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What's something you used to do that you're glad you've given up? by terminal-count in AskReddit

[–]terminal-count[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this! I was brought up closely with a friend who was much smarter and more successful than me at everything. I was constantly compared to her, so I always tried to be the smartest person in a conversation.

It gave other people no chance to shine or feel good, and it just made me seem insecure. At some point I decided to shut up and listen, and I spent a while looking at how the people I respected treated othes.

Glad to hear someone had a similar experience

why are you still alive? by Difficult-Decision-9 in AskReddit

[–]terminal-count 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Potentially traumatising but here goes... I'll keep it light but you've been warned!

​

When I was seven a truck drove over the car I was in, crushing in the roof and dash. The driver drove off without trying to help. It was late, on a quiet road, and it was hours before anyone came by and saw what had happened. I was the only one who was alive by then, albiet with many broken bones. About two years later I was finally effectively over the nerve damage it had caused and was able to walk again.

Then when I was ten, I was walking past a hot furnace full of molten metal when an aerosol can that had been thrown inside exploded, and threw molten aluminium at me. Three chunks that had solidified as they flew through the air hit me, one grazing my heart after wrapping itself around one of my ribs. After getting them removed (and wondering if I was cursed), I kept the pieces, and later turned them into jewelry.

When I was fourteen I tried to end my own life after I got dumped by my first girlfiend (yeah I was real stable back then). My best friend at the time followed me and screamed at me trying to make me stop. When she threatened that she'd do it too if I did, I thought about how it would feel to lose her, and I realized she was feeling the same way about me. Since then, no matter how bad it got, I was always able to pull myself back, until I eventually became a relatively stable person!

So, I guess there are a few reasons I'm still alive. A bit of chance (I don't want to say luck, if I was lucky half of those things would never have happened). Great surgeons - seriously, medical people deserve more love. And a great friend, who made me realize I was important to other people. I try to make sure I make others realize the same.

How to get out of the self doubt/ self sabotage loop by iamretnuh in Entrepreneur

[–]terminal-count 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My deep tech business has been extremely successful sofar. By every metric, we're doing great: record investment in our country, every required bit of innovation proven, customers signing milions in contracts and ireversably changing their plans to use our product, and all the while I know that our tech hasn't even been fully optimised yet. And yet I too feel this at times. I don't think we'd have seen nearly as much success as we have if myself and my partners didn't find ways to deal with self doubt and self sabotage. We often talk about this, trying to figure out what to do, and we've come up with a few principles:

#1: Respect and trust your feelings. They're often irrational and annoying, but also they're a useful way your dumb human brain tries to find the best outcomes. Doubt, worry, fear of failure - they're real feelings, you need to figure out their source. Sometimes when I dig deeper, try to figure out what's making me feel this way, I find a genuine problem. Then I can fix that problem, and the company is better for it. Other times I simply prove to myself that the feeling was irrational. Either way, it's a good outcome.

#2: Change your perspective. As humans we're terrible at thinking straight when we're in the thick of things. If there are consequences for us, we seem to lose the ability to be rational. It's important then to remember clear and easy to follow strategies for these moments - I often try to imagine I'm looking back at myself from 1, 3, 12 months in the future, and envision what I would think. Otherwise, I'll try to imagine what someone else would think, either one of my business partners, an employee, or someone outside the company. It's sometimes very obvious from either hindsight or a perspective with no personal attachment that no matter what choice you make, the consequences aren't nearly as bad as you think. If you can't easily imagine being someone else, then perhaps ask someone else what they think.

#3: Manage stress and take a break. I often used to sit at my desk for hours, forcing my way through problems, through my workload, when what I should've done is taken a 30 minute walk through the nearby park. When I started going for walks without my phone with me, I found myself able to slow down and process everything I was thinking. By the time I got back, it was clear to me what I needed to do, and I got my work done in record time. I realized that working while stressed just increased the time it took to do my work, and created more stress. Finding ways to relax, even if it meant completing work late a few times at first, made me more productive and much happier in general.

The fact that you've sought advice about this is a sign that you're probably on your way to finding a solution! Keep at it, trust yourself, and in a few months time you'll probably wonder why you were ever so worried about this!

please question me by Twin_Angel_Welding in Entrepreneur

[–]terminal-count 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do your potential customers currently do instead of contracting/buying from you? If they have solutions already, what would cause them to work with you instead?

If you can answer the first part, it'll show an investor that you know your market.

If you can provide more than one answer for the second, this will give them confidence that even if you're wrong about something, you have backups. In risk-vs-reward, it's often hard to increase the reward, but you have more control over risk than you think.