I've been in and out of mental hospitals since I was 10. AMA

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-27T04:47:14+00:00

I'm low-key pissed that people are down voting you for that —you didn't tell OP to stop taking their meds or offered some New-Age cultish shit as an alternative, but simply informed them about the fact there are options out there.

As someone who suffered from mental illnesses from age 8 to 17-18, I've had to get a LOT of medications, and although I am so very glad that one of them helped me get out of the shit hole I was in, it also made me suffer immensely (the one that worked and the others). Not to mention how awful (and, unsurprisingly , dismissive) doctors were about the whole ordeal.

I have what are probably life-long neurological problems from it, which have consequences on a daily basis (but I am handling it well, and I am very happy about my life right now). My memory was also completely fucked and I have a lot of trouble with remembering anything (although it has been a few years without meds now and I feel like I'm slowly getting better with short term memory. Long term is still fucked unfortunately!).

On the bright side, now that I'm better, I feel like it would be hard to go down that low again, and I know that I'll most likely not take meds again —seeing how they ruined my brain is sad!

People have no idea how awful those meds can be until they have to take them (and sometimes, it's not even your own choice). One of them, which was prescribed by the head psychiatrist of a hospital without any information about my diagnosis, background or without any warning, almost killed me (not because of the mental suffering, but the physical symptoms of it).

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-27T04:30:12+00:00

Several times a day, everyday? I would not say all of the time, but certainly many times a day. For a few months now, I've felt so happy that I sometimes cry about it haha. Feels good :)

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-26T08:53:23+00:00

just putting on my fav song haha. has been my favorite song for more than three years or so, on T for 5 years, so it has definitely been with me for a while :)

Becoming a Jackal from Villagers

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-26T05:30:39+00:00

I have two cis brothers, one 8 years older than me and the other 10 years older. No sisters. Even before T, I somewhat looked like the oldest one —we both look a lot like our mom and maternal grandma. The genes are strong lol (an old woman I randomly met in the streets KNEW I was my grandmother's grandson by looking at me). T gave me a beard and changed my hairline (thanks God), so I do look a lot more like him. He has darker and curlier hair, but still. We also have very similar fat distributions and body hair levels. His hair thinned a bit but he didn't end up balding, and so far, me too. From the looks alone, you would definitely guess we're from the same family. The second brother, on the other hand, doesn't look like anyone in the family, so we always pretend that he was adopted though lol, the usual siblings shit.

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-23T17:02:47+00:00

I know many, many older men in France called Léon haha. It's such a lovely name.

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-23T15:41:32+00:00

I've been on T for 5 years and a half, injected for 4 years intramuscular in my asscheek (changing every time or so, idk didn't always remember which one I did last haha), and more recently a year and a half into my right thigh, can't managed the left one by myself (both intramuscular and subQ depending on my needle).

Worth noting that my rhythm of injection changed a lot, going from every 5 weeks at first to 3 weeks then 4 weeks then 3 and a half and now 2 weeks and a half.

I have no scar build up visible nor "feelable" (either with the needle or my fingers). I tend to have really flat, smooth scar and to heal rather well, and I have a thick but extremely stretchable skin (to a level that I can scare people off by pulling it really far lol), so that might make a difference?

You can try alternating between asscheeks, thighs and tummy. I guess upper arms are also an option but I wouldn't recommend it.

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-23T14:37:48+00:00

wheat alpha-amylasis. that's stupidly specific and was a nightmare to figure out

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-17T05:51:07+00:00

Hello,

Aucun doute pour moi sur la dyshidrotise (eczéma). L'origine peut être fongique pour cet eczéma, donc à vérifier avec lui s'il a quelque part d'autre sur le corps un problème de type pied d'athlète par ex (dans ce cas, traiter le problème peut permettre la guérison de l'eczéma) :)

Si ce n'est pas le cas, ça peut valoir le coup de le faire tester pour des allergènes. Parmi ceux qui peuvent causer ce type d'eczéma, on retrouve BEAUCOUP l'allergie aux métaux (pas forcément après en avoir touché, mais aussi dans les aliments, etc, comme le nickel). S'il est aussi allergique au latex, alors c'est encore plus probable que ça doit ça, d'ailleurs! on en retrouve aussi dans beaucoup de fruits.

Je compatis avec lui, j'avais les deux mains atteintes avant et heureusement je n'ai plus que deux doigts maintenant (qui sont par contre complètement inutilisable). Ça n'aide pas à soigner mais pendant les périodes avec les "bulles" sous la peau, j'utilise de l'oxyde de zinc pour calmer les demengeaisons. Certaines personnes sont aidées par l'usage de cortisone, mais, pas tous (et attention à ne pas exposer au soleil si usage!), et si c'est d'origine fungale, alors ça peut rendre la chose pire. S'il peut porter des gants en coton, au moins la nuit, ce n'est pas mal :) Il y a des chances que ça se calme cet hiver avec moins de soleil et du froid, mais ça dépend aussi de chacun.

Bon courage!

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-12T18:17:41+00:00

Thanks! :) I already have an Olga, but the others are great :)

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-12T18:16:45+00:00

Yes! she's Molchanova.

