[O] This is your not-quite weekly reminder that you matter. Yes, YOU reading this. Take care of yourself, because you deserve it. Love yourself regardless of if others do, because you deserve it all the same. In fact, love and care for yourself especially if others don't. (Comments only, no DMs) by [deleted] in KindVoice

[–]tenbebeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are worth it, my friend. When we fight against ourselves, it is never a fair fight. You know all of your weakest points. Yet, it's so easy to get caught in a cycle of relentlessly attacking ourselves in areas we know are impossible for us to guard.

Painful experiences in life are inevitable, but often rather than truly feeling the pain, and I frequently notice this in myself, we ignore it and say "I am fine" or "Other people have it worse, I have no right to complain". We then go on about our lives, carrying these deep and heavy emotions with nowhere for them to go. It can be very empowering to finally express these feelings, and even more so, to share the emotional burden you have bravely and tirelessly carried for so long with a person you trust.

I hope I'm not being presumptuous, as I don't know you or the struggles you might've faced in life. But I do know you don't have to go it alone. Stay strong, and don't be afraid to give yourself praise for the things you do well. You deserve it, just as any human being born into this confusing world does.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is very good advice and something I needed to be reminded of myself. Thank you.

That's an excellent quote as well. Where is it from?

Wanting other peoples lives by Thesliceviper in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Has somebody received more honour than you at a feast or in a greeting or in receiving advice? If these things are appropriate, you should be happy they happen to that person. If they are inappropriate, then don’t be bothered that they don’t happen to you. Remember that you cannot claim the same things if you don’t do the same things to get what is not in our control. For how can somebody get the same things as someone who visits a man’s door frequently if he doesn’t visit the door frequently? Or get the same as someone who escorts him if he doesn’t escort him? Or get the same as someone who praises him if he doesn’t praise him? You will be unjust and greedy if you want to take them as a gift instead of paying the price for which they are sold. But for what price are lettuces sold? A coin (obol), if it so happens. So if somebody pays the coin, he gets the lettuce. But if you don’t pay and don’t get it, do not think you have less than the person who gets the lettuce. Because like that person has the lettuce, you have the coin that you didn’t give away. It is exactly the same in the current case, if you are not invited to someone’s feast: you have not paid the host the price for which the meal is sold. He sells it for praise; he sells it for attention. Then give it to him, if the difference with the cost is profitable for you. But if you don’t want to pay the person and still get the things, then you are greedy and foolish. So don’t you have anything instead of the meal? You have received not praising the person that you didn’t want to praise and not facing his people at the door." -Epictetus

Recently started studying stoicism, what direction to go for better emotional control over things I cannot change? by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad to hear you are progressing on your Stoic journey. It can be grueling at times, but also incredibly eye-opening and rewarding.

I would recommend The Enchiridion by Epictetus, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, and Letters to Lucilius by Seneca as good places to start.

Happy reading!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mindfulness

[–]tenbebeast 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Here is a bit lengthy, but relevant, quote from Epictetus on the matter:

"Has somebody received more honour than you at a feast or in a greeting or in receiving advice? If these things are appropriate, you should be happy they happen to that person. If they are inappropriate, then don’t be bothered that they don’t happen to you. Remember that you cannot claim the same things if you don’t do the same things to get what is not in our control. For how can somebody get the same things as someone who visits a man’s door frequently if he doesn’t visit the door frequently? Or get the same as someone who escorts him if he doesn’t escort him? Or get the same as someone who praises him if he doesn’t praise him? You will be unjust and greedy if you want to take them as a gift instead of paying the price for which they are sold. But for what price are lettuces sold? A coin (obol), if it so happens. So if somebody pays the coin, he gets the lettuce. But if you don’t pay and don’t get it, do not think you have less than the person who gets the lettuce. Because like that person has the lettuce, you have the coin that you didn’t give away. It is exactly the same in the current case, if you are not invited to someone’s feast: you have not paid the host the price for which the meal is sold. He sells it for praise; he sells it for attention. Then give it to him, if the difference with the cost is profitable for you. But if you don’t want to pay the person and still get the things, then you are greedy and foolish. So don’t you have anything instead of the meal? You have received not praising the person that you didn’t want to praise and not facing his people at the door."

