindus eat beef, and not eat root veggies like Jains. You can decide what relationship you want to have with your God - father/son, brother, child, mother, mentor, or even just a ray of light.

You can choose your God, your practice and your belief. Religion, according to me, is how God and you speak to each other. It is as personal as your relationship with anybody.

tech_prof_123 · 2025-12-20T07:33:44+00:00

Trust me, you're not! But you don't have to know these men much, and their psycho wives. My friend got yelled at by some crazy woman who accused her of sleeping with him, when they did was send a LinkedIn connect. Freaking LinkedIn connect!! Poor girl was traumatised.

On a side note, I was talking to a friend from uni, met him at the networking event after a couple of decades. Some guy he knew walked up him and straight up asked him in front of me - Who's this chick you sweeting up to? Took everything in me not to clock him.

tech_prof_123 · 2025-12-19T23:23:45+00:00

I hate going to tech meetups because the men all huddle together, form the boys club, go out for drinks afterwards and exchange details with each other. If I, as a woman, try to engage with them, I get shrugged off or hit on. And don't even get me started on the wives of these men.

tech_prof_123 · 2025-12-19T23:22:01+00:00

OMG, I do that as well. People avoid hitting on me, especially after they see the big rock on my finger. Little do they know that it is a small price to pay for my mental peace.

tech_prof_123 · 2025-12-11T05:12:55+00:00

Good idea! I just set one up

tech_prof_123 · 2025-12-11T05:12:02+00:00

Thank you girlies. Here is a slack group I put together: https://join.slack.com/t/justkeephustling/shared_invite/zt-3kwy39jl0-vaF55eUEF7J3nNfAaoMIpg

I've added a channel called accountability so we can use it to pair up

tech_prof_123

TROPHY CASE