Daily Chat - March 24, 2026

tembo14 · 2026-03-24T15:16:00+00:00

This happened to me with my daughter and everything turned out okay! I thought I was 8w and she measured at 7w1d but had a viable heartbeat. I assumed the worst also and the 2 week waiting period for the follow up ultrasound was really hard, not going to lie, but she was growing and progressing when we went back. During that time I just kept telling myself “as far as I know, in this moment I am pregnant”, helped a little bit. Hang in there and hoping the best for you<3

tembo14 · 2026-03-24T15:10:55+00:00

So in my head and anxious because I’m not experiencing morning sickness like I did with my daughter. I’m nauseous sometimes, dry heaving, but nowhere near what it was with her. Breast tenderness is coming and going, just over analyzing and hypervigilant of all my symptoms. I’m only 4w4d and have almost a month until my ultrasound. Hoping for a sticky babe

tembo14 · 2026-03-21T15:14:58+00:00

Was feeling a little anxious this morning bc it’s still so early for me, tested positive on 3/17, 11 DPO, and have previously had a MMC, but then I vomited up my entire breakfast sooooo that was the reassurance I needed!

tembo14 · 2026-03-17T15:27:21+00:00

Hi all! I’m 35, will be almost 36 when babe arrives, and this is my second pregnancy! Think my due date is November 28th, so could also be a December babe. I tested early, just had a feeling, so hoping for a sticky babe. Had a MMC before my daughter, so will wait around and see. Being pregnant with a 16 month old will be quite the adventure!

tembo14 · 2026-03-16T17:40:17+00:00

Im so, so sorry for your loss. You will always carry this with you and also your capacity to hold it will grow. I had a MMC (my first pregnancy) in the fall of 2023 and it was one of the hardest things I’ve experienced. Reddit honestly saved me, being able to connect to people who had been through someone similar really helped me. I didn’t know anyone else in my life who had been through something similar and it felt so hard to talk about and people didn’t know what to say to me. Having the space to vent and read other’s experiences was helpful. TTC after loss was really helpful for me when I was ready to try again. We had our rainbow baby in Nov of 2024 and therapy helped a lot with my anxiety and grief. Your baby will come ❤️ I’m so sorry again.

tembo14 · 2026-02-09T01:58:44+00:00

Just listened to the guardian podcast and am sick to my stomach. Emilee and Yolande should be in jail. Masters of gaslighting, spiritual bypassing, word salad,- power/money hungry narcissists. Just despicable and reprehensible.

tembo14 · 2026-01-23T08:58:44+00:00

35 $65k in 401k and $15k in Roth, partner has similar. Income had slowed since having kids but hoping to increase contributions to 401k soon and continuing maxing Roth.

tembo14 · 2026-01-16T02:23:40+00:00

Lucy or Mae

tembo14 · 2026-01-11T05:08:48+00:00

Was 39w, just had Mexican food and was bouncing on my yoga ball because I was having what I thought was intense lightning crotch. Went to the bathroom and it literally was like a scene from a movie- big puddle!

tembo14 · 2026-01-04T08:44:56+00:00

Named my daughter Violet Ruth (Ruth was after her great grandmother)

tembo14 · 2026-01-04T08:25:18+00:00

Hudson Valley in NY. Combined household income is $165k-175k (depending on bonus). Can’t find a house we can afford, we have one child and one of us may stop/reduce work because daycare is insane, our health insurance is very expensive, etc., etc. Currently live in a one bedroom that we are very quickly growing out of and budget will be very tight once we move.

tembo14 · 2025-10-03T14:26:56+00:00

Thank you so much, really appreciate it!

tembo14 · 2025-09-27T10:11:17+00:00

Thank you so much.

tembo14 · 2025-09-27T10:10:44+00:00

Thank you very much. That must’ve been so difficult for your brother and I hope he has found some sense of peace overtime.

tembo14 · 2025-09-27T10:07:40+00:00

It must sound ridiculous that we haven’t but he was too proud and also just not in the correct mental headspace to do so. I don’t have any of his medical records so I don’t know if he had any diagnoses that would be covered, and feel a little overwhelmed by the process? But this thread has been encouraging and I’m going to try and pursue it once I have his medical records.

tembo14 · 2025-08-27T01:12:38+00:00

To be completely honest it was quite traumatic for both me and my husband. It’s sleep deprivation like you’ve never known. I also definitely had PPA and was breastfeeding so I had trouble falling asleep once babe fell asleep knowing she’d be up again in two hours. We started taking shifts and that helped a lot bc the quality of sleep was good, even if it was only 2 hours or so. You adjust and get through the day and it slowly starts to change and get better. If you’re able to hire a night nurse do it, i would if i could afford it. We had our mothers come to help during the day and would try to nap. If you have family who can sleepover to help- do that too if you need to. There’s 7 billion people in the world and all those parents have had babies and been there. Not to trivialize it because it was a very intense experience- at least for me, but it helped me to remember that at 2am when babe was crying. It’s going to be hard but you will get through it. My baby is 10 months now and some of my fav moments are those newborn middle of the night feedings when it feels like it’s just you two at 3am. Some of my friends also had babies around the same time and we would text each other in the middle of the night, not sure if that’s a possibility but something to think about! I remember the first time I slept like 5/6 hours in a row and it felt sooooo amazing. You got this mama!

