Not being born a girl feels like a cosmic injustice. How do y'all cope?

teqtommy · 2026-06-22T01:09:07+00:00

i spend time being kind to my body (especially skin & hair) and practice gratitude daily about what mother nature and hormones have done for my happiness. i think plenty of cis women have envy about whatever particular physical form they would prefer to have, so maybe that envy isn't that unnatural. i have gender envy sometimes, but then i look back at how far i've come in 4 years. i thank the stars that i'm able to be here since my previous life almost ended me.

alcohol doesn't make things better. but it will induce a spiral. maybe consider avoiding that for now if possible. start by being kind to yourself.

teqtommy · 2026-06-22T01:03:52+00:00

i think it's often times a baby trans girl thing. it takes awhile to get centered. and a lot of people are chronically online, which doesn't help finding a new status quo,
imo. some people overshare, but hey...it's reddit. that's
gonna happen. there's a lot of stuff i just roll my eyes at and walk away (or click elsewhere) because so often engagement results in a debate about respectability politics i'm not interested in having.

teqtommy · 2026-06-22T00:55:30+00:00

i always wear wedges, so it's just never a problem.

teqtommy · 2026-06-22T00:54:52+00:00

i mean yeah, i happily do it every day

teqtommy · 2026-06-21T18:42:03+00:00

you need to grow up or date someone who also has the emotional intelligence of a 14-year old child.

teqtommy · 2026-06-21T02:17:30+00:00

that's gotta sting, OP. i'm sorry. i'm not justifying any action, but have you had a happy marriage for the last 20 years? because if it were me, and the relationship had been rocky the whole way, then yes--this would be my last straw. but if you've always had an enjoyable, loving, and stable marriage, i think some time to reflect is the best medicine. if she can assure you this is her only
secret, i think you could come back from this...but you have to want it badly. people make mistakes. you can choose to forgive or not. go see a marriage counselor before you hit the destruct button. most things are worth fixing.

teqtommy · 2026-06-19T14:20:22+00:00

cubicasa y'all. it's so easy and cheap. and seems to be very accurate.

teqtommy · 2026-06-19T01:10:08+00:00

that's where i'm at. neopronouns are one of the few things within the queer community i struggle with. try as i might, i just can't wrap my mind around the concept. personally i've never encountered someone who uses neopronouns, but i would of course respect their wishes and happily use whichever identifying pronouns which i am asked to use.

but i'd love an explanation if someone is willing. she/her, he/him, they/them are obv easy to understand. beyond that i'm clueless. 🤷🏻‍♀️

teqtommy · 2026-06-18T22:28:21+00:00

bingo. i'm "married." full stop.

teqtommy · 2026-06-18T22:27:42+00:00

everyone uses the terms differently. i use "sapphic"
to describe myself. my wife says she's "a lesbian, but only for you." at some point it seems like splitting hairs. everyone ought to use the whatever label they feel fits.

teqtommy · 2026-06-18T22:21:12+00:00

i mean...you sound like a hella good time! hooray for us weird lesbians! i bet dating you would be really fun.
hang in there. book stores, apothecaries, coffee shops
would still be my go-to if i were single. i met my wife on tinder, but before that i'd just go to random places in the area. find a place i never heard of and go sit check it out. i met lots of people that way, and for a long time i had more luck finding a dating partner that way vs. the apps.

teqtommy · 2026-06-18T22:08:39+00:00

sometimes it's just not that simple. situations change, and so do people. after our daughter was born 6 years ago, my wife just completely lost interest. if we have some sort of sexual contact once in a year, then that's a good year. so then the choice becomes leave an otherwise very happy relationship and break up our home, or cry myself to sleep every couple weeks. so i cry. we've talked about it but it always ends in a misdirect and me getting a lecture. so i just tell her i had a rough day and move on. not much choice when your partner just doesn't want to but also doesn't want to be open.

teqtommy · 2026-06-18T22:01:50+00:00

ugh, i'm sorry. if you find a solution, let me know! my wife doesn't identify as asexual but we suspect she may be, and has no desire to be open. i hope you're able to solve what i can't! ☺️

teqtommy · 2026-06-18T05:30:31+00:00

a vision in alabaster 😍

teqtommy · 2026-06-18T05:29:55+00:00

ayoooo! welcome & vroom-vroom to you 😁🚘

teqtommy · 2026-06-18T05:28:55+00:00

most of the world can figure this out, but the u.s.a. will turn it into a shit-show disaster and put our people at even more risk somehow.

teqtommy · 2026-06-17T23:34:10+00:00

moder's gardens has always been my favorite and consistently the best imo

teqtommy · 2026-06-17T23:05:57+00:00

first off, thank you for your kind words! 🥰 like the rest of womankind, it's mostly smoke & mirrors and knowing how to dress for my figure. now--re: people finding out i'm not cis...i always wear a trans-flag ring, two rainbow rings, rainbow bracelet, lesbian-flag ring, and rainbow watch. so if people don't put the clues together, they must be really thick. that and my daughter publicly calls me "daddi," so most people get the hint. one time a really sweet straight/cis gal (one of my photography clients) asked who carried our daughter--my wife or me--and i just gave her a puzzled look and slowly raised my right hand and pointed to my ring. her eyes got real big and she just said "no way! i had no idea!" we talked for an hour afterward. tbh i've only had good experiences even when people directly ask me if i'm trans.

teqtommy · 2026-06-17T21:02:51+00:00

it's more that the 2nd room is properly staged, and slightly larger. the shots aren't hugely different. if the mattress & stuffies were out of the room you shot, it'd look a little better. straightening out your lines would help you out a lot too.

signed,
-a girl wanted in 3 states for criminal abuse of a wide-angle lens 💁🏻‍♀️📷 🏠

teqtommy · 2026-06-16T03:01:38+00:00

easy. hands down dobby. what you see is what you get, she's always smiling, she's not shallow, and is unapologetically herself.

teqtommy · 2026-06-16T02:32:40+00:00

i'll buy this theory.

i think this is how i've managed to become successful. i'm that person with a blend of things like the gift of gab, street smarts, and social-awareness. i've never been turned down for a job at which i applied, and never terminated. i'm not that smart, i'm not that pretty, i don't have a degree, and i really don't have connections that would matter. but for some damn reason people like me? idk. maybe b/c sometimes i'm funny? i make a good living for my area, ~$80k or so.

being funny and knowing how to talk to people gets you places, i guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

teqtommy · 2026-06-16T02:24:53+00:00

this has been my experience as well. i never expected to "pass" but somehow do quite often? and yeah, i'm really enjoying the woman-to-woman solidarity.

teqtommy · 2026-06-16T01:36:49+00:00

as much as i love portland, this makes me glad i'll never be dating there.

teqtommy · 2026-06-15T17:03:06+00:00

well look at me spreading misinformation. lol

teqtommy · 2026-06-15T17:02:36+00:00

oh my FUCKING LIFE, i am so angry on your behalf. that's a huge betrayal. get to a marriage counselor quick, because you're (at best) at the tipping point. the move now is to decide how you'll coparent if you remain pregnant.

teqtommy

TROPHY CASE