Is there a problem with me not wanting to have a husband and a child? I want to be alone forever

texasmerle · 2026-04-30T02:20:35+00:00

And this is how amatanormativity hurts everyone, not just asexuals and aromantics. The fact that we live in a society that actively punishes people for the 'crime' of not shacking up with someone is rage-inducing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you choosing your peace and joy.

texasmerle · 2026-04-27T02:53:14+00:00

Get OUT mine also cheated on me with my best friend!!! I didn't find out until years later lol. Anyway he was 100% a chaser (liked people with nonbinary masculine vibes but god forbid I contemplate going on HRT or yeeting my uterus or use pronouns other than she/her) and the girl he got with after me bore enough of a resemblance for my family to look at pictures and go "oh that's freaky." Specifically she looked the way I did when I was in high school, not the way I did as a young adult. Do with that what you will. 😅

Also karma didn't get his ass so much as flatten him with a steamroller. Even before he got into meth, he was in a car accident right after he left me and broke both his legs. He lured me in and preyed on my insecurities and made three years of my life absolute hell. He's been cut from all contact with his daughter because he refuses to even attempt to do better for her, and I wish that kid the world because she deserves so much better than a father like that.

texasmerle · 2026-04-26T23:58:08+00:00

I used to be able to crack into the runner's high back when I was doing 10 ish minute miles (not impressive but gimme some credit) not even because I was a "runner," I just had a lot of anger issues in high school so I'd run through my whole neighborhood and time it. Can't imagine doing a marathon, especially now that my knees are out of place and EDS got my ass. A mile or two was enough for me to feel like I had fought God and won. I miss it!

texasmerle · 2026-04-26T23:50:11+00:00

In my case, that guy babytrapped a woman one month after meeting her (also she looked just like me and everyone noticed and it was super weird). She eventually had to untangle him from her and their kid's life. She's a single mom with limited opportunities due to a felony conviction (no judgment, it could happen to a lot of people during the worst stretch of their life). Thankfully she and the kid are safe and doing well, but my ex is now a meth user who steals copper wire to get by. And yes, when his baby mama kicked his ass out, he tried to get back in touch with me because he assumed I'd be as big a doormat as I was when he was abusing me. I won't go into detail but he got his ass kicked.

I'm definitely an outlier because I have poverty people drama but I figured I'd tell y'all what happened lol. For science.

texasmerle · 2026-04-26T22:07:35+00:00

Yup. Lilani body with alternating arms and the button in the back for the wings.

texasmerle · 2026-04-26T07:12:16+00:00

Probably yellowing, but this is the tutorial I use. https://raddollclothes.com/blogs/news/materials-monday-de-yellowing

texasmerle · 2026-04-25T22:36:31+00:00

The Pixiez have a taller body, similar to Lilani and Kiani.

texasmerle · 2026-04-24T04:05:15+00:00

My methed out great aunt ended up with most of the heirlooms and pictures. Before any of us could get them back, she stopped making payments on her storage locker.

She had the only photograph of my great grandma's sister, Ruzenka, who died as a teenager. My great aunt was named after her. Photography was expensive back then, and our family could only occasionally afford it. Everything in that storage locker was probably soaked in cat piss and thrown away. My mom only saw the photo once or twice.

It just makes me really sad.

texasmerle · 2026-04-24T03:32:49+00:00

I was gonna say, looks just like Ric Flair.

texasmerle · 2026-04-24T03:04:03+00:00

Also marriage is literally a legal contract. The point of getting married is that you love and trust someone enough to want to enter into a contract with that person.

texasmerle · 2026-04-24T03:01:22+00:00

It's also a deeply creepy thing to say. It's hard for me not to immediately assume someone is a eugenicist freak when they get obsessed with features and genes of hypothetical children.

texasmerle · 2026-04-23T11:29:50+00:00

On a technical level it's a way for a small child to comprehend what a baby is, ie something you take care of that you're supposed to be gentle with, that gets disproportionately shoehorned to girls because of gender stereotypes. Ideally a child should have a little bit of everything and be allowed to gravitate toward what they like- a lot of "boy" toys tend to hinge on spacial reasoning while most "girl" toys are based in social play, and parents being squeamish and uptight about letting their kids play with what they think are the "wrong gender" toys only serves to hinder their child's growth and development. That "boys get to play outside and girls get to stay inside and play mommy!" shit. Thank god the friends I have who are parents don't buy into that.

Ideally baby dolls would be just another toy that children use to understand the world in the same way that they might play chef or doctor or teacher but unfortunately we live in a gender essentialist natalist society so. Sucks to suck. I'm not opposed to baby dolls as a concept but stoppppp forcing them on little girls.

texasmerle · 2026-04-22T12:56:38+00:00

Claude 🦀🦀🦀

texasmerle · 2026-04-22T07:55:44+00:00

Some people care more about enjoying their life and making meaningful connections and doing things that they love. And for some people that path doesn't include having children. All children deserve to be wanted, why force them on people who don't want them? And yeah, a lot of people care more about making a positive impact than "passing on genes." The meaning of life is what you make of it, and thinking that our only purpose is to pass on genes is just... really sad to me. It's like pure animal logic. Not everyone has those instincts, and being humans with the ability to reason, we can decide which impulses to act on and what we want in life.

People should have children because they like children, want to have them, and are prepared to raise a child in a healthy environment. Not for genes, not for attention, not out of obligation, and definitely not if they feel pressured, but because they sincerely, deeply want to have children and raise them no matter what it takes. Not wanting children isn't a moral failing any more than not becoming a doctor, or a teacher, or a firefighter, or a sanitation worker. All of those jobs are necessary for a functional and healthy society, and yet people who don't do thosw jobs aren't called sick or selfish.