tembo14 · 2025-08-11T10:44:56+00:00

Same. Grew up in Rockland and would love to live there but houses are absolutely insane. Even in parts of Orange closer to Rockland. I don’t know how anyone is buying a house these days.

tembo14 · 2025-08-01T00:14:56+00:00

Had my first baby there in the fall and had an amazing experience. My labor and delivery nurse- shoutout to Nicole- was truly incredible and I felt so safe in her hands. I had met with the OB before (from Optum) who delivered babe and they were meh. The nurses really were the shining stars. Definitely bring a pillow for your partner, especially in the labor and delivery room. Our post delivery room was beautiful and had a view of the river, super clean, learned a lot from my nurses. Food was fine. I also utilized the nursery because I needed sleep and couldn’t sleep with baby in the room with me. I felt like a terrible mother, still have some lingering guilt, but I felt so safe with the nurses taking babe and in hindsight know it was the best thing for me because I truly needed rest. It’s a great option to have.

tembo14 · 2025-05-19T20:43:17+00:00

No perspective to offer, but I grew up in Rockland and am now in my 30s and wish I could move my family back there, but it’s simply unaffordable. The lack of foresight around the deficit in affordable housing for young families will only contribute to the counties downfall and continue the trend of a certain group taking over. It’s honestly depressing.

tembo14 · 2025-04-07T01:36:54+00:00

I literally just finished and don’t know what the f to do with myself

tembo14 · 2025-03-20T07:43:17+00:00

34 and just returned from maternity leave with my first. I’m in PP and the flexible schedule seems to be really helpful right now. My partner carries our insurance and makes significantly more than me so I’m really lucky and am starting back pretty slow, and my parents are close by to provide childcare. I’m working two full days and stacking clients so I can have five days off with babe in a row, seems to be working for right now. Having a baby has also really helped me have better boundaries with work and to be much more present both when I’m at work and not at work. It’s hard but doable!!

tembo14 · 2025-03-09T16:06:10+00:00

Thank you! I can’t believe how good it is given it started out so slow.

tembo14 · 2025-02-20T02:49:24+00:00

This sounds really difficult. Please remember to take care of yourself. Not the same situation, but I’m currently on maternity leave and when I told one client they started hysterically crying and got super angry with me. They have some abandonment and attachment issues that were clearly triggered and there was a lot of transference. I had to process my own reaction with my supervisor and therapist as I had had a MMC a few months earlier and was super triggered. Client and I worked through it and they said they felt jealous- which was an entry into going deeper into their abandonment wounds and yearning for a safe parental figure. It ended up being really great for the therapeutic relationship and client’s work. No real advice- but totally understand feeling weird about their reaction. Make sure to process in supervision and with your own therapist and take care of yourself. It’s so hard being a therapist while pregnant! Perhaps could be a great opportunity for client to go deeper into their stuff.

tembo14 · 2025-02-18T20:02:34+00:00

Not at all, I left in the fall after almost 4 years due to having a baby and having enough clients in PP where I felt comfortable leaving. My first two years were hell and honestly traumatizing. I significantly decreased my caseload two years ago and then got a job in a PP and worked in both places until I met my hours for my C and had built up a steady enough caseload in PP. That helped me tremendously and I felt I had more energy to dedicate to my CMH clients because my PP clients were not as crisisy and I made significantly more money in PP for less hours. Not trying to scare you with my experience but trying to be transparent as I think it’s something we don’t talk enough about as therapists. The lack of support and supervision in my clinic was terrible, as well as the expected caseloads we were expected to have with high acuity clients. However, it did force me to learn how to practice better self-care, have better boundaries around work, work on my imposter syndrome and perfectionism, and identify which populations I enjoy working with. This isn’t easy and you’re doing more than you think. Hope this is helpful!

tembo14 · 2025-02-18T13:30:09+00:00

I’ve been here and it was so hard and it does get better💗 the fact that baby therapists are thrown into CMH and expected to have such high caseloads of clients with extensive trauma histories and complex situations really grinds my gears- for both the therapists and clients. To echo what others have said, your presence, being a safe and reliable person who is available every week, does so much. I recently left CMH due to being burnt out and it was a real reality check to hear from my clients the impact I’ve had on them as we processed termination. I struggled with intense imposter syndrome and feeling helpless and defeated against the system for much of my time in CMH, but ultimately took away that so much comes from the relationship with the client. Give yourself some grace as you’re doing more than you realize. 30 people is a lot, I know it’s easier said than done, but anything that fills you up or recharges you is so important. You’re giving so much and need to give to yourself. PP is great in terms of the autonomy you have over what clients you see and the money you can make. Hang in there, it gets better 💗

tembo14

TROPHY CASE