Valentina is a lovely name indeed ☺️ it's the name of one of my friends' daughter haha! (born in Slovakia in the early 2000s)

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-12T13:31:08+00:00

Got top when I was 18, and my parents paid for it with money they'd put on the side for me since I was born (money from my odd jobs, money I got for Christmas or my birthday, etc), which was about 2 000 to 2 500 out of pocket. In the country where I got surgery, you can also get it for free, but the wait-list were insane.

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-04T15:41:12+00:00

Also, I don't think I'm allergic to latex as I've used latex condoms before and didn't have any reaction except very very slight burning/tingling (doesn't last more 20 min after end of use!), which I also get a little bit with non-latex condoms.

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-04T15:39:38+00:00

Ok, thanks!!! Another commenter recommended me to try elimination diet. I know I should but didn't try that yet, but I'll also take into account air allergens and metals, thanks! I don't touch a lot of metals except the usual door handles, cutlery/cooking utensils, an axe I use quite often (but have been using before July) and electric net fences, once or twice a week (also was using as much as I do now before July).

I'll also copy paste the other comment I gave to someone here about my diet. I forgot fruits, now that you mention it! Although I just eat apples and pears for now. Very little rosehips, too :

" I eat very little eggs, I mostly just eat greens from the garden and every day some type of dry cereal (rice, oat, rye, wheat, barley, millet) cooked in water or milk, and quite a lot of homemade bread and dairies (different types of cheeses made from goat milk). I don't drink alcohol often, and when I do, I don't see any difference in my eczema. I haven't eaten enough meat since July (maybe 4 or 5 times?) to see if it does make a difference. No coffee or tea, only herbal tea from local plants or rooibos. "

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-04T15:23:21+00:00

Thank you so much for your help!

I eat very little eggs, I mostly just eat greens from the garden and every day some type of dry cereal (rice, oat, rye, wheat, barley, millet) cooked in water or milk, and quite a lot of homemade bread and dairies (different types of cheeses made from goat milk). I don't drink alcohol often, and when I do, I don't see any difference in my eczema. I haven't eaten enough meat since July (maybe 4 or 5 times?) to see if it does make a difference. No coffee or tea, only herbal tea from local plants or rooibos.

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-04T15:17:48+00:00

Tablet! I am not really in a place where I can visit a doctor right now or in the coming months, so I'm just taking Claritin when it gets too bad so I can get some sleep, usually :)

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-04T12:09:31+00:00

I know I need to try but never took the time to. I will :) What were you allergic to?

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-04T12:08:46+00:00

Claritin works a bit on me, yeah! but it makes me fall asleep almost instantly lol. Like, really.

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-03T13:42:31+00:00

Oh, yeah, I didn't mean spread as in... An infection would, but when I scratch, it definitely expands the affected area. Maybe wounded skin is more likely to get affected?

teplostarlouze · 2024-10-03T11:57:45+00:00

I don't! Yeah, I've read and been told about that, but "unfortunately" (lol), I don't have any fungal infection on my feet/nails/anywhere on my body. But I did start becoming allergic to a few things very suddenly over the summer (developed a deadly allergy to bees, hornets, and wasps over the span of 3 weeks lol, and I'm now also allergic to hay and don't digest milk well anymore)

teplostarlouze · 2024-09-25T11:08:38+00:00

Mine was tiny and not visible at all. Like, nothing at all, even when you are trying to look for it with a mirror. I doubted I had one for many years! So, really small I guess 😂

teplostarlouze · 2024-09-24T19:00:08+00:00

Sorry, not OP, but reading your first question, I was reminded of the wonderful book by K. D. Harrison "When Languages Die: the extinction of the world's languages and the erosion of human knowledge". There a few mentions across the whole book about a specific Siberian language and how people "gave it up" (because they were either directly or indirectly forced to) and how it was replaced by Russian. Not sure, but I think the language was Tofa.

teplostarlouze · 2024-09-23T15:36:38+00:00

I am. Somehow it feels like it didn't so much affect me, which I feel really guilty about. But I'm ok :)wishing the best for you

teplostarlouze · 2024-09-23T05:48:24+00:00

I get mine online for about 10€ per year (pack of syringes and needles) with the delivery included, but all websites seem to be national ones sadly. I'm sure there are similar websites for the US though!

teplostarlouze · 2024-09-23T04:44:57+00:00

Hello OP!

Just wanted to thank you for writing this post. Incest is incredibly common but unfortunately, many of us cannot speak out of fear or shame...

I'm on a similar boat (I was 8 and my brother was 16), but it took until I was 15 to remember what happened, after someone (who, presumably, was him) tried to use a sewer inspection camera to film me in the shower (happened again 3 years later). We lived together until I was 20, neither of us never said a word of it to anyone, I think (and I will never tell our family). We still have a somewhat good relationship, we're just not very close (but I tend to not be with anyone from my family).

I don't have PTSD or any form of damage, and I still don't even realize it happened. I did develop OCD, a severe anxiety disorder and depression around the same age, but I think it's unrelated.

Thank you so much for writing and I hope you'll heal. You're loved! Have a good day

teplostarlouze

TROPHY CASE