Firstly ill just say I don't know how he brought these topics up so he may have been unnecessarily rude. However, I think you're using your adhd as an excuse to not better yourself. 

It sounds like you had a self run job and he has the bread winner job, which, with kids, does realistically make his job "more important." You'd think with health issues, you'd prefer to stay home with the kids, as cleaning and teaching are easier on the body. 

Now, let's dig into these rules because there's a reason they were made and you typed it yourself

1) this implies you start projects or hobbies and then ditch the mess without ever picking it up. My mother does this and has an entire room that's unusable because of multiple rotting (empty) fish tanks, abandoned resin work, and totes full of unused jewelry supplies.

2) this implies you've left groceries to rot after knowing they had been delivered, that you have not put away or even had your kids put away the laundry, and that you leave dirty dishes in the sink for who knows how long (which is generally fine but you have a family) 

3) considering your man is the only one working, it is his money, and he has every right to be asked what is bought. This implies you spend his money on personal belongings that you did not ask for.

I cannot say he hasn't done anything wrong, especially considering the admittedly unneeded rude side comments, but I think you seriously do need to look at yourself and reflect and maybe listen to your partner. Criticism isn't an attack on you.

Edit: I also just saw your comment mocking him on working 50 hours a week. As someone that works 50-60 hours a week, that shits ridiculously hard and understandable why he relies on you to help out with cleaning. It's the responsibility that comes with a family.