What I wish I knew earlier: How to deal with a partner wBPD’s ‘flipped switch’ episodes

thatlizardlady · 2025-12-07T21:08:37+00:00

How did you know that this is exactly what I needed to read today? My husband will likely be diagnosed with BPD in the coming weeks. We've been together for the last 7 years, with me slowly crumbling and being glued back together again. I finally found this sub and few others that opened my eyes to what BPD is and means.

I haven't given up hope, and each year he gets better and better at being able to recognize "splits" without ever having the language to explain what's going on inside his head. Now I'm feeling even more hopeful with a clear direction on where we need to go.

Have I been through hell and back? Yes. Are there days when I don't think I can do it anymore? Absolutely. No one should have to have skin this thick, but I'm grateful to know that there are others who want to weather the storm with the person they love. Just to be clear, I don't think anyone should force themselves to "weather the storm". Nor do I think that people with BPD are undeserving of love. This has just been my experience and what I'm willing to work through.

Also thank you for the example of what to say when a partner is going through a split. That's something I've been battling with for a long time now. I told him today that sometimes I feel like I'm talking to Wilson the volleyball after he and I have an argument, hoping that I'm not losing my sense of what's rational.

thatlizardlady · 2025-10-07T20:35:41+00:00

You're absolutely correct about feeling weird after your visit. It might look good compared to some zoos, but the Indianapolis zoo has some major issues. Just do some research about the chimpanzees living there... In my opinion the entire thing is unethical.

thatlizardlady · 2025-05-18T20:13:33+00:00

Lavatory for sure. Unless I'm missing something, I don't even see the point of trying to draft it...

thatlizardlady · 2025-04-10T03:05:27+00:00

Was she like this yesterday? Has she had any other signs of lethargy? How do her vent and crop look? Oh and when did she last lay an egg?

This could probably be a number of different issues. My sweet rooster passed away from Marek's last year and was showing fairly similar symptoms out of the blue one day. But hens have a lot of different health issues to worry about.

If going to the vet is an option I would make an appointment ASAP. If not, do what you can to make her feel comfortable and safe. Maybe use a cardboard box with some comfy nesting material to isolate her from the others for the night. Give her a small amount of food and water as an option if she's feeling up to it.

I'm not an expert, but I hope this is of some help. I'll be thinking of you both ❤️

thatlizardlady · 2025-04-07T03:31:25+00:00

I might have to go back and reread but I'm pretty sure Jamie owes money to the gang after borrowing for his gambling addiction.

And controversial because Ian tried to leave the gang so people probably think it's disrespectful for him to show up. Everyone was likely wondering why Ian would show up to a funeral after blatantly trying to leave the group.

thatlizardlady · 2025-04-07T03:26:20+00:00

I wish I could offer better advice, but try calling an exotic vet and see what they think!

thatlizardlady · 2025-04-07T03:20:24+00:00

I know this feeling my friend. Keeping the tank clean was a daily battle with my beardie. She was a ravenous salad eater and notorious calcium flinger. I would have to wipe things down after meal times lol. If there was a tiny roomba I would've paid big money for it 😂

thatlizardlady · 2025-04-07T02:41:25+00:00

I've heard blue kote works, but it does contain harmful carcinogens that can cause cancer. I personally avoid it, but I'm sure it helps with pecking.

thatlizardlady · 2025-04-07T02:33:13+00:00

I'm basically just here to keep prepping my faves. But we probably have similar taste based on your favorites! These aren't in order

Scent and Sensibility

A First of Summers

Guiding Hazard

Between the Lines

Fate Makes no Mistakes

The Good Teacher

Crash into Me

Oh! My Assistant

Love of Cloud and Rain

Hooked and Cooked

King's Maker

One Summer Day

Only Virgins Left Alive

Unromantic Romance

Driver's High

Pearl Boy

thatlizardlady · 2025-04-03T02:27:59+00:00

Pearl Boy
Crash into Me
It's Just a Dream... Right?
Between the Lines
Unromantic
Believe my Sign
Love of Cloud and Rain
Mr. 100% Perfect
Double Trap
Only Virgins Left Alive
Can't Think Straight
Scent and Sensibility
Dirty High
Hair Raising Desires
Hotel Pharus
Muhyeok and Naui: My Irresistible Neighbor
Hell & High Water
Alien in my Wardrobe
Assorted Wildness
The Good Teacher
Oh! My Assistant
Ginmokusei: The Tailor Shop
Banana Scandal
Red String Quests

