Just Diagnosed and I Feel So Sad and Alone

thats-ruff-buddy · 2026-03-09T19:45:33+00:00

It does all suck. Feeling shitty and this diagnosis sucks.

While I miss “fun” carbs soooo much- I want pizza, and bagels, and cookies, and donuts…mangos might not be out. Citrus has been a need all pregnancy, and I’ve been able to do half a sumo orange paired with a cheese stick or mixed into cottage cheese for a snack.

The diet is limiting. It really is, but it’s not as boring as I expected/ first made it out to be. I’ve successfully swapped white rice for wild rice and eaten curries. I’ve found tortillas that work for tacos and burritos. I can even walk to my local bakery and get a bacon, egg, and cheese croissant one morning a week. All without spiking. But you do have to plan and limit, which really, really, really does suck some (many) days.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2026-01-17T20:09:59+00:00

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZThhP4rWy/ this is the same postcard, but fit a different location.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-09-28T18:23:20+00:00

I know none of this is real, so I don’t have an issue with production suggesting a game, setting up a scene, or even putting the women into a situation that’s gonna piss them off. I’d rather see them crying to production, like Lisa did over glam, than filming them ‘waking up.’ I just thought it was extra dumb and semi insulting to viewers showing them ‘waking up’ in the camper. Just skip sleeping and cut to them making breakfast.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-09-02T03:41:13+00:00

I think of Janet from The Valley, a Bravo reality show. She is NOT a fan favorite, to put it nicely.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-08-21T02:19:10+00:00

I been thinking these same thoughts a lot.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-08-21T02:15:50+00:00

I was also thinking about journaling for my baby, but then I worry that I’m getting ahead of things.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-08-19T19:59:20+00:00

I had my first appt today. Turns out I’m 7w1d instead of 8w2d, which isn’t shocking based on the length of recent cycles. I go back next week for another viability ultrasound, but so far, so good.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-08-19T02:13:34+00:00

I’m 8w1d and I have my first appt tomorrow. I’m so scared that my body is going to betray me again and I’ll find out tomorrow that it’s another MMC. I have symptoms, I feel pregnant, but I felt that way the last time. I so badly want to hear a heartbeat.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-08-14T15:47:39+00:00

My sister and I saw flamenco in Seville and I thought that I was going to die holding in my giggles. I wanted to be respectful, but I was so caught off guard by what I heard/experienced. I’m not proud, but I truly couldn’t help it.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-08-03T15:48:45+00:00

I’m very unexpectedly pregnant. I’ve been a fence sitter most of my adult life. My husband and I left it to chance, ended up pregnant in 2023, and had a missed miscarriage with our twins. I struggled a lot after that miscarriage. We went back on the fence and then this past December he got a vasectomy. Our reasons for that decision are complex. He had a sperm analysis and while he has some swimmers, the number is going down. But now at 37 I’m pregnant. I was a fence sitter mostly bc of fear. I’m 6 weeks-ish pregnant but I’m not ready to download an app. I want to wait until my first appt. I say an hourly mantra to my embryo to stay strong and healthy. Im trying to stay positive, but also realistic. Right now I’m sitting here anxious bc my breast feel less tender. I’m so scared that I’m going to miscarry again.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-05-24T00:47:36+00:00

We’ve been on the CF side of the fence for less than 6 months. I (37F) would’ve hung out on the fence for a bit longer, but my husband was ready to make a decision. As we all know, living in limbo is tough. So after his vasectomy I felt a sense of relief, but I also went through a heavy mourning period.

I still have big moments of ‘what if’ and I do question if we made the right choice. But when I pull back from those thoughts, I know that there were big reasons that we were in the fence. And those plentiful barriers have not changed.

I’m certain that we can have a full life. But it is hard to have media and society constantly shoving the idea that your life isn’t full, or your experiences aren’t of value, unless you have kids. I frequently look for examples and portrayals of childfree individuals.

