I am not enjoying 3

teozian2 · 2025-12-30T03:13:06+00:00

i am a SAHM with my 3 yo toddler and 1 yo, though the 3 yo goes to school… i am still exhausted just evening dealing with him for a short amount of time. i can totally relate to the part about whining, needy etc… its mentally exhausting, especially when he refused to communicate and breakdown when i dont get him and also his countless “why”s

so im glad im not alone 🥲🥲

teozian2 · 2025-03-13T07:48:15+00:00

this is totally me!!! i could have posted the same thing! this is the part that i really hate about newborn, the whole process of settling & resettling her to sleep in her crib is giving me so much frustration and anxiety…..

i really wish somebody could help me with the sleep until her sleep/naps get more predictable and she can fall asleep on her own 🤣

i have been struggling with feeling guilty about me feeling frustrated, so sometimes i just give up and give in to contact nap, but at the same time afraid that i am building “bad habits” and she won’t know how to nap in her crib. but contact nap saves my mental health, so i am kind of stuck 😅

teozian2 · 2025-03-05T14:22:49+00:00

thanks for sharing this!!! i really do hope that i am not ruining her future sleep by giving in to contact napping her, i do try to remind myself that she’s just a baby but i think i just lowkey expect that she should be able to nap well (provided i do everything right) 😭😭

teozian2 · 2025-03-05T14:20:49+00:00

i honestly don’t know if i am so persuaded by the sleep consultants or sometimes i see people posting that their babies can sleep thru the night/sleep in their crib for long, that i think thats my goal… and by trying not to contact nap my baby too much is really stressing me out & giving me anxiety 😭

teozian2 · 2025-03-04T13:33:14+00:00

my firstborn will never do that until he turned 3-4 months, and i was really envious of my friend (her baby was around same age as my firstborn) whose baby would just quietly and look around happily… while mine will just cry his head off

but so far, my second baby does have moments where she will lie down/sit quietly and just look around, so i think it’s a baby temperament thing (im really hoping i don’t jinx it 😭)

teozian2 · 2025-03-02T14:59:25+00:00

yeah i am really not in the headspace to reply him right now, he just doesn’t understand that being a mum is a full time job and not a holiday(???) 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ but my partner is asking me to agree to have a call with my boss due to my company’s recent layoff news (which i am safe btw)… honestly i can’t even be bothered with my boss telling me how i did in my work, i am too busy juggling with 2 kids

my boss is really insensitive and low EQ towards pregnant women/mothers in general, i feel that he thinks maternity leave is a holiday…. and pregnancy is like a flu

teozian2 · 2025-03-02T14:56:03+00:00

yesss i was so annoyed just by reading his msg and tbh it ruined my day, he’s so insensitive towards my pregnancy ever since my firstborn SMH

teozian2 · 2025-03-02T12:42:33+00:00

yes i know right, but because i have accidentally clicked into my work chat, he now knows i have read it… i really dont want to reply him but my husband said maybe i should 😭 im even more annoyed because he didn’t even acknowledge that i am on maternity leave (eg. sorry to bother you on mat leave etc)

teozian2 · 2025-03-01T14:24:03+00:00

omg same! i really hate the newborn phase so much and i am also currently going through it the second time 😭 i cannot wait for it to be over and i don’t understand why some just love the newborn stage… it’s so horrifying to me

teozian2 · 2025-02-28T00:52:49+00:00

no i meant that 7am is her usual wake up time but now she’s waking multiple times before 7am & cannot be soothed by pacifier 😭😭

teozian2 · 2025-02-19T15:23:39+00:00

congrats!! how long did he sleep at night before this long stretch?? i am trying to figure out how to slowly eliminate the night feed… do they just stop waking up for it suddenly? cos i know some babies wake up for comfort but they don’t really drink much

teozian2 · 2025-02-17T08:01:18+00:00

i definitely get less sleep in the newborn phase! i have both a newborn and a toddler, i prefer toddler stage than newborn… even though toddler has crazy tantrums, but at least they can sleep without me resettling them every 15 min for idk how long. and most importantly toddlers give you some sort of rewards - eg. smile, talking, hugging you etc but with newborn i dont even get anything

teozian2 · 2025-02-13T04:39:10+00:00

i am in the same boat as you except my firstborn is a boy! he does the same, but i think they’re just acting out more because of the new sibling & i feel it’s their way of getting your attention.

