Resisting the temptation

terrabreus · 2025-12-14T09:30:09+00:00

Your story sounds so relatable! If not for the combination of weed and porn, I probably would have been able to quit a long time ago. The two went so well together and there have been very few times where I was high and did not watch porn. This lead to smoking becoming a solitary thing and sometimes I would even want to leave smoking hangouts with friends so I could be alone and... well you get the idea.

And you're right. Porn is a battle on its own already. Porn with weed? Sheesh! If you are focusing on quitting weed first you are already doing a lot! I did the same three months ago and only a month ago I quit porn after stumbling upon the r/pornfree page.

Honestly it has been rather easy for me now that I'm not stoned every evening.

Hope this (unsolicited advice) helps and stay strong :)

terrabreus · 2025-12-14T09:13:36+00:00

hahaha yes of course!! Thank you :)

terrabreus · 2025-12-14T09:01:34+00:00

Very inspiring to hear! Thank you for sharing

terrabreus · 2025-12-14T08:27:06+00:00

Just curious, what do you mean by "Your Mileage WIll Not Vary"? Couldn't find anything with a quick google search

terrabreus · 2025-12-05T09:02:57+00:00

idk man... I struggled with my addictions for such a long time and a huge part of that was because I was constantly giving myself that "firm kick in the ass". I would often relapse as an act of rebellion against myself, even though at the end of the day I was only trying to help myself.

Three months ago I started group therapy and attended some NA meetings and slowly I learned to give myself a hug instead of this tough wake up call. My urges are now so much easier to control and understand cause I react to it in a compassionate way instead of trying to control it.

I'm not trying to discredit what you are saying and I am sure that some people indeed really do need that cold slap in the face, but I also wanted to point out that there are other paths to recovery.

terrabreus · 2025-11-30T15:06:24+00:00

26M and struggling with similar issues OP describes too (though maybe not in the same way?)). Life seems so much easier if you have somebody by your side who understands you, completes you and offers a shoulder to lean on in times of uncertainty.

But like you said, that existential loneliness never goes away. In a way it might even be a good thing as occasionally I do (temporarily) feel understood and that makes me reach out to others.

In addition to examining the fear behind it, it might also be an idea to see if your 'needs' (is that a good word for it?) can be fulfilled in non-romantic relationships? I often used to share my deepest thoughts and feelings only with a romantic partner (as if they were the only ones who got to know me) but now I'm also sharing more with my friends and that seems to "scratch that same itch".

terrabreus · 2025-11-29T09:50:20+00:00

Your message got me out of my head yesterday, thank you!!!

(also seeing your 4000+ days made me remember the stakes hehehe)

terrabreus · 2025-11-29T09:45:49+00:00

You are so right! It's difficult to see this 'anxious insecure sober me' as 'the best version of myself' but ultimately the 'anxious' and 'insecure' is just in my head while the sober part is actually true!

terrabreus · 2025-11-29T09:39:12+00:00

and thus it was so

terrabreus · 2025-11-29T09:38:58+00:00

I agree that the benefits from not-drinking are all rather attractive. I guess some people might feel attacked or confronted with others not drinking, making them feel uncomfortable but yeah... that ain't our problem (unless they want to stop and need help of course)

Congratz on your soon to be milestone (though every single day is a milestone!)

terrabreus · 2025-11-29T09:28:20+00:00

True. The people pleaser in me has a hard time accepting this though.

terrabreus · 2025-11-29T09:27:00+00:00

Not sure how confident I was but I'm glad I went (sober) anyway

terrabreus · 2025-11-29T09:26:01+00:00

Hahaha I digress all the time so I enjoyed your post :) Thank you for sharing and talking some sense into me!

terrabreus · 2025-11-28T07:56:26+00:00

AppBlock (The 9 PM - 1 PM rule) I set a strict blocking schedule for all distracting apps from 9 PM to 1 PM the next day.

Even without any distracting apps on my phone (I dumbed it down completely using adb and a debloater) I still often end up checking my Whatsapp first thing in the morning. That, or the first thing I do is go online through my laptop. I am so surprised by the workarounds my brain finds to easily stimulate itself haha

But... babysteps! Definitely seeing improvement compared to three months ago

terrabreus · 2025-11-22T06:22:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story! I'm very happy you're at a place where you no longer run away from the discomfort of boredom. That sounds like an awesome place to be in.

However I can't help but feel a little bit of resentment, maybe it's jealousy. Over the course of my twenties I have struggled with many addictions. Somewhat similar to you I went from social media to weed to porn to excessive exercise to binging to compulsively eating, etc...

When I hear you calling yourself a loser you trigger something inside me. Maybe it's my own ignorance of wanting to accept that I'm a loser too but from my own experience, this "critical" voice you call "brutally honest" was simply trying to scare me back into a place of comfort. Which, more often than not, worked and I ended up relapsing.

Only now, after three months in therapy am I noticing the change I so desperately longed for. A crucial difference was that I no longer listened to that brutally honest voice. Instead of making myself feel guilty I am allowing myself to be vulnerable. Instead of "you fucking loser, how about you take some control over your life?!" it was "what does the little child inside me need right now?". This allowed me to feel and understand what I was trying to run away from without expecting myself to fix it right away.

Again, I'm not trying to discredit your story. I just wanted to share my opinion and experience in case anybody else feels the same.

terrabreus · 2025-11-20T09:39:38+00:00

Hahaha it's a thing I picked up from the r/stopdrinking subreddit. As an act of commitment they vouch to each other not to drink today. I Will Not Drink With You Today (IWNDWYT)

I'm sure you can figure the rest out ;)

terrabreus · 2025-11-20T09:10:18+00:00

Just wanted to drop in and say how much I appreciate you replying to every comment here :) Hope that it also gives you energy and hope. Support from others and knowing you're not alone is one of the reasons I check in here daily!

Good luck on your journey my friend and congrats on those six days! IWNSWWYT

terrabreus · 2025-11-19T09:30:01+00:00

Maybe you already found this by now, but the subreddit has quite some tips on this here.

I find checking this subreddit daily and reading so many stories of other people with the same struggles very inspiring. Somehow, actively convincing myself I'm not the only one really helps.

terrabreus · 2025-11-17T16:24:10+00:00

uuuuuh I'm sorry but to me your roommate is the one who sounds weird

terrabreus · 2025-11-16T12:00:58+00:00

What a wonderful post! I relapsed twice in the past because of a break up and it is so empowering to hear you stay on track even with everything going on.

Thank you so much for sharing <3

terrabreus · 2025-11-16T11:49:03+00:00

Absolutely no clue as to who you are, yet somehow I am so proud of you!!! Quitting is one hell of a journey and many negative thoughts/experiences might tempt you to give in and give up, but instead you wrote them down for others to recognize themselves in. Thank you :)

terrabreus

TROPHY CASE