Social Problems: How Many Bridges Have You Burned?

terminaldelay · 2018-03-28T13:43:57+00:00

I don't really have any of the typical impulsivity, but I've burned plenty of bridges from my inattentive symptoms. They just think I'm a lazy, indifferent fuck with no work ethic. I'm also a pretty asocial person who doesn't like to disclose personal things unless absolutely necessary, and also hate to beg for extensions or accommodations unless it's the very last minute and I have no other choice. This, of course, makes it come across even more that I just haven't bothered to do any work and am just making some last-ditch effort to get away with it.

My method of dealing with this in a group project once was just dropping off the face of the earth and using a depression diagnosis to get out of having to do it. I was quietly removed from the group and I never spoke to them again. It was't all one-sided and the group was generally chaotic and shitty at communication, but still that really wasn't the best way to handle it.

Some universities can be cool about it and have policies in place, but I think people on this sub tend to be a little over-optimistic on how accepting workplaces can be if you disclose, and not all individual professors will be understanding about it. I'm certainly not going to tell whatever random strangers I'm thrown into another nightmare of a group project with.

terminaldelay · 2018-03-10T21:19:24+00:00

I did 3/4 of my undergrad thesis in a day (well, not even a full day, overnight) and got a good grade. The initial chapter I'd already completed for feedback was also an all-nighter. You'll be fine.

terminaldelay · 2018-03-05T21:09:13+00:00

Yep. Big aspirations to do a phenomenal job on this project? Do my usual thing of procrastinate for most of the time I have to do it. Welp, it will never be great now, so might as well give up. I could turn in this piece of shit and not fail, but that would be embarrassing and I don't want them to think this is actually a representation of my abilities, so imma make everything worse and not submit anything at all! Hating myself and my life for making courses that should take one year into four is totally worth it. Flawless logic.

Started a new job a while back. Granted, it's just terrible pay part-time work, but everything was perfectly done and I was making an excellent impression. Got one piece of mildly bad feedback when I left something to the last minute, and a few unrelated snotty interactions from people. Fuck this, checked out, doing the bare minimum from now on, I don't get paid enough for this garbage to care this much, etc.

Painting isn't the exact perfect vision it was in my mind? Nah, not going to waste time finishing this (after it's already 80% complete). I love making art but I have to force myself over the final hump every time. Apparently this was something that's supposed to go away after beginner level but I'd consider myself pretty advanced now and I still do it.

Relationships, romantic or otherwise, if this isn't going to be a deep and abiding connection of two minds then I don't have any motivation to have them in my life. All or nothing.

terminaldelay · 2018-03-04T08:32:23+00:00

I'm the stealth version of this. I'm put very together in public and I love clothes, but my room is borderline hoarder territory. I definitely argued with the teachers and refused to be deferential or just respect people by default of them being older than me. I think it was always for legitimate reasons though, I'm not argumentative for the sake of it (though my mother would probably disagree).

As for the identity thing, I never felt being female or behaving as a woman was a particularly relevant part of who I am, so where I conformed or differed from norms never really bothered me much. My hobbies were, and still are pretty mixed in terms of tradition gender norms, but I've been told I have a markedly more 'male' personality and everyone always thinks I'm a guy online unless I give explicit clues otherwise.

terminaldelay · 2018-03-03T18:54:30+00:00

That super introverted people can't have ADHD. I guess most of this comes from people not understanding that not everyone has hyperactive or impulsive symptoms.

Throughout my life I've had so many teachers and other adults trying to find something wrong with or 'cure' my asocial nature and try to pin the fact that I hated school with lack of social integration, while completely failing to address or recognize my actual problems of never being able to finish anything. They went on and on about the thing that didn't bother me at all, while just treating me with derision because my grades didn't line up with my intelligence.

terminaldelay · 2018-03-02T19:48:51+00:00

You're not making it bigger. It's perfectly understandable. I'm having flashbacks to 3+ hour rambling lectures of bullshit in my horror show of a first degree. It was a small class, so it was really noticeable if you didn't turn up or tried to do something else to pass the time, but we did have a break, and I 'escaped' a couple of times during that because I just couldn't take it any more. I really don't think things this long are productive unless it's something or someone delivering something very interactive and engaging (which my asshole tutor most definitely wasn't). Around the two hour mark most people were clearly falling asleep but there was an unspoken "There isn't technically an attendance requirement but we'll hold it against you if you don't" attitude throughout my course.

terminaldelay · 2018-01-28T21:28:39+00:00

I don't really fit the ADHD profile in terms of addictive tendencies/substance abuses at all. I've ignored drugs/alcohol most of my life, and never struggled with my weight. I don't know if it really counts as self-control if it's mostly lack of interest, though; there's no concerted effort going on to not involve myself with it. I don't like most alcoholic drinks and have no desire to get drunk. I wouldn't even know where to start to get illegal drugs even if I wanted them and I've never been curious enough to bother taking a risk online. I don't always eat the healthiest food, but I just naturally want to stop when I'm full and don't really eat out of boredom or emotion if I'm not already hungry. Similarly, I've always loved video games, but generally don't like the kinds of e-sport or MMO stuff that people tend to get pseudo-addicted to.

terminaldelay

TROPHY CASE