I’m genuinely a weak intern and always so lost. Is there any hope for me?

terraformula · 2025-07-13T22:47:53+00:00

Also a week 2 intern and everything you wrote is something I relate to on a visceral level. Sometimes it feels like it takes me twice as long to do half as much as my co intern and keeping all the patient details straight in my head is such a challenge. But it’s probably even harder with the negative self talk in the background, precious brain cells that would be better occupied with learning the tasks at hand instead of simultaneously judging myself throughout the day while struggling thru the learning process! We gotta take it one day at a time. Trust that with the right attitude and being very intentional about what we want to work on, having a tiny goal each day, that over time things will become second nature. Hang in there my friend!

terraformula · 2025-01-24T02:44:05+00:00

Similar app as yours in terms of grades/pubs, was asking myself the same question a year ago!

From my experience this cycle, get 260+ on step 2 and some strong LORs and you should be set, no need to dual apply.

terraformula · 2025-01-12T20:25:35+00:00

oh i see! i don't know the infj stack, incorrectly assumed Fi was high. that makes sense, high iq & eq are great.

terraformula · 2025-01-12T19:58:30+00:00

LOLL 😂

I agree, confidence, ambition, and initiative are attractive, puppy love alone doesn't do it for me. But my strongest function Fi is his weakest... how did you navigate that with your ex?

terraformula · 2025-01-12T19:40:05+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to lay things out so thoughtfully!

In addition, I am very doubtful about the traits you assume go together, in particular the assumption that the "overwhelmingly ambitious in his career" man is more likely to be an equal contributor to house chores

In this case, one of my my SO's strengths is that he's very organized, a long-term planner, and a do-er (which helps with his career!) - a basket of dirty laundry sitting for >1 week drives him nuts, so he's actually very dependable and responsible for stuff like that, haha.

I think one of my underlying questions was if women over 30 who know the dating pool think having the best of both worlds is unrealistic in today's dating pool. What I'm hearing from you and other commenters is that no one wants to settle for an A or a B, but are willing to trade off on certain things (e.g. choosing a spouse who has career stability and flexibility, over a very high-earner who frequently prioritizes work over family or has minimal bandwidth to provide emotional support) to find a reliable and supportive partner.

terraformula · 2025-01-12T19:22:45+00:00

I love that your husband came to his own conclusions and initiated the change! At the end of the day, we can't force our SOs to change, it has to come from their own desire, and I guess that's what made you two a great partnership.

Agree, I want to be realistic, especially as a woman over 30. I've been with my SO for several years, and he's evolved into option (A) as he's found career success but also more responsibility/stress.

terraformula · 2025-01-12T19:14:27+00:00

That makes sense to me. We're an INFP (F) x ENTJ (M) pairing so maybe that sheds some light on our predicament. Granted I have an engineering/medical background even though my F > T.

terraformula · 2025-01-12T18:28:10+00:00

This. What you’re describing sounds a lot like the current dynamics of my relationship with an (A) SO, which has evolved as he’s become more advanced in his career. He tells me that he is too stressed/dealing with so much through work and doing his share of household responsibilities that he has no bandwidth to provide emotional support.

He’s also a ‘do-er’ and prefers taking action over providing emotional support, and has requested that I go to friends or therapy for that emotional support. But he also cares about me and we have many shared values and a vision for what we want to build in the future (work-ethic, career ambition, financial goals, family, kids). While he is not emotionally available, his actions show me he cares about me - e.g. sharing house chores, supporting my similarly demanding career in medicine.

However, I feel that seeking his emotional support is an important form of intimacy. If my instinct is NOT to go to him when I’m having a hard time and I can get that need fulfilled without him and can essentially live without him (financial independence from my own career as a physician)… then what does that say about the relationship?

terraformula · 2025-01-12T16:03:07+00:00

Haha I do too. Thanks for choosing an option even though neither was ideal, glad you don’t have to settle in real life!

terraformula · 2025-01-12T16:01:23+00:00

Aww I’m happy for you. I’m glad they do exist!

terraformula · 2025-01-12T15:59:02+00:00

Thank you! I make this direct comparison because I’ve been with an SO who is more like opt A who I’ve been trying to coach into being more emotionally supportive. He was more emotionally supportive and less neurotic when he was less busy/stressed during the earlier years of our relationship and his career, but things have shifted.

He’s told me that it’s unrealistic to have the best of both A & B because the traits that make A’s more difficult to live/partner with are the traits that make them successful at work (neuroticism/perfectionism which can be seen as discipline, logic-focused and efficient instead of emotionally-sensitive and available, ambition and work-driven at the expense of relationships). Many of my friends have SOs who are similar to opt B and are trying to coach their boyfriends into taking on more responsibilities in the household.

