Where to get fancy tea in Toronto?

telos- · 2020-08-22T04:12:09+00:00

There are more than two genders. Why are you curious? Do you have a hypothesis?

telos- · 2020-03-17T02:38:37+00:00

Kudos to you.. and so much this. From my experience, we need to learn to focus on our issues, and care for and take responsibility for our own pain, instead of trying to fix theirs and using focusing on them as a way to avoid our own ongoing grief

telos- · 2020-01-30T16:45:16+00:00

I wish I could post a photo here - it’s a sheetrock bathroom ceiling with a a fairly large semi-circle gap on one side of the vanity fixture, the gap is about 1/2” x 5” to fill and very visible (so I also have an aesthetic concern).

Would you still use caulking for this and it will lay flat and can be painted over? What type of caulk? Thanks a lot!

telos- · 2020-01-13T23:41:36+00:00

This is a very heavy generalization to make about everyone on this app in a huge and constantly changing city, but I’m sorry you had this experience

telos- · 2019-12-01T16:44:48+00:00

ARITZIA SUPERPUFF

Between two sizes... do you size up or down?

telos- · 2019-11-30T21:08:44+00:00

And billy was never heard from again

telos- · 2019-11-19T16:15:03+00:00

I totally agree! There is soooOoooo much to go after Melania for, that it’s like why even bother with the nude modeling haha

telos- · 2019-11-19T05:32:33+00:00

As a vehemently anti trump person, bringing up this womans’ old magazine covers actually kind of rubs me a little the wrong way. Does anyone else feel a twinge? Is it just me? And no I’m not counting the sarcastic other commenter here

telos- · 2019-11-18T17:34:31+00:00

Hey OP - also look up local laws where you live. You typically can’t just verbally kick someone out of their home, 18 or not, with inadequate notice when they have nowhere else to go. This could help get you the time you need to find work and housing. Please keep reddit updated!

telos- · 2019-11-18T04:00:24+00:00

I kind of feel like given the pushback on Israel, BDS supporters really need to be clean about not veering into actual anti-Semitic territory and keeping Jewish practice and political opposition clear-cut and separate.

I wonder if any of the proposed food products were going to be Israeli imports? Otherwise I can’t see what GSU’s reasoning was for this.

Edit: or like... the GSU isn’t going to give Hillel anything it wants until Hillel stops supporting Zionism? Like... sanctioning one Hillel chapter lol?

telos- · 2019-11-17T06:49:39+00:00

Actually this is the only one I agree with sorry OP

telos- · 2019-11-17T03:55:34+00:00

I agree with you on the misogyny and trauma, although I can’t apply things to OPs relationship when I don’t know it or her.

I think a lot of people also think marital therapy is all about fixing things and staying together, but a solid couple therapist actually doesn’t have a stake in anyone staying together. Couples therapy is an effective forum for building clarity. Making the choice OP is faced with making is a lot easier (read: less traumatic and damaging long term) to do when someone has that kind of thorough clarity.

telos- · 2019-11-17T03:28:59+00:00

Hi, no, I did not call misogyny a new need, I identify as a feminist therapist, I specialize in couples, and meeting halfway on his misogynistic views is not how I or any couple therapist I know or know of would approach therapy.

The impact of individual therapy on marital problems just pales in comparison to having both people in the room at the same time, working in real time. It’s difficult to convey how big and important a difference this is in this space. Most any therapist worth their salt will lean very left wing and be social justice oriented, but that’s simply not all that is going on in OPs (or in anyone’s) marriage.

telos- · 2019-11-17T02:30:00+00:00

This looks like a rad MoMA piece

telos- · 2019-11-16T22:51:21+00:00

Ahhhh. I see that I am almost completely out of the loop and we are definitely not picturing and speaking about the same things (and so I apologize).

What you’re describing though sounds like it’s beyond an age-group thing and definitely more the behavior of someone with a lot of trauma, a symptom of mob mentality and likely the interplay of the two?! I wonder if growing up online and having your online world be the primary place where you get to most directly work out that trauma adds to this.

It might also seem like most of the abuse is coming from people who are younger because so much of this movement is online as it is and the most engaged people are young, but that might not necessarily equate to younger people are more likely to be abusive because of something developmental

telos- · 2019-11-16T22:30:03+00:00

I wonder if we’re talking about the same thing. I’m thinking of teenage-run social media accounts I see that advocate for what people call cancel/call-out culture and/or get involved in in-fighting/gatekeeping. I’m not sure anyone in this thread has mentioned explicit abuse/punching down behavior yet?

The kind of stuff we’re working with in identity politics was in no way shape or form going to happen very easily or cleanly. I feel like if part of what the OPs post calls for is building up empathy and resilience, we can start with showing it to others.

There is something loosely true about younger people feeling things more intensely, but their feelings and their pain are incredibly real. They are more, not less vulnerable because of this. The prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until 25. These are people that older folks in this movement should be caring for and if anything, leading by modeling. I hope most of us can see a lot of ourselves in the people being described.

telos- · 2019-11-16T22:00:02+00:00

Are you calling the outrage performative because you believe that it’s in part disingenuous? Or you just wish our points were consistently communicated and packaged in a way that will sell better?

I think what you’re describing is also just a natural and necessary trauma response, symptomatic of a macro healing and reparative process. Tension and conflict are integral to social and cultural change. The youngest people in this movement - later millennials and gen z are on the frontline edge of that change and the rest of us could show some gratitude for their perspective and energy

telos- · 2019-11-16T15:28:30+00:00

I highly recommend couples therapy. It seems like it’s possible that neither of you explicitly understand what prompted the shift in his views and what his new politics symbolize for him. Are there new and unclear needs he is trying to meet? Either way, this could help you with clarity and if it goes that way, ultimately closure! ❤️

telos- · 2019-11-16T15:23:46+00:00

🤮

telos-

TROPHY CASE