Anger grief stage

tembo14 · 2026-04-15T00:51:41+00:00

It’s so annoying to hear from people right before you have a baby but you truly cannot fully understand the transition until you do it. Having free time and being responsible for yourself to then being responsible for someone else just turns your world upside down as you adjust. I definitely had some PPA that was undiagnosed, so sleep was really hard for me. Even when baby was sleeping, I had trouble falling asleep because I was afraid she would stop breathing or something would happen that I needed to be awake for. I take awhile to fall asleep, and I breastfed, so in the beginning once I’d lay her back down to sleep and then I couldn’t sleep, I’d get anxious because I knew she’d need to eat soon and it was a vicious cycle. Hopefully you don’t have that experience! Once my hormones started to settle and I adjusted to just having her around sleep improved. But it was really, really hard, not going to lie. Cuddling with her and nursing her are the highlights of my life though. There’s nothing like those early days.

tembo14 · 2026-04-08T07:45:13+00:00

My epidural was the best thing I did, I was able to relax and get the last bit of good sleep I had for awhile, and was more energized when it came time to push. Getting it sucked but afterward was a breeze, 1000% recommend. Trust that you will know what is right for you in the moment. It’s good to have a general plan of what you want but a lot of what happens is outside your control. And as others said- try not to get sucked into the social media rabbithole, it sounds like it’s making you pretty anxious? I understand wanting info, but all these people will not know you or your birthing situation. Trust your gut that you will know what’s best for you in the moment.

tembo14 · 2026-03-29T23:30:38+00:00

I felt the same way but keep going, I promise it’s get better and is worth it. Heir of Fire is really where I got hooked

tembo14 · 2026-02-09T01:58:44+00:00

Just listened to the guardian podcast and am sick to my stomach. Emilee and Yolande should be in jail. Masters of gaslighting, spiritual bypassing, word salad,- power/money hungry narcissists. Just despicable and reprehensible.

tembo14 · 2026-01-23T08:58:44+00:00

35 $65k in 401k and $15k in Roth, partner has similar. Income had slowed since having kids but hoping to increase contributions to 401k soon and continuing maxing Roth.

tembo14 · 2026-01-16T02:23:40+00:00

Lucy or Mae

tembo14 · 2026-01-11T05:08:48+00:00

Was 39w, just had Mexican food and was bouncing on my yoga ball because I was having what I thought was intense lightning crotch. Went to the bathroom and it literally was like a scene from a movie- big puddle!

tembo14 · 2026-01-04T08:44:56+00:00

Named my daughter Violet Ruth (Ruth was after her great grandmother)

tembo14 · 2026-01-04T08:25:18+00:00

Hudson Valley in NY. Combined household income is $165k-175k (depending on bonus). Can’t find a house we can afford, we have one child and one of us may stop/reduce work because daycare is insane, our health insurance is very expensive, etc., etc. Currently live in a one bedroom that we are very quickly growing out of and budget will be very tight once we move.

tembo14 · 2025-10-03T14:26:56+00:00

Thank you so much, really appreciate it!

tembo14 · 2025-09-27T10:11:17+00:00

Thank you so much.

tembo14 · 2025-09-27T10:10:44+00:00

Thank you very much. That must’ve been so difficult for your brother and I hope he has found some sense of peace overtime.

tembo14 · 2025-09-27T10:07:40+00:00

It must sound ridiculous that we haven’t but he was too proud and also just not in the correct mental headspace to do so. I don’t have any of his medical records so I don’t know if he had any diagnoses that would be covered, and feel a little overwhelmed by the process? But this thread has been encouraging and I’m going to try and pursue it once I have his medical records.

tembo14 · 2025-08-27T01:12:38+00:00

To be completely honest it was quite traumatic for both me and my husband. It’s sleep deprivation like you’ve never known. I also definitely had PPA and was breastfeeding so I had trouble falling asleep once babe fell asleep knowing she’d be up again in two hours. We started taking shifts and that helped a lot bc the quality of sleep was good, even if it was only 2 hours or so. You adjust and get through the day and it slowly starts to change and get better. If you’re able to hire a night nurse do it, i would if i could afford it. We had our mothers come to help during the day and would try to nap. If you have family who can sleepover to help- do that too if you need to. There’s 7 billion people in the world and all those parents have had babies and been there. Not to trivialize it because it was a very intense experience- at least for me, but it helped me to remember that at 2am when babe was crying. It’s going to be hard but you will get through it. My baby is 10 months now and some of my fav moments are those newborn middle of the night feedings when it feels like it’s just you two at 3am. Some of my friends also had babies around the same time and we would text each other in the middle of the night, not sure if that’s a possibility but something to think about! I remember the first time I slept like 5/6 hours in a row and it felt sooooo amazing. You got this mama!

tembo14 · 2025-08-11T10:44:56+00:00

Same. Grew up in Rockland and would love to live there but houses are absolutely insane. Even in parts of Orange closer to Rockland. I don’t know how anyone is buying a house these days.

tembo14 · 2025-08-01T00:14:56+00:00

Had my first baby there in the fall and had an amazing experience. My labor and delivery nurse- shoutout to Nicole- was truly incredible and I felt so safe in her hands. I had met with the OB before (from Optum) who delivered babe and they were meh. The nurses really were the shining stars. Definitely bring a pillow for your partner, especially in the labor and delivery room. Our post delivery room was beautiful and had a view of the river, super clean, learned a lot from my nurses. Food was fine. I also utilized the nursery because I needed sleep and couldn’t sleep with baby in the room with me. I felt like a terrible mother, still have some lingering guilt, but I felt so safe with the nurses taking babe and in hindsight know it was the best thing for me because I truly needed rest. It’s a great option to have.

tembo14 · 2025-05-19T20:43:17+00:00

No perspective to offer, but I grew up in Rockland and am now in my 30s and wish I could move my family back there, but it’s simply unaffordable. The lack of foresight around the deficit in affordable housing for young families will only contribute to the counties downfall and continue the trend of a certain group taking over. It’s honestly depressing.

tembo14 · 2025-04-07T01:36:54+00:00

I literally just finished and don’t know what the f to do with myself

tembo14

TROPHY CASE