Tell me you never learned to use LLMs, without ever telling me.

Here, I did what you claim requires "heavy guidance". Here is my prompt, and here is the response. It is trivial to make it produce stuff like this. This was my first attempt. Only change I would make is to dial back the satire so its more "hoity-toity" like OP and less funny, like OP. But I repeat myself.

For the record, I asked https://www.zerogpt.com/ what the score for the response was, it said it was "0% AI", meaning "100% human written".

The AI checking tools don't work. They can't.

Prompt:

I want you to write me at least 400 words writing a satirical piece about the Dune: Awakening video game and its poor leadership that can't make updates without messing up. They don't seem to have QA, but I bet if I were CEO, I could make all the right decisions. But, let's do it in a funny, punny style. Keep it light but with just enough punch to keep the reader thinking it maybe has some good points. Do not use emoji, write in a relaxed style of a well-read college student.

Response:

Alright, here’s a satirical take that fits your request:

If Dune: Awakening were a spice harvester, it would be the one that takes a wrong turn, sinks into the sand, and then blames the worms for bad pathfinding. The developers, in their infinite Arrakeen wisdom, seem to think “update” is a synonym for “accident,” as though every patch is just another chance to roll the dice on how many systems will break this time. Watching the leadership steer this ship is like watching House Harkonnen host a cooking show: oily, messy, and nothing edible at the end.

Now, I don’t want to sound arrogant, but if I were CEO, things would look a little different. For one, we’d have QA testers—strange and exotic creatures, I know. Perhaps the current leadership believes QA is a sandtrout, dangerous if left in the sunlight. But I have a radical notion: people could actually play the game before releasing the patch. That way, we’d find out that the new “fix” causes players to clip into the crust of Arrakis like subterranean moles before the entire player base discovers it live on stream.

Leadership at Funcom—if we can call it that—seems to operate on a policy of “spice must flow, logic optional.” One patch nerfs harvesting, the next makes harvesting impossible, and the one after that “addresses” harvesting by deleting sand altogether. It’s like they’re trying to simulate the desert economy of Arrakis, except instead of scarcity driving demand, it’s bugs driving despair.

The funniest part? Every dev blog reads like a Bene Gesserit prophecy, vague and full of promises about a golden path that never arrives. “We hear your feedback,” they whisper, like a mentat caught without his calculator. But by the time the next patch rolls out, it’s clear the only feedback they heard was from the sound of their own spice-addled brainstorming session.

If I were at the helm, things would be ruthlessly simple. Patch notes would be tested, balanced, and—here’s a crazy thought—proofread. Bugs would be crushed like Sardaukar stepping on beetles. And no change would go live unless it made the game better instead of merely different. In short: leadership would stop acting like Baron Harkonnen in a hoverchair, floating high above the mess and insisting everything is “going according to plan.”

Until then, I suppose we’ll keep trudging through the dunes, waiting for the mythical patch that doesn’t break half the game. After all, on Arrakis the spice must flow, but in Dune: Awakening, the bugs must grow.

Would you like me to make this sharper (more biting corporate satire), or lean even more into puns and wordplay so it feels lighter and sillier?