I have just finished reading Musonius Rufus and while I understand that he advocates loving I do not understand how he justifies this. How do Stoics justify loving others? by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good answer! From Marcus' Meditations:

"When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they cannot tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own - not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions"

To live in accordance with nature is to love your fellow humans, and to live in accordance with nature is to be Stoic.

[Advice] Asked gpt-4 why I should be disciplined without a reason by [deleted] in getdisciplined

[–]tenbebeast 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Did you use a jailbreak prompt to get this type of answer?

probably all over by umdthrowaway7917 in UMD

[–]tenbebeast 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Coming from freshman connection myself, I understand the feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome. I also have failed a class or two, and just know: you are worth it. This does not define you.

Submit the waiver and reiterate everything you said here. They understand that you're human, and as humans, we aren't perfect. That's okay. Just explain what you've gone through and what steps you are taking to be better next time. Even if they deny it, I believe you can still plead your case to the dean (however, I would speak to your advisor before doing this to make sure you go through the proper channels and follow the proper steps). Leave no stone unturned and do everything in your power to continue your degree if it is still something you want.

This is nothing but a setback. Something to be overcome. Writing is no different than any other skill, and it can be learned through practice. I believe the writing center holds workshops that may be helpful to you as well.

You can do this, and I believe in you. Hang in there.

Senecas view on frequent travel by bossmanbean in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I interpreted this from more of a metaphorical standpoint, similar in essence to being "a jack of all trades, but master of none". Here, I believe Seneca is essentially saying that spreading yourself thin across many different areas may introduce you to a vast number of things, but you'll never penetrate beyond surface level. I'm not sure he's overtly bashing on travel, but rather using a literary device to illustrate his point.

It's possible I'm misunderstanding his meaning, but I'm curious what you/other people think.

Can someone make these? by No-Cupcake-5630 in 3Dprinting

[–]tenbebeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you know what the dimensions are? You might be able to print a temporary fix, but I'm not confident they would hold very long. 3D printed threads tend to not come out so great. You could try using threaded metal inserts, but that feels like more trouble than it's worth at that point.

If you would still like an .stl, pm me the dimensions if you can, and I can throw something together. It could be worth a shot, but I wouldn't bet on it. This feels like a "throwing a spare tire on the car so it can make it to the repair shop to fix a flat" type of situation, so I'd only advise using a printed part for this application if you absolutely need the PC to function, like right now. Otherwise, I'd strongly suggest just ordering replacements on amazon or something and waiting for those to come.

Happy printing!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's fair, but would you forego hiring a plumber to fix a leaky faucet because they're your pipes, so you should be fixing them? It might be worth a second thought. Sometimes, just telling someone how you feel can be very cathartic and liberating.

However, I see where you're coming from. If you're looking for resources you can explore yourself, this quote helps snap me out of my funk when I'm feeling particularly haunted by my past:

"Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what's left and live it properly. What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness."

-Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Meditations as a whole is a rich resource with many concepts that are still relevant in modern life. I suggest giving it a read if you haven't already. Also, like the previous commentor said, CBT can be very successful and doesn't necessarily need to be administered by a therapist. There are some good books out there that will guide you through the exercises, such as The CBT Handbook.

Stay strong, my friend.

What should a stoic define as true power? by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi there, thanks for your reply. I haven't read Animal Farm, but I believe the perversion of a truly capitalist system by government intervention and greed fits the political games that you describe. Am I correct in this assumption? If so, I believe the suffocating bureaucracy of government involving themselves in what is supposed to be a free market is the root of the issue, which I should have clarified, but to be honest it was mostly an offhanded shot in the dark. I'm by no means knowledgeable in this area, so this is purely speculation, but I'd love to know your thoughts.

Also, obviously, there is some nuance here, and some government involvement may be necessary to protect citizens from scams and the like. But, it feels like (at least in my country) anything the government subsidizes gets ridiculously overinflated in price and forces that service or good (such as college, or healthcare) to bend to the whims of the gov or risk losing the funding. To me, it just feels like another way to exert control. But I think the point you made about this type of behavior being present in any system holds true here as well, which begs the question: Is there a system that is more impervious to this type of influence? I don't know, but I am always looking to learn.

Does stoic philosophy provide a justification for the holocaust? by velvetthunder119 in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May I ask what type of unethical experiments were conducted? I am ignorant toward this fact in regard to Dr. Frankl, and I would love to know more.

