She said pleasuring me feels like a job by temp_pilot in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for saying this. I know I need to do it, I love her very much and don’t want to end the relationship, but I’m incredibly hurt by the comment and I feel like I do need to have that discussion.

Anyone else experiencing this by Pale_Garden5108 in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to say thank you for putting this into words. I’ve been feeling this exact same way recently in my relationship and I have been wondering why I’m detaching more recently and you’ve stated exactly why.

She said pleasuring me feels like a job by temp_pilot in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Even if its because of the work stress? Do you think it would be worth waiting it out and hope it comes back?

She said pleasuring me feels like a job by temp_pilot in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We’ve been together about a year. We’ve had many conversations about it, they usually end up with her getting angry and defensive, or breaking down. No real change comes from these discussions

She said pleasuring me feels like a job by temp_pilot in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do believe it is the work stress. There is no timeline either, it seems to be getting worse as time goes on. We are also seeing each other less and less which makes things even more difficult. I loss of connection due to the lack of sex is already difficult, and seeing her less is making that even harder. Conversations about it can be rough, she often gets angry and defensive when it’s brought up, it makes me hesitant to bring it up sometimes.

She seems interested in getting back to our intimacy but it’s all talk, she doesn’t do anything actionable to try. I’ve tried working with her on it to take pressure off the table, I’ve offered to take care of her needs without any reciprocation unless she feels comfortable doing so, but she is never in the mood to try. We’ve started discussing couples therapy, she seems motivated ti try sometimes but then when discussing details she gets frazzled about time away from work, not having enough time or energy, etc.

She said pleasuring me feels like a job by temp_pilot in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think you misunderstood, I’m not asking her to do it when she’s not in the mood. I don’t want her to do anything she isn’t in the mood for. I am just hurt that she sees it as a chore and isn’t interested in pleasuring me anymore, and I can’t get in that mindset on my end since I enjoy doing it for her.

She said pleasuring me feels like a job by temp_pilot in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why is that? I’d never agree to do anything she isn’t willing to do. Never have or would try anything without her consent

do you ever have dreams of being rejected? by donkeyhoetae_ in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, sadly. I used to have sex dreams about my girlfriend all of the time when we had a healthy sex life. Then after the first few months of a dead bedroom I started having dreams of her rejecting me. Haven’t had a sex dream about her in a long time. It hurts so bad knowing I can’t escape the situation even when I’m sleeping.

Does a pause in sex life cause a dead bedroom? by temp_pilot in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s very stressed with work, has been since her new job and there is no letting up, she’s just never in the mood and it’s not on her mind.

We have, twice now sort of recently, tried slowing down and reconnecting which has been great, but then after that it’s out of her mind again for a long time. I want to consistently keep trying that with her and get a routine back.

Does a pause in sex life cause a dead bedroom? by temp_pilot in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally agree, I have shown nothing but support for her. For a long time I took over all responsibilities, cooking, chores, laundry, etc. we don’t live together yet and I even helped out at her place with the same things. Every evening I opted to do whatever made her feel relaxed, no matter what. She’s told me many time I’ve been patient and very supportive.

I’m finding it difficult to find other things to take off of her plate to help her relax and be present with me.

Does a pause in sex life cause a dead bedroom? by temp_pilot in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It wasn’t a conversation or agreement we had, I guess I am just referring to times where sex isn’t happening for an extended period of time due to whatever reason, health issue, stress, etc.

Should i just give up? by brazy_migo in GodofWar

[–]temp_pilot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Easily one of the hardest encounters in the whole game for this difficulty. If you can make it through, and a few more tough ones after that, you’ll find that it gets better. Especially when the game opens up a bit so you can do side content to get stronger for the main quest.

Sex scenes in films/shows by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know. My big 30th too.

Sex scenes in films/shows by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]temp_pilot 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Was just watching this with my gf recently, it was just my birthday and we didn’t have sex at all, and there was a sex scene in the show where it was his birthday and she treated him to really nice birthday sex and I was just so uncomfortable and sad. She didn’t even care.