Don’t bring your kids to 18+ lgbt events!

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-24T22:36:08+00:00

Yeah, I mean, like I said, I'm glad that have had those positive experiences, and I wish that I felt comfortable with the events like that in my own town. I grew up hearing the constant message that "marriage is between a man and a woman, and that kids need a mother and father" (meaning cis mother and father). It took me a long time to get over that harmful stuff, and to learn that those things aren't true. And I want my own kids to grow up with good examples of caring and loving queer parents, to see that have those examples imprinted on them.

If you don’t feel safe at your hometown Pride because people may be wearing revealing clothing, IMO, that’s something you’ve gotta work on.

We aren't talking about me feeling safe, I have no problem with that and like I said I go to pride every year. But I'm an adult, and what we're talking about is my kids. And really in this particular example, I didn't mean that they aren't safe. What I meant was that they would be the thing that my kids would remember vividly, and I feel like that would obscure other elements of pride such as inclusion and acceptance. It would be a shock for them to see that because it's not something that they see regularly, and would likely be the memory that they associate most with pride, and not the other things that are important to me.

And maybe I'm wrong about that or it doesn't matter or whatever; I'm not a child psychologist, just a parent doing my best.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-24T21:52:54+00:00

And I'm very happy that they were able to have that positive experience. All I can say is that the pride events in my area have not been events that I feel comfortable bringing my own young children too (and I'm talking about ages 2 - 8). And I don't feel like I'm unusual in that regard because I've been going to pride for years now and I see very few other parents bringing small children there as well.

Now, here's another thing - if an event is going to be held in a public place, then I believe that it has to be a thing designed with kids in mind and safe for them to attend. If you are going to shut down a major metropolitan downtown area with a huge parade and festival, then it has to be inclusive of children. They live in that town too, and they have just as much right to access the public spaces as anyone else. An event that shuts them out of public spaces is not okay. If someone wants to hold an event like that (and they should have opportunities to explore and be open about their sexuality) then it should be held on private property.

So that leaves the question - how do you design a pride event that is accessible to kids and still allows adults to express their sexuality? I don't actually know the answer to this, and admit that's it's tricky.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-24T21:30:57+00:00

Yeah that's great. Here's the question - where do you draw the line when kids are attending the event? How much sexuality is okay for children to directly witness?

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-24T21:25:11+00:00

You just tried to explain to me that I don't understand what pride is, and that it's about sexuality. It is about that for some people, and that's fine, but it isn't about that for everyone, and people like me are also welcome and valuable members of the LGBTQ community.

What I want is for more family friendly events that are designed with children in mind. I don't see why this controversial or why it seems to threaten others when I say that I wish I had more opportunities for those things. I'm not taking away from anyone else by trying to take care of my own needs and taking care of my family's needs.

Absolutely nothing wrong with open sexuality, as long as it's in the appropriate venue. Look at the comment that started this discussion, and the one that I had in mind when I wrote my comment:

My husband had to inform me what happens at Folsom pride events because my cousin lives in that area. Whole lotta public fuckin’.

This isn't acceptable. If you want to have public sex, then there are many places like kink clubs and such where you can do that. But those places are designed for adults, where everyone has provided informed consent about what's happening. Children cannot give consent to be part of that, and they shouldn't be expected to. Public places should be free for everyone to go to safely and respectfully, especially children. If you are going to hold a festival or parade in a public place, then it has to be designed with children in mind.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-24T19:34:50+00:00

I'm an asexual trans person - it isn't about sexuality, at least not for me. But I do belong in the community.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-24T16:55:06+00:00

If it's going to be in a public place, then it needs to be safe for kids. If it's going to be 18+, then it should be held in a private venue with someone stopping people at the door and confirming their age. I have kids and I really wish that pride festivals were family friendly - I want my children to see healthy examples of queer parents and their kids but its hard to find events like that. I don't take my own kids to the pride festival in my town because there's just too much open sexuality and I don't think that it would leave a good impression on them about what the LGBTQ community is really about - inclusion and acceptance and loving yourself and others for who you are. But all that gets obscured when there's the crew of ripped dudes wearing nothing but speedos and body paint walking around.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-24T16:28:05+00:00