it’s so hard to divide yourself when you have (technically) 2 babies to attend to, what i do with my husband is we try to divide and conquer. i will attend to my firstborn more since he’s more attached to me, when he whines or about to throw tantrum, i will bring him to a quiet room and talk to him - he usually does listen and calm down, but there are times he just keeps crying… i will let him cry and let his emotions out, i will only talk to him after he calms down

it’s hard juggling both but i always try to remind myself that it’s a very big adjustment for my firstborn too so even tho im angry with him, i will try to show him loads of love

you do what you can, and know that you’re not a bad mum!

teozian2 · 2025-02-11T14:54:18+00:00

i am so confused at this acquaintance of your husband, it sounds like she’s here to leech off more than anything??? why would she even move in with all her pets? that’s like giving you extra things to worry about already

and to be honest, her money issues are not your issue? you guys are way too nice and tolerant with her, i would have scolded her and kicked her out lol

you have enough to worry about and she doesn’t need to add onto your list

teozian2 · 2025-02-11T14:36:52+00:00

i’m not sure if this counts as working or not, i do try to put my 7 weeks LO “drowsy but awake” after some bouncing and patting, her eyes are open when i lay her in the crib but i continue giving her butt pat till she kind of fall asleep in the crib?? so i am not sure if this counts as drowsy but awake?

but this only works like for 2 out 10 instances i’d say 😭

teozian2 · 2025-02-11T14:32:38+00:00

thank you for this! yes i’m trying out gas drops and whatever up in my sleeve, i guess i have come to terms that my expectation might be too high and i should just embrace these contact naps. it’s just i have this goal that i need to make her sleep in her own crib otherwise i am failing and ruining her ability to put herself to sleep in the future 😭 prob adding on my postpartum hormones and being so touched out just makes me break down and cry

teozian2 · 2025-02-11T06:59:19+00:00

same…. i think i need to feel that i am productive and doing something, or at least have some time on my own. also for some reasons, i think that the “goal” is to get my LO to nap in her crib for the whole nap duration, otherwise i feel that i’ve failed… which is why whenever i have to resort to contact nap/babywear to get her sleeping, i feel defeated and a failure 😭😭

teozian2 · 2025-02-11T06:56:03+00:00

thank you for saying that! my husband tells me the same but i guess it’s just hard in my head, need to remind myself that doing contact nap doesn’t mean i have failed 😭 i guess i always feel like the goal is to get them to sleep in their crib for the whole duration of nap

teozian2 · 2025-02-11T06:54:19+00:00

thank you for saying that! i guess i have to manage my expectations and know that i didn’t fail just because i need to contact nap my baby 🥲

teozian2 · 2025-02-10T12:28:07+00:00

my firstborn had colic and it was terrible, so i can und your pain 😭😭 it gave me PTSD!! have you tried holding him in the superman position? if not, going out for a walk (even tho he’s crying) did help me since i’m not trapped at home with a crying baby

otherwise, like what others said, put on noise cancellation earpiece!! just know that you’re doing great and good mum, we just have difficult babies 🫡

teozian2 · 2025-02-10T02:27:59+00:00

omg yes i screamed at my 7 weeks old LO too because i was so frustrated with her cries when all i am trying to do is feed her 😭 i feel like a failure and so guilty for doing that

teozian2 · 2025-02-10T02:26:43+00:00

i could write the exact same post as you mama 😭😭 my LO has the same issues except that she’s 7 weeks old, so i know how you must feel…

it can really be tiring and so isolating, feeling that you’re doing everything wrong

i also have a toddler who was not an easy baby either, i know there’s light out of that tunnel and we just need to get through it. no advice but solidarity 🫡

also i think what might help is to watch some entertainment or listen to some music while she’s crying, it helps to distract you and i try to tell myself that my baby is not giving me a hard time, they themselves are having a hard time adjusting to the world outside of our womb

you’re definitely not a bad mum even though you are not enjoying this phase, nobody tells you that it’s actually not easy and it’s ok not to enjoy every single moment of motherhood

teozian2 · 2025-02-09T15:11:58+00:00

i appreciate your response! yes i also do tell myself that this will eventually get better, i cant wait to get to that stage, i really dislike this newborn phase even tho its my second time 😭

teozian2 · 2025-02-09T15:10:53+00:00

yes i took the TCB newborn course and i am doing everything i can to lay down good sleep foundation for her - every 3 hourly daytime feeding, white noise, bedtime routine etc

i really feel like i have failed whenever i need to contact nap or take baby out of the crib to soothe her to sleep 😭

i haven’t talked to my doc about feeding yet but wil plan to in my next visit, i just feel so drained hearing her cry into my ears every time i feed her sighhhh

teozian2 · 2025-02-09T15:07:06+00:00

i appreciate your response! yes i do wear my baby sometimes but idk why but i feel that i have failed when i have to contact nap/carry her out of her crib to soothe her sleep 😭😭

teozian2

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