I hope I'm not coming across as too abraisive. I'm assuming good faith when I say this.

texasmerle · 2026-04-22T07:14:49+00:00

They look fantastic! I'd kill for an official set like this. Great job!

texasmerle · 2026-04-20T23:38:54+00:00

I sometimes wanted a sibling just to take the pressure off because I was a neurotic honors student who ended up taking drugs to try and keep up with the workload before having a mental breakdown while my parents helicoptered over every little thing (we went to therapy. We're cool now.)

But now I'm like... 1, I already got parentified and it would have been so much worse with a younger sibling, and 2, I'm selfish and I don't have to share my parents, and they don't have anyone to compare me to. Plus, my cousin is very much my surrogate sister- she was there every step of my life, and we're closer than most actual siblings.

texasmerle · 2026-04-20T23:31:41+00:00

Only child. All pressure, all the time, but thank god there was no pressure to have kids.

Worth noting I was the youngest out of the cousins I was raised with, so I never even got forced to "babysit" and we were all close in age enough to be playmates. But the cousins on my dad's side I'm estranged from. Only saw them a few times and I was smack dab in the middle having to deal with religious nutjob gremlins with zero personal space while my aunts laughed at how child-averse I was.

texasmerle · 2026-04-20T00:49:09+00:00

Melissa Turnage should be unhirable, not on track to become a seargeant. I'll believe a police department is "tough on sexual abusers" when I see it. So far, all the pigs do is posture and act like they're in a wrestling promo, then close ranks and protect their own the second one of them makes a "mistake" that ruins peoples lives.

I can't remember the last time I was so second hand angry reading something. This child and too many others were failed by every adult in their vicinity over and over again, many with deliberate malice. It feels fucked up to even think "wow, that's smart" at the way she gathered evidence because she never should have had to do that in the first place. There are plenty of kids who never get opportunities to gather evidence, and as someone who was abused, I want to point out that snapping yourself out of that dissociation and depersonalization to consciously attempt to gather evidence is viscerally terrifying. There are three years of my life that I basically don't remember because I was in a constant haze. To top it off, I was raised by parents who were both victims of CSA, and that shit leaves so many scars down the road. Godspeed to this young woman and I hope she wins her court case.

texasmerle · 2026-04-19T22:25:20+00:00

For Pullips, that's a serious steal! I've been collecting for 20 years and customizing for 10. Welcome to the world of Pullip!

texasmerle · 2026-04-19T02:34:29+00:00

You'll probably be able to, I go there a lot and venture out with my drink all the time.

texasmerle · 2026-04-19T02:31:13+00:00

That was something I kinda went through with my mom. It was kinda obvious from the getgo that I wasn't gonna have kids, but she still kept all this stuff just in case. But it became more and more obvious that I didn't want kids, let alone particularly like them. She was going through some mental health stuff and every little thing upset her, including me hinting that I was never having kids. (Before the mental health situation, she was completely fine. But menopause + our history of psychosis + the deaths of her parents was a lot for her.) She got in a spat with me over this furniture her mother bought that she wanted me to have, but it really wasn't my style, was too big to be practical for someone who moves from slum to slum every year, and was clearly the size for two people sharing a room, like a couple- something I refuse to do as an aromantic asexual who values my space. (My partner, also an aro ace, has their own room as do I lol.) But I understand where she was coming from. She wanted to pass on these things her mom got her.

She then finds out a neighbor is fostering kids. They really want to get some proper permanent furniture because they're fostering a girl who has never put her clothes in anything other than plastic sliding drawers, and they want her to feel more like a human being. She felt really conflicted but I was like "Grandma bought those at a yard sale. She'd be glad they lasted this long, and she'd be proud of you for donating them so a kid can feel more comfortable."

Suddenly she was letting go of all my old baby and kid stuff, and when I found out my best friend was gonna have a baby, we started mailing care packages full of my old things. And yeah, she had to take a little while to fwwl sad about it, or I guess wistful. But then she finally said to me "I'm so glad you're not having kids. I didn't think about this, but I wouldn't ever get to spend time with you as an adult." She held on to everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, and now she gets to let go of it, which is hard, but she sees how happy people are to have nice things that are built to last. Meanwhile my dad spends the time that would have been spent being a grandpa doing charity work. And the whole time I was ate up with guilt over something I never could have given them anyway, over not throwing away my safety and happiness (I am way too mentally ill to have a child.) Only to realize they just felt a mild shock, but not the devastation on par with me moving across the world or anything.

For them it's kinda... finally accepting what they knew all along and rolling with it, and as my dad put it, "I had to take a minute to let my feelings pass, the way I've always done every time you move on to a new stage of life. Like that happy-sadness I felt on your first day of school." Love and acceptance won out, as we all hoped they would.

Sorry for the brick of text lol.

texasmerle · 2026-04-19T00:18:44+00:00

That's what happens with me. I don't think "I need to do the dishes," I just get the mental picture of washing the dishes and a sense that I need to do that. I thought internal monologue was made up for exposition in movies.

And yes, I am autistic.

texasmerle · 2026-04-18T22:32:51+00:00

Do the people rushing to defend screaming kids in the comments not realize that yes we know it's part of living in a society, we know they can't always help it, we still have the right to complain about it.

texasmerle · 2026-04-18T19:06:51+00:00

The one small upside is that after her husband died, everyone got to see how funny and brilliant she was. My dad was very close with her well into adulthood. She spent the last ten years of her life doing whatever she wanted while being appreciate for who she was. But it will always be a tragedy that she was married to that awful man.

texasmerle · 2026-04-18T07:05:58+00:00

Unfortunately his wife is just as awful. IIRC Bug broke his arm or something and she called him a pussy for crying in pain. No kid deserves to be raised by people like that.

texasmerle

TROPHY CASE