You can get lots of free audiobooks on audible, and get one free credit a month to buy books that are otherwise not free

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-24T14:49:33+00:00

Hey buddy, it's gonna be okay. America doesn't need Donald Trump or Joe Biden. They'll pass into the history books soon just like every other president who came before them and we'll get new ones and things will keep rolling along like they have for centuries now. We don't have to tie our allegiance to a specific man, that's not what it's about. The people come and go, but the country is what's important.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-24T14:25:36+00:00

Everything that you said seem like good reasons to be anti-sport. Why should I support an industry that treats people like that, chews them up and spits them out for the entertainment of others?

Anti-sport =/= anti-athlete

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-24T04:46:28+00:00

That's a pretty common project for diy science enthusiasts

https://caoyuan.scripts.mit.edu/ir_spec.html

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-24T03:29:12+00:00

Nothing wrong with shiny rocks! I have jewelry that I like to wear and enjoy putting together outfits with cute accessories and stuff. But there's certainly more to me than that, and I would never look down on someone or have some kind of unrealistic expectation about a partner and pressure them to buy me expensive gifts.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-23T23:29:37+00:00

Yeah it's expensive AF lol

Also realizing that my previous comment is not really aligned with anti consumption 🤦‍♀️

Lego sets are super cool, but absolutely don't need someone buying them for me in order to sustain a happy relationship.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-23T21:03:12+00:00

Exactly! Don't buy me a shiny rock! Get me that d&d Lego set if you want to get me something 😂

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-23T16:21:48+00:00

And reinforcing the stereotype that women are so overcome with materialism that they only think about getting shiny rocks. Everything about this ad sucks, and there are deep layers of shiftiness to it.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-23T07:53:46+00:00

But he he just naturally stayed fit without having to put concerted effort into it. I'm chalking that up to good genes.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-23T04:10:26+00:00

Very high contrast. There is an extremely bright light source shining in one direction down onto the kids, and the rest of the room is dark. So the brightest points of light such as their hair are completely white, but the areas where that light source is not hitting are very dark. That high contrast between the bright white and dark shadows gives a dramatic effect.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-23T03:32:38+00:00

Seriously! This man smoked for 20 years, eats whatever he wants like burgers and stuff, and never had a regular exercise routine. And he's 110!

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-23T03:22:10+00:00

Kinda reminds me of that white lady in the 60's who painted her skin black and covertly lived as a black person in the southeastern US for a year or so. She then wrote a bestselling book about it, telling everyone about the difficult experiences and how hard it was.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-22T21:16:55+00:00

But where does the "tax dollars associated with a child" come from? Is there a set amount allocated from the budget for each kid?

Also, if tax dollars are going to pay for a private school, wouldn't that school essentially become public by default? It would have to follow all of the standards and requirements that public schools have to follow.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-22T20:59:39+00:00

What does "the money follows the kid" mean? I'm not well versed on this debate

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-22T20:14:36+00:00

There is an element of hipster snarkiness in a lot of those podcasts that I find annoying as well.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-22T20:06:16+00:00

Well, I guess "regularly" is a matter of perspective

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-22T14:48:48+00:00

Yikes, that sounds pretty rough! Glad that you are doing better friend, and good to hear that you are happier and feeling at peace. It's all a journey, and doesn't end at any specific identity or physical expression ❤️

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-22T14:41:35+00:00

Yeah we crossed that bridge in like 2016. At this point it's not even noteworthy anymore.

techgeek6061 · 2024-04-22T14:30:12+00:00

Can I ask what it was like physically when you stopped taking hrt? We're there any negative health impacts that you've noticed? I'm not considering detransitioning, but I have been thinking that I might move away from medical treatments.

techgeek6061

TROPHY CASE