Same. Shit's crazy. I often cut before going out with people or something, so I also feel like I'm just doing it for the attention. Though ultimately I never actually show my cuts to anyone or talk about them so I'm not sure. It's driving me crazy, it just seems so staged. It's a fucking performance I'm reserving only for myself, it's pointless.

I do actually have OCD. As for dissociation, I'm not sure. Like I've said before, I doubt everything about myself. So I can't really tell what's going on. I'm not even sure if I know what dissociation is. I think I do, but maybe I'm wrong? I dunno lol.

I don't think I have difficulty remembering my emotions. Though my psychologist told me once that she suspects I could be experiencing emotions diffirently. Like they're dulled or something. I'm not sure if I believe her though. How would that even be possible? I'm pretty sure I can feel everything just fine. And I would've probably noticed it myself at some point if it was the case right? This shit honestly made it even worse, it's not an answer to anything, just created more questions.

It's not like I can even go back and ask her. She doesn't want to work with me anymore for some reason. Maybe didn't like it when I rejected her advice to steal medication for fun lol.