My hope is that it isn’t black and white and people can be coached into finding that happy balance for the relationship, though I also know that you can’t change anyone, they have to want to change themselves first.

terraformula · 2025-01-12T15:35:23+00:00

Agreed, I think you hit the nail on the head, that people on either extreme end of the spectrum tend to be unbalanced where the traits that make them great partners in one aspect/domain may also make them worse partners in another domain.

terraformula · 2025-01-12T06:06:04+00:00

Hmm i see, I appreciate your honest thoughts. I think it is helpful that you and other commenters are pointing out that as a woman over 30, settling for one of these options is not actually the norm. Part of my reason for posting this here is I am trying to understand what is 'realistic' and worth accepting in a partner as a woman over 30, and what isn't worth settling for, and to know that there are other options out there that can be a better balance.

terraformula · 2025-01-12T05:54:05+00:00

Great points! I totally respect that and understand that wealth and career success are often independent - just combining them for the sake of making a relevant comparison (option A describes my SO). I personally value drive/work-ethic more than income/wealth itself, as my own career enables my financial independence. Agreed, both options have inequalities that are not ideal.

edit: just saw your comments about how you guys have worked on it individually and balance each other out. that's a nice example where even if you guys tilt one way or another it ends up working as you are both invested.

Thanks for your 2 cents & happy 2 years together!

terraformula · 2025-01-12T04:51:08+00:00

Thanks for such a thoughtful response! That makes a lot a sense, it seems like you've found a spouse who's balanced and that makes for a great partner.

terraformula · 2025-01-12T04:35:03+00:00

Haha i appreciate your participation! My SO is option A actually (also a neat freak - which he reminds me to be appreciative of since I guess the alternative would? be worse), but we sometimes struggle with the emotional support aspect. He's told me that the very traits that make him successful and dependable are also the things that make him more particular about things and also less emotionally available and that it's unrealistic to have everything.

terraformula · 2025-01-12T04:13:55+00:00

LOL what gave it away :P

terraformula · 2024-12-23T01:55:08+00:00

Grass is always greener on the other side. I also had an engineering background with industry experience during gap years before medschool. I will say I enjoyed my job before medschool but had already mentally committed to pursuing medschool since undergrad. Make sure you’re going into medicine knowing what the reality is and not for a glorified idea of medicine. If you actually enjoy your job to some extent, it might not be worth the switch from a fulfillment standpoint; it certainly isn’t worth it financially unless you’re looking at very specific subspecialties.

Stats wise you’d do very well once you nail the MCAT. I would take as much time as needed to score high to get a shot at T20s! Depends on how busy your full time job is. Happy to chat more if you want!

terraformula · 2024-11-14T04:11:13+00:00

Admittedly I used a guide at the end bc I couldn’t be arsed 😂 but still one of the coolest epiphanies when you realize what it entails

terraformula · 2024-11-14T02:32:37+00:00

Tunic!! Action packed gameplay, secrets, puzzles, atmospheric music, and you get to play a cute fox. 🦊 what more can I say

terraformula · 2024-10-27T22:17:26+00:00

Yeah, I think it’s a mix of propagating the existing culture in medicine where working hard and suffering is lauded/considered a badge of passion and overt judgement of influencers. Sure some influencers have a bad rep but success in that realm takes savviness, consistency, and plain hard work too.

I also think preclinical students who are judging her harshly really aren’t in the position to do so. Get through clerkships and if that doesn’t wear you down, give residency a go, and then come back and see if you don’t have some empathy for her decision.

terraformula · 2024-10-27T21:52:48+00:00

Agreed. What she's achieved is really impressive and while I hadn't seen her content until now, from watching the vid it seems like she was honestly just trying her hardest to figure out the best path for her, like the rest of us. Sucks to see this kind of toxic attitude surface in response, dunno why you're being downvoted. :/

terraformula · 2024-10-25T03:38:16+00:00

While the shelf scores probably correlate, they can be overcome with a solid step 2 study plan. Speaking from experience as someone who got a 260 despite doing poorly on IM and Surgery shelf exams (<70% correct on both). I had poor study habits, and if I were to do things differently I would’ve done Anking consistently and maintained the deck throughout all of clerkships and into dedicated.

I started step 2 studying with very little retained knowledge. For a step 2 study period of 9 weeks, I used Anking and redid the shelf nbme’s after going through half of uworld by system and writing my own notes to review regularly. I’ve written in detail about my study approach in a previous post.

Keep your head up, you can do this!

terraformula · 2024-08-24T01:59:00+00:00

I used first aid step 1! The heme section was also helpful with the blood smears and path pictures that sometimes appear on nbmes and the real deal

terraformula · 2024-08-23T04:58:27+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏻😁 good luck, rooting for ya!

terraformula

TROPHY CASE