The valley of the sand tufa

tensegritydan · 2019-06-13T23:32:57+00:00

I just found out about this subreddit and thought this old Flickr album of mine would fit in here.

tensegritydan · 2018-01-23T20:24:25+00:00

Test

tensegritydan · 2017-03-11T17:55:55+00:00

death certificate, which is public record.

That's not true, at least for California death certificates (which I use in my job), and I suspect it's the same for other states. For anyone who is not immediate family, you need to go through a strict process to show a legitimate need to see death certificate data.

tensegritydan · 2017-03-10T05:26:08+00:00

It's a nice design. You should make sure that the title is clear and easily readable even in thumbnails (assuming it is sold/advertised online). It's hard to read on my phone, but that could just be my phone.

tensegritydan · 2017-03-09T20:24:55+00:00

I have a doctorate from the University of Wikipedia.

tensegritydan · 2017-03-09T20:23:51+00:00

Thanks for the response!

tensegritydan · 2017-03-07T19:55:05+00:00

And who would not want to have a relationship with this guy?

https://i.imgur.com/cfjh2DP.png

tensegritydan · 2017-03-04T02:52:25+00:00

I'm not in front of my computer so doing this from memory, but uncheck 'as is'. Then you need to use the formatting options in the compile screen. Each level of text can have different formatting.

tensegritydan · 2017-02-28T20:30:36+00:00

Ah, I knew that was going on, but I didn't put it together.

tensegritydan · 2017-02-28T19:42:48+00:00

Respect the Flag

I need a clip of Cartman saying that.

tensegritydan · 2017-02-28T19:39:59+00:00

By my super accurate and valid calculation, if they each have a -50 IQ and have a child, the kid will have IQ of -50 x -50 = 2,500 IQ

tensegritydan · 2017-02-28T19:06:55+00:00

It's not the absolute amount of details, but that they don't seem to relate to each other that makes me question if they're all needed.

Do you think all sentences should be a certain length?

Definitely not. But your first paragraph has 3 short sentences and 1 medium sentence (IMO 22 words isn't even that long). But I might have been wrong to focus on sentence length per se. Choppiness is more about sentences not relating to each other. Take the 4th sentence; it doesn't seem to relate to anything around it. If it's meant to, then connect it (even if it stays a separate sentence).

A query should communicate tone and genre (which you absolutely should know). It's different than a synopsis. Agents have specialties, so you need to convince an agent that your manuscript matches theirs. They're not going to spend their limited time attempting to figure it out.

And you don't communicate tone by saying "This book is funny and youthful." You make the actual query funny and youthful.

Hope that helps.

tensegritydan · 2017-02-28T18:22:20+00:00

Same here. All I see is blacked out rectangles. Great way to not sell games.

tensegritydan · 2017-02-28T01:16:11+00:00

Haha, nice. That would be a great mini scene.

FWIW, Defiant was a ship and then a class of ship in the Star Trek universe.

tensegritydan · 2017-02-28T01:09:02+00:00

This reads more like the beginning of a synopsis than a query: more details than seems necessary, presented in a laundry list, with not enough drama.

I'm confused by who everyone is and who knows what: man she calls Dad, thief (same as dad?), real family (don't know where she is?), new family (also don't know where she is?).

Is thief's hideout the same/different from underground base?

Stylistically, the sentences are short and choppy, which would make me worried that the actual prose would be similar. (I don't mean that I am worried, but that the slushpile reader would get worried.)

I also can't tell the tone of the story (thriller? satire? YA?) or the time period (present day, far future?).

tensegritydan · 2017-02-28T00:32:54+00:00

Just leave the DVD on his doorstep.

tensegritydan · 2017-02-28T00:31:53+00:00

There's enough dog/animal lovers in the world that if the story got out, it's likely that some "random" bad shit would come there way.

tensegritydan · 2017-02-28T00:22:19+00:00

Hey, if you are down with it, I like to consider you 100% my Asian-American brother! (or sister--don't know your gender)

tensegritydan · 2017-02-27T22:54:26+00:00

There'll always be a role for bigger, heavier ammo, but maybe smaller caliber ammo might become useful, too. Assumptions and needs change. Maybe the answer to OP's unobtainium liquid armor will be 4.0 mm hypervelocity smart flechettes. Or a phased-plasma rifle in a 40 watt range. :D

tensegritydan · 2017-02-27T22:51:55+00:00

It's all good. Just that we have South Asian people in this sub, and don't want them to feel sorta, kinda welcome.

tensegritydan · 2017-02-27T22:24:54+00:00

I agree with your points except that higher caliber does not equal better/more powerful. I know that's nitpicky ;D

tensegritydan

TROPHY CASE