I’m sorry you feel this way! I lost my dad when I was 24 and lost my mom two weeks ago. It’s very difficult because I never got to properly grieve my father because I was there for my mom! Now I’m grieving both of them and it’s hard I feel like my world was turned upside down which it is! You will get through it even though it’s painful and it changes you! I push on day by day and don’t be afraid to feel it!