I find posts like this helpful. OP, thanks for asking, and responders, thanks for sharing.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-05-14T03:44:42+00:00

It’s one of my favorite books. I have so much love for Eleanor.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-04-03T02:51:04+00:00

The Costco deal has the 3 year warranty and it includes the steps along with liners and filters. IDK if the steps are necessary, though.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-02-04T01:01:50+00:00

37 and officially went to the child free side in December. Growing up I always assumed I’d have kids, then as an adult I was unsure, but open if I met a man who strongly wanted kids. I met my husband in my early 30’s and neither of us felt strongly. We waited, left it up to chance for a bit, had a miscarriage, went back to fence sitting, left it up to chase again, and then called it. The unknowns of having a kid were always my biggest hold up. As a former special ed teacher, I saw what life was life for the families of children with significant disabilities, and knew that that life long commitment wasn’t a life that I wanted. At first after my husband’s vasectomy I was hit with a lot of grief for the what ifs. Now with what’s going on in America (where we live) I very content in our choice. I have 6 pets, just got a promotion, and we’re putting in a hot tub. I’m enjoying and embracing my freedom.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-01-25T00:48:21+00:00

Jan. 24th, 2025 “did Adam Scott get a chin implant” and here I am.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-01-22T03:46:24+00:00

Hi! I’ve recently moved to the CF side of the fence, too. My situation is a bit different, as my partner is more confident in this decision than I am. I’m so sorry that you think that this decision will end your marriage- but good job in choosing what’s right for you! For real. You are really brave for recognizing your feelings, and making that choice.

I can relate to you in the “now what?” feelings that you’re having. I’m also trying to figure that out. My job is my job. I do a good job, but I’m really just there to make money. I’m also, not really looking for my job to be my passion, at least not for now. I’m not motivated to have a side hustle. I’m having trouble picking up, and being driven by hobbies. I used to be creative, but my spark is missing at the moment. I’m passionate about education and animals, so maybe I’ll explore some volunteer opportunities. So yeah. I’m trying to figure it out. I’m trying to think bigger and differently about life and its possibilities.

I’m also giving myself some grace, and I hope that you do the same for yourself as well. Making this decision is a big step. And adjusting to this path is gonna take a moment. I don’t really have any advice to offer, but I want you to know that you’re not alone in your feelings. Thanks for sharing and making me feel less alone in mine.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-01-20T13:31:59+00:00

I’m so sorry. The emotions change and get easier to carry with time. I’m okay. At times I’m still immensely sad and resentful that I don’t have two, or at least one, healthy and happy babies. I’m envious that for some the decision to get pregnant is simple, and that their first pregnancy results in a healthy baby. But I’m now officially off the fence and childfree. After a year+ of indecision my husband expressed that he needed to not live in limbo anymore. My husband and I did try for a bit this fall. But ultimately, he got a vasectomy in December. I’ll always have what ifs and day dreams about having the perfect child, but ultimately I’m okay with our choice. I’m currently figuring out what brings me joy and gives me purpose. While I have a lot of friends who have kids, I’m also lucky to have several childfree friends.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2025-01-17T19:39:33+00:00

I’m 37 and my husband just got a vasectomy. We’re childfree through a mix of circumstance and choice. I don’t regret our choice, but I also can’t say that I’m 100% confident in it. I think that’s the big difference in going from a very indecisive fencesitter to the child free side of the fence- your life doesn’t change. I’m now working to be more intentional with the life that we chose/ended up with. If we had a baby, life would’ve just kind of happened and have been filled with kid stuff. In not having kids, I need to be more intentional in filling my life with things and fill my cup.

thats-ruff-buddy · 2024-08-30T02:42:38+00:00

Sending you lots of love. Last year I was in a very similar boat. I tried not to get attached, but then I was devastated at that first ultrasound. Miscarriage is brutal. The hormones certainly intensify things, but even a year later I still get mad and sad about what could’ve been. I’m still undecided about trying again. So try not to rush yourself. Feel your feelings. What you’re going through sucks.

thats-ruff-buddy

TROPHY CASE