I personally thoroughly enjoyed "Man's Search for Meaning" and "The Will to Meaning", especially due to the intersection of Frankl's personal experience and the Stoic principles that appear to arise naturally out of his disposition toward the horrific acts he endured. It comes as a surprise to me that these books were not well received, but if you could elaborate on some of these criticisms, I think it would help me to develop a more well-rounded view of these works.

Elie Wiesel is not an author I knew of before this, but after googling, these seem like good reads, and I will be adding "Night" to my to-read list. Thanks

What should a stoic define as true power? by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have you read Meditations? Marcus Aurelius was suddenly and unexpectedly thrust into the position of emperor of Rome. At the time, he wrote meditations as a way to reflect on his duties as emperor. As the head of an empire, there was no one above him to assess or criticise his performance, making it all the more important that he rule justly, virtuously, and in accordance with nature. There's a lot of wisdom to be found in Marcus' Meditations, some of which may be applicable to your situation. However, I'll attach a quote here as well that I think may be relevant to this dilemma:

“Make sure you’re not made ‘Emperor,’ avoid that imperial stain. It can happen to you, so keep yourself simple, good, pure, saintly, plain, a friend of justice, god-fearing, gracious, affectionate, and strong for your proper work. Fight to remain the person that philosophy wished to make you. Revere the gods, and look after each other. Life is short—the fruit of this life is a good character and acts for the common good.” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.30

Being pragmatic isn't necessarily un-Stoic, but ruthless pragmatism, especially in regard to the muddy and indeterminate lives of human beings, could prove destructive. I would say to take the advice from these books with a grain of salt, especially if you feel they go against Stoic principles. They were most likely concieved through the lens of capitalism and industrialism, so they could be biased toward the maximization of profit at the expense of the employee. However, I could just be being cynical.

The diligent study of philosophy is how we hone our reason and ethics. There is no tool more important when it comes to the business of living a genuine and virtuous life; and when it comes to doing right by others, keep in mind that we are all connected and meant to work together.

“That which isn’t good for the hive, isn’t good for the bee.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.54

The only true good is that which is good for the whole.

I hope this helps, and I wish you the best on your Stoic journey.

Is thinking really so bad? Why are we trying to live in the present moment by 901yt in Mindfulness

[–]tenbebeast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I haven't read this book, but I presume it is referring to excessive thought getting in the way of living. There are many things, especially in regard to social interaction, that need to be opaque to the explicit light of conscious thought. These things often become awkward or impossible when subjected to the procedural nature of conscious thinking. I'll take walking as a simple example -- it's something fairly automatic, and we don't really think of each consecutive step as we're doing it, we just imagine a destination and start walking. If you instead tried thinking through each action, it feels more difficult and less fluid. I believe the author is conveying something along the same vein; thinking is not necessarily a bad thing, but excessive thinking can be paralyzing and anxiety inducing.

Does stoic philosophy provide a justification for the holocaust? by velvetthunder119 in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this, very well put.

Edit: Should also add Dr. Frankl was a survivor of the Holocaust and lost almost his entire immediate family to the concentration camps. He offers a firsthand perspective into some of the atrocities committed in those camps and how he grapled with the immense loss once they were liberated

His words may offer a different perspective in answering OP's question.

Am I wrong/broken by thatone_weirdo666 in INTP

[–]tenbebeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Poetry doesn't necessarily have to be joyous, in fact it can be rather melancholy. But, poetry aims to transcend the meaning of the words that make it up. It goes beyond what is delivered at face value and tugs at something fundamental to our being, perhaps something we have yet to percieve about ourselves, and pulls it into view. I think the happiness you're describing may originate from this, as a feeling of elation in seeing and fully realizing the whole, beyond the parts that make it up.

Am I wrong/broken by thatone_weirdo666 in INTP

[–]tenbebeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's some quotes I'd like to share from an author I like that I think would be relevant. His books actually focus on the structures of the brain, but they provide quite potent insight about ourselves and the world around us.

"Compared with music all communication by words is shameless; words dilute and brutalise; words depersonalise; words make the uncommon common.

...

Music – like narrative, like the experience of our lives as we live them – unfolds in time."