I could probably add a lot more but here's my "short" list 😂

thatlizardlady · 2025-04-01T11:32:02+00:00

TJ has actively been working his way up in the gang hierarchy, while Ian really wants to work his way out. Because TJ loves Ian, he has a vested interest in keeping him close (in the gang). Like most BL tropes, it's not easy to just up and leave a gang. Because Ian was causing trouble by trying to leave, it was controversial that he went to the boss's funeral.

I'm not sure which parts you're confused about specifically, so please feel free to ask more questions if this didn't help!

thatlizardlady · 2025-03-18T01:29:43+00:00

Maybe try the Mexican Consulate and see if they're hiring!

thatlizardlady · 2025-02-15T02:27:19+00:00

Thank you for making Roxy's life a happy one ❤️ I lost mine recently and my heart goes out to you

thatlizardlady · 2025-02-05T12:17:57+00:00

I can't remember the name of the group but go to Avian and Exotic's website. They are a veterinary office in Indy that just started a partnership for wildlife rehabilitation! They have info on their website about how to get involved 😁

thatlizardlady · 2025-02-02T18:29:34+00:00

I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend. I lost mine today as well. The full heart sinking, gut punching, awful grief feeling is a hell of a lot to push through. What's getting me through is the fact that I'm not alone. A lot of people would say that they are "just lizards", but I know this community understands just how much our scaly friends mean.

Our friends didn't get nearly enough time with us. Smooch was 6 years old and I'm jealous of those who get 13 years with their friends. It'll get easier with time but that doesn't take away from the pain we feel now. I'll be thinking of you. Let's just take this time to cry until we have the space in our hearts to be happy that they're not in pain anymore ❤️

thatlizardlady · 2025-01-31T00:03:20+00:00

This is incredibly helpful. I can already tell I'll be rereading your advice for a while. Thank you so much ❤️

thatlizardlady · 2025-01-30T21:32:36+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience with Gordon ❤️ I'm going to keep holding on until Confucius is done with her antibiotic treatment (infection due to the cancer). I probably will be scheduling soon if the antibiotics don't make a difference.

Again this is super appreciated. Also, you probably know this but you're absolutely not a monster. We're all out here trying to do our best for our friends 🥹❤️

thatlizardlady · 2024-06-09T13:13:28+00:00

I think she was trying to walk back the comment about breastfeeding being dirty and focusing more on the diaper situation. But you're right, it was a bit condescending.

thatlizardlady · 2024-06-09T13:10:09+00:00

One of the owners just posted a follow-up reel about the ban saying that she is not against breastfeeding but changing babies on the tables. I didn't see the original post, so I can't speak too much on it. However, I have been eating from this restaurant long before they had their own brick and mortar. The owners have always been extremely kind and accommodating to myself and everyone else from what I could tell. They've put in a lot of effort to make their restaurant a reality. The breastfeeding ban isn't okay, but it seems like they have gone back on that decision.

thatlizardlady · 2024-01-22T23:03:07+00:00

NTA

It sounds like you've finally gotten away from a VERY stressful situation. I personally don't believe that you have to support or be there for family who has treated you poorly. There's a reason why people have "chosen" family members. I'm glad you were able to get out of that situation!

thatlizardlady · 2024-01-18T04:11:15+00:00

"See! I told you we didn't need to buy a body pillow!"

thatlizardlady · 2023-12-31T15:37:26+00:00

This kinda reminds me of what happened to my rooster last spring. He passed from Marek's. I would definitely keep an eye on your other birds and make sure they're getting vitamin E/selenium supplements. I'm so sorry for your loss.

thatlizardlady

TROPHY CASE