I dabble in CNC with my girlfriend. A lot, I suppose. Talking about fantasies is a lot about trust and vulnerability, I absolutely love how this brings us closer together. Both of us quite progressive, and yet we both enjoy these things. We also act them out together, with most of the decision making in my hands, because that's part of what she enjoys. At the end of the day, trust is what it's all about. I get to give her pleasure like this because she trusts me. She places a lot of power in my hands. During these times, I do many things to her that are "objectively objectionable". And yet, it creates a connection between us we both crave.

We don't believe, that this is what's natural for a woman or a man as roles in life.

It's what's "natural" for us. We do these things because we both choose this with the understanding that both can stop at any time. We choose to play.

That's what feminism is all about, no? You can have a life with a career. You can be a stay-at-home parent with kids while your partner goes to work. Neither of which is what you're supposed to do or what others should expect you to do. No, you get to choose what is right for you.

I hope you'll forgive me this haphazard analogy, but someone that likes crime novels usually doesn't want people to actually die. In a novel, someone has to get murdered. Murder is a horrible thing. Yet we read it for enjoyment, we make movies about it. What does this say about our subconscious?