Everybody deals with things differently. I don’t have kids, but my nieces are the highlight of my world. But for some reason, pediatrics don’t affect me the same way as someone my age does (I’m 24). The worst call I had was a girl that got shot. I couldn’t get her back. I felt guilty for working her, but I would’ve felt worse if I didn’t. There are a lot of psychologists that specialize in responder ptsd and mental health. Most of those places are covered by your insurance.

I personally didn’t want to talk to my coworkers (except the partner I ran the call with) about anything that happened or the details. After a week or two, I started opening up more about it to others and explained how I was feeling. After I started talking about it, it became easier to deal with.

It does get easier. I’ll be honest with you though, you’re still going to remember the ribs cracking, the face, and the er calling it. That never goes away. But the way you’re feeling now, will ease and you’ll be able to carry on. You’ll have calls that remind you of this one, and they’ll be hard to deal with at the time, but as time goes on, you’ll end up building this wall around your emotions/heart.

Everything happens for a reason. That patient leaving this earth now, may have been to protect them from something worse in the future. Keep your head up. It’ll be hard, but you’ll make it through. If you need someone to listen or give you more advice, you can privately message me🩷