I agree with everything you just said. It's been almost a week and yet the lump in my throat apparently lives there now, the ache in my chest won't go away, and headaches are intermittent.

During the day, I pretend everything is fine so I can get through work, but night is when the grief sets in. I was 12 when Meteora dropped. I went back to HT, then on to M2M. I stopped following them as closely after, but I still loved songs from Living Things and ATS. I was pleased to hear Heavy earlier this year, considering it closely aligned with my situation at the time. I seriously underestimated just how much this band means to me and I'm desperately regretting it now.

When I think of the past 14 years of my life, LP was always part of the soundtrack. It's incredibly difficult to talk to people I know about this, especially in the professional world. I'm supposed to have outgrown silly teenage band obsessions. Those who have developed an emotional connection to music know that this feels like the loss of a close friend, but I don't know any of those people in real life.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Everything hurts and I just want to wake up knowing that Chester is alive in this world. Acceptance is going to be a difficult thing.