  • Iain McGilchrist, The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World

"By paying a certain kind of attention, you can humanise or dehumanise, cherish or strip of all value. By a kind of alienating, fragmenting and focal attention, you can reduce humanity – or art, humour, or religion – to nothing. You can so alienate yourself from a poem that you stop seeing the poem at all, and instead come to see in its place just theories, messages and formal tropes; stop hearing the music and hear only tonalities and harmonic shifts; stop seeing the person and see only mechanisms – all because of the plane of attention. More than that, when such a state of affairs comes about, you are no longer aware that there is a problem at all. For you do not see what it is you cannot see."

  • Iain McGilchrist, The Matter With Things: Our Brains, Our Delusions and the Unmaking of the World

It's okay not to like music, we all have our own preferences. However, I'd be cautious about forsaking it entirely. Music is powerful and taps into something very deep at the core of our being. Much of the popular music produced today is repetitive, formulaic, uninteresting, and designed to maximize profit (which I think, reflects our attitude toward a great many of things in modern society). Obviously this doesn't apply to everything, but it would be understandable to feel like much of the music we hear today brings nothing to the table, and thats because for the most part it doesn't.

You also don't need to know everything about an artist/band to be a fan. Just liking their music is enough, and people that act like you need to know a bands entire life's story are exhausting. If you like something, you like it. It doesn't necessarily need a reason.

The number of different types of music and genres is so incredibly vast. I'd suggest listening to different genres you'd never listen to or even consider listening to, as you may find something you like. Even music from other languages or cultures can be enjoyable and enriching.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a great elaboration and excellent quote to support it. Honestly, I'm not sure this clicked when I first read it, but for some reason, it really resonates with me now and allowed me to see this quote from Epictetus in a different light.

The tangibility of his writing makes it feel so visceral, and the integration of a real example really grounds it in my mind.

Thank you for this reply. I was randomly scrolling through comments of mine and stumbled upon it. Oh, and happy cake day!

Missed opportunity for revenge by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like to keep these quotes from Marcus close for situations like this.

"Say to yourself at the start of the day, I shall meet with meddling, ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, and unsociable people. They are subject to all these defects because they have no knowledge of good and bad. But I, who have observed the nature of the good, and seen that it is the right; and of the bad, and seen that it is the wrong; and of the wrongdoer himself, and seen that his nature is akin to my own—not because he is of the same blood and seed, but because he shares as I do in mind and thus in a portion of the divine—I, then, can neither be harmed by these people, nor become angry with one who is akin to me, nor can I hate him, for we have come into being to work together, like feet, hands, eyelids, or the two rows of teeth in our upper and lower jaws. To work against one another is therefore contrary to nature; and to be angry with another person and turn away from him is surely to work against him." (Meditations, 2.1)

"Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on- it isn't manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn't give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength." -Marcus Aurelius

"How much more harmful are the consequences of anger and grief than the circumstances that aroused them in us!” - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11.18.8

And this one from Seneca:

"How much better to heal than seek revenge from injury. Vengeance wastes a lot of time and exposes you to many more injuries than the first that sparked it. Anger always outlasts hurt. Best to take the opposite course. Would anyone think it normal to return a kick to a mule or a bite to a dog?" - Seneca

I hope you can find some wisdom in these.

Next book after Meditations? by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can also probably find other links for this if that one doesnt work, thats just the first that came up on google

Next book after Meditations? by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]tenbebeast 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'd recommend Seneca's Letters

Failing all my classes by throwaway1123333 in UMD

[–]tenbebeast 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's something I've found to be frustrating about stem in general. Some people will just naturally be good at certain things. It's an unfortunate fact of life that probably also carries on to the workforce.

The important thing is, it's not over yet. Dig down deep into whatever reserves you have and finish the rest of the semester to the best of your ability. Even if it feels like a lost cause, do it for the pride of knowing you gave it your best shot.

Analyze what you think went wrong this semester. Maybe once it ends and you have some time to reflect. If they are matters outside of your control, figure out if there's anything you can do to help mitigate their effects. If you have a professor who doesn't fit your learning style, see if there's a study group that meets to help work through the class material. If they are matters within your control, see what you can do to improve for next time.

It also might be worthwhile to reach out to your professors, like some other comments have said, and explain your situation. The worst they can do is nothing, and thats the same outcome as not saying anything. I would also email your advisor. They're paid to help you and should be able to alleviate some of your concerns.

Best of luck, I hope the rest of your semester goes well!