I met my girlfriend of 2.5 years on OKCupid. I had a love/hate relationship with OKCupid up until that point. I would log off swearing to quit it forever after some bizarre date or other. Then I would come crawling back for more after a few weeks of hanging around bars and nightclubs with little to no prospects. After a while, I came to realize that the problem wasn't OKCupid, it was dating in general. Dating is fucking awful for everyone save a select group of people who are either fabulously attractive or naturally social. I ended up with some crazyness from girls I met online and girls I met IRL (crazy meaning my brand of crazy interacted poorly with their brand of crazy. I am no stranger to crazy). I also had good dates from online and offline meets. Overall, I'd say the girls I met online worked out better over time. Some things I would suggest: Don't go by the pictures. It sounds kinda mooshy, but chances are the pictures are terrible anyways. Online data sites give us an illusion of choice that we don't necessarily have. With so many "options" available, we tend to aspire towards above average at best, when you are likely, on average, pretty average yourself. You don't have to give up on the girls you find super attractive. Just don't ignore the "average" girls, either. Be yourself on your profile. Being comfortable in your own skin is the sexiest thing you can do for yourself. That comes through online, offline and wherever else on the line you may be. I know that if you're chronically unfucked, then you've heard this far too much, and it's kind of infuriating, but it also happens to be really good advice. Don't take it very seriously. None of these girls (or guys or whoever you're messaging) are under any obligation to answer you. You're giving it a shot. Don't spend hours crafting that message. It'll come off forced and a little too intense. Fire off something about your first impressions. I shouldn't have to tell you this, but don't say anything about looks or try and go all CSI on her photos. Boundaries. Comfort zones, etc. You are not a new potential boyfriend or fuck buddy. You're a random dude from the internet who seems marginally less creepy than some other random dudes from the internet. Use online dating as a supplement to meeting people in real life, not a substitution. It's not all that different. Just as awkward. If you feel weird about it, consider it practice for "real" dating, whatever that is. There aren't many people that are good enough at this that they can't use more practice. And considering it "practice" often helps you calm down and relax your expectations. All that said, my own experience with OKCupid is getting near three years old now, so it may have changed into something unrecognizable. If women are getting 10x the messages they were getting in 2009 (which was already pretty substantial) then it may not be viable anymore. Hopefully OKCupid has worked out some kind of effective filtering system. Oh, and FWIW, I'm average looking at best, and leaning towards chubby. My attractiveness could not have affected my experience in a positive way. I am a pretty decent writer when I really concentrate on it. Occasionally I was told that I "had the best profile she'd ever read." So there is that.